


Pink Flowers

by bunnykookiee



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Complicated Relationships, Depression, Eren Is a Little Shit, Erwin and Levi are med student, Eventual Smut, F/F, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Smut, Furlan Church and Levi and Isabel Magnolia are Siblings, Minor Character Death, Murder, Slice of Life, Slow Burn, Stereotypes, True Love, but still surprise you, soo much fluff
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-07-30
Updated: 2019-02-18
Packaged: 2019-06-18 20:33:34
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 23
Words: 58,561
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15494121
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bunnykookiee/pseuds/bunnykookiee
Summary: You were a student and you were trying to build your future life. A man who was not clear where he came from, suddenly entered your life.Will that be good for you?You loved him, God you loved him so much.Did he love you too?You were changing and your friends were changing too.Is this change a good thing?Well, I think it's time to learn.





	1. Beginning

**Author's Note:**

> Hello Guys! This is my first work. I just wrote things that came to mind also my English is not very good. I hope you don't mind and I hope you love it and you can find something about yourselves. I'll wait for your comments ^^.

You didn't know where your life is going. Like everyone, you came here three years ago to study, to build something about your life... But you had already learnt your lesson. The world didn't work like that.  


When it comes to nine o'clock, you were prepared to go home from the cafe where you work three days a week. You offered to help for Mikasa who was a co-worker of you but she said to you "it's okay." with a reckless gesture like always so you said " good night" to your other co-worker that name was Armin. When you stepped outside from the cafe, the cold air hit your face like a steel, then you started rubbing your hands each other. You grabbed your bag and took a pair of gloves out. Your hands were numb because of cold and one of your gloves fell down. You made a sad sound and while you were bowing over your knees, someone you hadn't notice before had taken your glove before you. He held your glove out towards you. When you looked at the stranger's face, you noticed, he was Eren that your classmate also Mikasa's boyfriend.  


"Oh, thanks Eren. Why are you waiting outside? Mikasa still hasn't finished her work, you're gonna freeze." You took your glove from him and started wearing your gloves. You saw for just a one second his face was covered with sorrow but suddenly he gave you his bright smile.  


"It's okay. I wanna stay a little longer. Are you going home?" he asked you. His big green eyes were shining under the darkness of night. When you first saw him at the school canteen, he was trying to run the coffee machine with his big green eyes underneath the frowned eyebrows. You had no friends at those times and the man who was obstinate with the coffeemaker had you laughing. So you helped him out hoping to start a conversation. You learnt you were in the same class then you become close friends. You looked his eyes with a smiling expression.  


"Yeah, I'm going home. I have to sleep early tonight. Tomorrow is our turn for the laboratory lesson, you know."  


He breathed out loudly. "Yes, yes. I'll call you before you go to lunch break."  


You nodded."Okay, see you tomorrow."  


Then you started to go the way of your home that luckily, was near the cafe. When you are walking, you thought Eren's first face expression today and realized Mikasa wasn't in the mood today too. Mikasa usually didn't talk too much but somehow you knew she was happy but today was pretty different. You decided to talk about this with Eren tomorrow if something wrong between two of them. You wondered, will you have such problems in your life. You weren't dissatisfied with your life. Your lessons were going well, and there were friends around you that you loved, but somehow you were alone.   


While you struggling with these thoughts, you already came to your apartment door. You open the first door and entered the apartment. Then you went up to the second floor with stairs and put the key in the keyhole but before you opened the door, your crazy housemate Hange opened the door with shouting.  


"Welcome home grumpy ass ! Where have you been?"  


You sulked again."I was busy to spend all of my family money. This is my daily job shitty glasses, didn't you know that?"  


You forcibly removed your shoes from your foot and you threw yourself in but your crazy friend was crazier today. Hange jumped to the top of you and hugged you without allowing you to remove your coat.  


"HEY! Hange what are you doing?" you cried out. You've been tired of running around all day, sometimes you were wondering how Hange found this energy. 

"(Y/N) today we were talking with Erwin and you know we are together for a long time. He wanted me to meet his best friend. He offered to eat together! "  


You stopped and suddenly felt so happy because this means of Erwin was very serious about their relationship with Hange. Hange was an engineer and she was so full of joy and unpredictable person. You met her while you were following the repair of a laboratory device. You were searching for a housemate because house rentals were so expensive. Like you said before, she was a light-headed person and she was looking for a person who can accept her. You volunteered for this and the truth is, you didn't regret it. She and Erwin met in the cafe where you worked in after she moved into your apartment a year ago. Erwin was a med student whose school was in front of the cafe. He had a blonde hair and tall height compatible with Hange. He also had a more responsible and serious personality and now you were just very excited for them.  


"Hange are you serious? This is an awesome new! He wants you to know him better. When are you guys going?" you shouted this time and hugged back to her.  


"Uhm. Actually when are WE going is a more accurate question (Y/N)." she lowered her eyes to the ground and mixed his hair with one hand.   


You were confused. Then you sighed with realization and pulled out your coat. You hung up your coat and you passed into a living room. You put your feet o the couch as if you postponed the answer, you felt like maybe she could forget this but no, of course, she was still looking at you with puppy eyes. Strangely, you felt so bright because Erwin will bring his best friend with him so Hange asked you then this means... Your thoughts were interrupted with Hange's voice.  


"Come on (Y/N)! I saw him because of you. You lasted me, took care of me during all these years. You are the only person that I want to meet my boyfriend. Please."  


You closed your eyes. You couldn't turn her down like this."Alright shitty glasses. I'm going to come but I don't know anything about Erwin and his friend too so you have to take care of me this time.  


Hange screamed with joy.  
"Yey! Thank you so much (Y/N). I knew that you will accept this! We are gonna have a great time, promise. Dinner is tomorrow at eight o'clock. We can go there together."  


You stretched where you were sitting." Deal then. I want to go to the shower and sleep now."  


When you were in the bathroom, you could still hear Hange's excited screams from the living room.

~~~~~~~~ Tomorrow Lunch Break

You were waiting for Eren in front of the dining hall. You felt very exhausted right now because of the class. Sometimes it's too much to work and study at school at the same time, but there was no point in complaining. It became a routine for you to get tired. Therefore you were praying for the Eren can come quick. When he finally showed himself, you waved him. Even though he came to the school in the afternoon, he was still sleepy. While you both were taking your food trays, you were busy to tell him about yesterday's events. He seemed to listen to you but actually, he wasn't here with you.  


" Can you actually believe it? I'm dying from anxiety right now. Probably, I'm gonna get bored and disturb Hange." you twisted your lip and put the pasta in your fork in your mouth.  


He continued to eat."Yeah, probably."  


You lifted a single eyebrow."Also I haven't been able to poop for a long time."  


"That's cool." He said.  


Okay, he was definitely not here and you realized to ask him what's going on."Hey, Eren. Are you..."  


Before you hadn't the chance to ask him, Jean, that one of Eren's friends came and he wanted to help with some computer works. Also, he apologized to ask during the lunchtime but he told it was urgent. So Eren agreed to help for Jean and they said you to " see you later" and they were gone. You didn't know exactly what happened but you wondered what made your friend so isolated from the real world. When Eren was gone, you took the tray and left the table.  


After spending the rest of the day in school, you went out to go home. You had been so tired of the evening programme so you decided to take a taxi because unfortunately, the day was just beginning. Even though you were waiting for a taxi, you were feeling the pain of your feet. All the taxis passing by are full, finally, a taxi stopped a little far away from you and you were happy to finally you could rest. But it's unfortunate while you were walking to the taxi, a man from nowhere came and tried to open the door. However, you stopped him.  


"Hey, look I stopped this cab. So you can't get it." you were too tired and your sound came out angrily. The man that have cold steel blue eyes looked at you as if you killed his mother two seconds ago.  


"No, I didn't see you when you were waiting. This taxi is mine."He said this as he swore you. He didn't wait for your answer for a one second and he took the cab and just disappeared. You were so mad right now and you wanted to punch somebody or something. You took a few deep breaths to relax and you decided to get on the bus instead. You didn't want to lose any more time and felt much more nervous.  


Finally, when you arrived at the home, you saw Hange was already ready."Come on (Y/N). We're gonna be late. Be quick!"  


You had already got so much stress but you didn't anything so quickly got dressed. You've already begun to succumb to the night. Your only wish was to quickly finish this night. Hange preferred to a classic black dress and you preferred to a cute dress with pink flowers that in a way that is completely opposite to your soul. When you were ready, Hange hastily brought us to the rendezvous point. Fortunately, Hange kept talking along the way, you could found some time to rest.  


The place of Erwin chose wasn't an elite place so you felt little more comfortable. You didn't want to stress yourself out by trying to adapt to a place where you don't belong. When you were examining the place, Hange saw Erwin and his friend and waved them. She started to walk towards the table and she was pulling you at the same time. You tried to detach from your thoughts and prepared yourself to say hi to the table. You put a smile on your face. As soon as Hange was out of your way, your smiling expression changed.  


You had known this cold steel blue eyes, you saw them before. The black haired man handed you his hand at the same time he still didn't let his ego down. Nevertheless, you knew that he knew you, and in a strange way, you felt like he wanted to apologize. All of these emotions took place in a few seconds, and he decided what to do in a few seconds too.  


"I'm Levi. Sorry for the cab by the way."  


And he frowned.  


Even more than you.


	2. Memories

You almost a stone.  


He, he, this bastard that stole your cab. He was trying to apologize right now, but you haven't forgotten his gaze at you before. When you looking at the hand that extended to you, Hange and Erwin were looking to you.  


"Did you know each other?" Erwin asked hesitantly.

"No." You said.

"Yes." He said.

You looked at him like the way he looked at you in front of the door of the cab then you hold his hand.

"I'm (Y/N)." from your voice, it was understood how distant you were. If you were irritated from someone, you'd be showing it in any way.

Erwin and Hange were uneasy with this situation also they didn't understand exactly what happened. You knew this is so simple situation, you hadn't been able to think about the subject but this man was standing in front of you got on your nerves. He may be used to being rude to everyone, but he was able to know it doesn't apply to you. Hange tried the lighten up the mood.

"Come on why we aren't sitting? By the way hello Levi, I'm Hange. Nice to meet you." she said with a bright smile.

He even didn't say "nice to meet you too."! Just stared and nodded. This man had no kindness. Hange seemed a little bit broke down too but somehow she looked like ready for this.

"Okay, nice to meet you too then," she said to yourself with shrug. 

That wasn't a good start. Everyone on the table was stretched out for no reason, and that's the only reason this a guy called Levi. Then your menus came and you chose your meal immediately because the only thing that could make you happy right now is food also if your mouth is full, maybe you won't have to talk. But where Hange was, you knew it was an impossible prospect. Then again a painful conversation started.

Erwin asked you lots of questions. What are you studying? Where are you working? What are your hobbies? etc. You gave him sincere answers, asked him questions too. It made you warm up and distract your head. When you thought, Erwin wasn't a bad person. Actually, you liked him because he listened to you, he valued to you and he was kind. You thought again as if Hange and Erwin complete each other. Hange loved too much talking and sometimes she was talking nonsense but on the other hand, Erwin talked less but he always talked meaningfully. Also, Hange didn't listen to people much but Erwin was a good listener. Hange got excited easily but Erwin usually could stay calm. However, Hange had a practical intelligent but Erwin had a logical intelligent. However poor Hange didn't start a conversation with Levi as good as ours.

When your meals have come, you hadn't any doubt about Erwin. You were happy to meet him. For all that, your eyes sometimes slid the man that sitting in front of you. Strangely, when you looked at him, he looked at you with cold blue eyes. As if he didn't separate his eyes. He didn't join your conversation but somehow he could show, he was listening. Sometimes he nodded, sometimes he put a small grin on his face or he made disapprove sounds just like Mikasa. You wondered how this man who called Levi could be Erwin's best friend. You wanted to hold yourself because you didn't want to look like you were interested in with him. Nevertheless, time was getting late and you felt the heat of wine circulate all of your body. Eventually, you couldn't hold back yourself.

"Hey, Erwin please tell me how have you and Levi met?"

Erwin laughed a little and then turned his head to Levi. Levi, on the other hand, looked you with a surprise. You thought one second if you asked a wrong question but Levi smirked secretly.

"Could you bring some wine for this table please?", Levi said to the waiter.

" We grew up in a very dangerous area. There were high crime rates. Erwin's family was a better condition than we were but when his father died, his condition was not brighter than me. I was trying to look at one brother and one sister alone and we were staying with my drunk uncle." 

It was surprising that Levi, who didn't speak during dinner, suddenly joined the conversation. Levi continued to explain slowly to you. Erwin let this to Levi. It was like if he made this, Erwin was gonna be comfier. For some reason, they both were smiling secretly just like my question was remembered some memories for them. As Levi told the story, you were more interested in the part about him. You never thought he had such a difficult childhood, you thought he was a completely cynical person.

"I was trying to earn some money and somehow one child appeared in my way. He was so good looking and he offered me to play with him but I refused and robbed him." 

Erwin laughed loudly. 

"I was so stupid enough to walk around alone in such a dangerous place."

Levi continued.

"Yeah also he was smart but he didn't have any idea about real life. After this event, I realized we were going to the same shitty school. I was a troublesome child. Because I have to protect my brother and sister but he was a good boy. He bullied from other children. And one day I protected him from other children that wanted to rob him."

Erwin laughed again. 

" He said them I am the only one person who can rob him. Haha and, he turned me and said let's go and play some game."

You thought Erwin was getting drunk but an atmosphere was very good you didn't want to break it.

" He learnt me how to be a good man and I showed him how he can survive this fucking world, " said Levi.

Erwin continued.

" Since that time we are watching each other's back."

You had been very impressed by what you hear. Actually, you hadn't expected to hear something like this. Because of Levi... You didn't know, you had to be able to stop judging people because of their appearance. Sometimes people hadn't enough time or maybe bad things occurred at the same time. You thought It wasn't a measure of whether a person is good or bad. You felt sorry about Levi. You felt the claim for getting to know him better but it might be because of the wine, you wanted to keep your mouth shut but you couldn't.

" Why you helped to Erwin? I mean, you were strong, why you protected someone else?" you asked him. 

He thought a little then looked directly in your eyes. "Because I had no friend," he replied you. 

His blue eyes were getting darker and darker and you didn't stop staring them.

Then Hange brought you to the real world.

" That was an amazing night guys, but we have to work to do tomorrow. "

"Yeah, we should take away you go home."

You and Erwin sat in the back seat because you were all drunk. Hange was describing the way to Levi where he is sitting in the driver seat and somewhat you wished to be a little bit awake.

When you arrived at the apartment, you heard Hange's voice. She said " drive carefully. "

You could still feel the sound of your heart when you went into your room and laid yourself in bed. The only thing you thought that you wanted the see what's behind his cold blue eyes.


	3. Bad news

Today was Saturday also your work day. You really missed the days when the weekends only meant rest days. When you had left your hometown because of the university, you had been very excited to move to a big city. You hadn't thought about difficulties even one more time. Your new city was so big, it had great opportunities for students also people that wanted to work. On the other hand, it was so crowded also costly. Your life had been so tough until you had found your roommate Hange.

When you woke up, you felt a little headache because of the other night. You washed your face and stepped into the kitchen with shaking from sleep. You were surprised that Hange was already there.

"Hi, Hange do you have any painkillers?" you asked her.

Hange opened the fridge and gave you some painkillers.

"Thank you (Y/N) for last night. We had a lot of fun, didn't you?"

You took one slice of toasted bread and ate it.

"Yeah, I had enjoyed. I didn't expect to dinner would be so nice especially at the beginning."

"Is it because of Levi right ?" Hange asked with curiosity.

You took a glass of water and swallowed a painkiller.

"Yes, of course. I didn't tell you but last day he stole my cab. I was really tired and he just you know, also he was so impolite to me. I don't know, also he was rude to you too."

Hange giggled.

"No, he wasn't. Uhm actually I haven't time to tell you but Erwin warned me before. He said Levi really a good man but presumably, he may be forced to talk to us. Also, he added, he had a very cold physical appearance."

You felt a warmth on my cheeks.

"What is he studying about?" You asked as if you weren't dying to learn.

She put his finger under her chin and answered you.

" He is a classmate of Erwin also he said Levi's gonna begin to work laboratory. He looks like a hard-working guy."

You put the glass on the table. You didn't want to think about anymore. As you thought about last night and him, you wanted to think more and more but your head was supposed to be here right now so you got rid of these thoughts.

"I'm going to go cafe now and please Hange wash your dirty clothes today." 

She yelled behind me while you were moving into your room.

"Don't worry! I got this." she yelled.

~~~~~~~

When you arrived at the cafe, You saw the guy that has long blonde hair waiting in front of the door. That was Armin. He was a subclass of yours. He had seen the advertisement that you had put on the school board which is about waiter recruitment. He was such of humble guy also he had a unique intelligence. Sometimes you were studying together. You wanted to help him but mostly he was the one who helped you every time. You really liked spending time with Armin and learning new things from him. Although you didn't talk much about their private lives, you were just good friends. When you saw the blonde figure that sitting and reading a book in cold, you stepped up your steps. 

He smiled at you when you approached him.

"Good morning Armin. Did you wait too long?"

Of course, he said " No". You had been working here for three years. You were the most senior among the Mikasa and Armin. You were working here only on Tuesday, Thursday and Saturday. In the rest of the days, your other friends were working here. Their name was Reiner, Bertholt, Annie and Ymir. You saw each other some big meetings. You loved Reiner and Bertholt so much. Reiner had blonde short-shaved hair and built-in body and he always treated you like a brother. Also, Berthold that had a long length, gave you confidence with his calm looking. Reiner and Bertolt were childhood friends. On the other hand Reiner's sister, Annie was a very cold person but not like Levi. She had blonde hair just like her brother and she often looked down on the person that was facing and this was so irritating. Otherwise, Ymir that had brown hair and freckles was reminded you Hange but Ymir was more naughty. Also, she had a girlfriend whose name was Krista that sometimes baked cookies for you.  


You didn't want to keep Armin waiting any longer so you started the open the door in a hurry.  


Both of you went down to change your clothes.  


When you went up again, you saw your cook that name was Mike came. Mike had dark blonde hair and his hair fell on his forehead. He was really good at his job but when he was doing his job he always talked too much. He had lots of interesting stories that you didn't know how he dreams about this to tell everyone like titans in excess of human size, battles etc. and you thought he was the person who makes the best cake on earth. You said "good morning" to him. 

"Good morning (Y/N). We have some shortcomings in the kitchen. I made a list for you."

He gave the list to you.

"Okay Mike, I'm gonna handle this."

You looked at your watch. Mikasa was still not here. Then you looked at the Armin that was busy with arranging the tables.

"Hey, Armin let me finish this, I have a job for you." 

You handed him the list.

"Go and take these stuff. Oh, Mikasa is still not here. Do you know where she is?" you asked him with a curiosity.

" She didn't say me anything. She is not talking much nowadays."

You nodded and let him go.

When you started taking the dust off the table, Mikasa came in. You greeted him with your head but you didn't think she saw you so you went down after her. 

"Hi, Mikasa, Uhm... Are you okay?"

You saw a familiar expression in her gaze.

"I'm sorry (Y/N). I didn't want to be late today."

You were upset about that answer because of you just worried about her. You didn't want to be just co-worker with her, you really wanted to be good friends at the same time.

"No, it's not like that. I just worried about you. You seem tired and sad nowadays." 

She sighed.

"It's not an issue that concerns about you," she said coldly.

A cold wind slammed into your face...You just wanted to help her. Help her and your best friend Eren. Because you knew this ISSUE about him. You still haven't figured out why you were facing such reactions while you were trying to help and support people.

She put her name badge on her neck and she didn't wait for you to say something.

"Noone seems to care of my answer." Mumbling aloud.

When you went up again, you went to work without wasting time.

Time passed and when two people that you've never seen before came through the door, the clock had already passed by noon. A girl with red hair and braided hair on two sides with a handsome looking tall boy approached you instead of sitting at the table. 

" Hey hey. Can I ask something?". The girl started talking cheerfully.

" Of course how can I help you?" You replied to her.

" We are looking for someone that name is Mi... Oh look Farlan, there she is! " girl pointed your back.

 

You turned around and looked back. Mikasa startled her eyes to her guests and approached them. The girl jumped and hugged her, and the boy, you thought was his name was Farlan, he put his arms in his chest and looked at them with a smile. While Mikasa was trying to get rid of girl's arms, she delirious as " My sweet cousin.". You couldn't resist, and you laughed a little. 

" Isabel, Isabel stop. I am working right now, be quiet. You are annoying everyone." Mikasa yelled.

 

The girl that name was Isabel got a little upset and released her. Mikasa's cold posture seemed to have missed her enthusiasm. Mikasa put Isabel and Farlan on a table. They had a little chat and Mikasa turned her job again. They ordered some meals and desserts and sometimes talked with Mikasa again. While you were staring at the table, you saw the girl quickly regain her old cheer. Sometimes she chats with the calm-looking boy next to her, and sometimes she points to Mikasa. Then they finished their order and said goodbye to Mikasa in the evening, they paid the bill and left the cafe. Isabel was a cute ginger girl, she even waved at you. If it were only a few days ago you could ask who they were, but you weren't good with Mikasa right now.

Finally, when it's time to close, everybody had finished their works, but you've stayed to close the vault. 

You finished your job and locked the cafe's door so you saw someone sitting on the floor in outside. When you approached the figure, you saw Mikasa was sitting in cold. You sat her near and she looked at you. Her eyes were red and swollen from crying. You didn't ask her anything and just hug her. You could have been broken up against people, but if you really saw that person as your friend, you'd have to support him.

You didn't remember how long you both were sitting there. 

She just continued sobbing and crying.

" He broke up with me, he said me to he fell in love with someone else." Mikasa said.


	4. The girl who loves pink flowers

It's been a few weeks since that conversation that you made with Mikasa. You wanted to talk with Eren but exam week intervened and you couldn't see him properly. It's not right to disturb two people in situations like this, but you didn't want to see both of them upset. Maybe you could do something about this situation. Even though he said he definitely liked someone else, this couldn't finish like this. They had been together for almost two years. Also, you wondered the girl that Eren said he loves. 

But your exams were coming. You and Hange were studying without leaving the house. Sometimes you and Armin were studying after the work too.

You sometimes thought about Levi when the days passed like this. Hange said Erwin was dealing with his own exams too. So this means Levi had exams too. You wondered what he was doing right now but these thoughts were so lame. You shouldn't have thought that way about a person you hated just a moment ago. You made one more cup of coffee for yourself and you got your way to the room.

Tomorrow you got up early to got ready for your exam. Hange was still sleeping. You thought her exam should have been late. You made breakfast then left the home. The outside was cold again, but it wasn't freezing luckily.

~~~~~ Levi's Pov

When I left the home, I saw whether wasn't bad at all. I had an exam tomorrow. I should have been stayed at home and studied for an exam just like Erwin but I looked for a part-time job a few months ago and I started to work in one of the laboratories today.

Last night, when I put my step-brother Farlan and step-sister Isabel into the hotel and came home, it was dark. They were my step brother and sister but I hadn't seen them like this. They were my everything. Farlan didn't go a university, he was working in our hometown and Isabel stayed with him. She was preparing for an exam for university. That's why they came here. Isabel wanted to examine the universities closely. But I hadn't enough time to help them. I told them to call me when they really needed me. I didn't think they will stick to it though.

When I entered university, I wasn't sure I knew where to go. I've decided to ask someone the way but I also didn't want to talk to anyone. I was trying to read the inscription on the wall while I was looking at the address on my hand.  
It was so crowded in the hallway because of the exam week that I didn't even see the girl in front of me. I think I hit her really hard and I was a little mad at myself because I was stubborn about not asking the way from someone. While I was thinking about this without saying a word, the girl in front of me opened her eyes widely and then she started looking at me with angry eyes.

Wait a minute, Weren't that the girl who loves pink flowers?

 

~~~~~ Your Pov

When you stopped just a minute in the crowded hallway to put your notes in your bag, someone behind you hit you hard. He hit you so hard that you almost stuck on the floor. When you turned back your head, you've had a second shock. There he was! He was standing right in front of you with his black hair, his dull gaze, the thin and handsome face lines. While staring at him with astonishment, he looked at you as if he just had met his enemy and couldn't even apologise. That made you a little angry. When you saw a little softie in his eyes, you noticed that he knew you. He leaned towards you. You could feel his scent from this distance. It was strange that your cheeks were red in such a short time. 

He apologized for hitting you with a voice that you could barely hear. After he thought for a short time, he showed you the paper in his hand.

" Actually I'm looking for the address that writes here can you help me (Y/N)" 

You were surprised when you heard suddenly pronunciation of your name in his mouth. You took the paper from him. He had a beautiful handwriting.

"Usually, doctors don't have nice handwriting." You said and regretted the same minute.

He leaned towards you again.

"I couldn't understand."

He couldn't hear it from the crowd. You told him the location at the address carefully.

" I'd like to take you there myself, but I'm afraid I have to go to the exam now," you said.

He seemed stressful because of the students who passed through our right and our left.

" It's okay, thank you so much. " And he started to walk in the direction that you showed.

You looked a little more behind him until he disappeared when you went to where the exam would be.

~~~~~Levi's Pov

I'm sick of crowded...  
I easily found the place where I was going by following her description.  
Shit...  
I didn't even wish to have success in the exam to her.  
What was that now?  
I shook my head sideways, and I walked in and started my part-time business. I didn't expect much, but the lab manager seemed like a good guy. I had learned a lot of things in a short time.  
I had always been more interested in lab work. I prefer to work in this kind of place instead of getting into surgeries. When I was working closely with the works and trying to grasp things, the time had passed quickly. I turned to another lab employee.

"Do you know how much time exams are taking usually in this faculty?

The employee replied without much care. 

"The morning exams are supposed to be over now." 

I changed my clothes in a hurry and packed my purse. I signed up for the end of the heir and went out. I started to go back the way I came.

I saw her talking to a bunch of her friends right where I left her.

At that moment there was only a grin that I didn't know where it came from.

 

~~~~~ Your Pov

You totally had screwed up on the test. You were so depressed right now because this was your first exam. You had studied this exam most.

When you were talking to your friends about the test in a fiery way, there was suddenly silence. When you look at the way everyone looks, you didn't really expect that. He was standing behind you and he had a meaningless grin on his face.

" Are you hungry?" He asked suddenly.

You didn't know what to answer. God, he had really good looking and you were standing there with messy hair and sleepy eyes. Your body was working without your permission. You wanted to stop it but it didn't listen to you. So your head was nodded like approval.

You said to your friends " see you later" then you followed him. When you finally got out of school and came to a quieter place, he started talking.

" I never thanked you properly."

You really felt like you were going to fall.

"It's okay, We were both in a hurry this morning." You smiled at him.

"I thought we can sit somewhere nearby." He said by looking around.

You giggled a little bit. He didn't know any place here. He looked at you by narrowing eyes.

" What?"  
" Let me I'll take you somewhere, is it okay?"

He looked a little relieved and accepted. You took him to the place where you hooked up near the school. You loved this place because of the decoration. It was a structure that reminded you of the old times. They also made better chickens than your own cafe.

You both sat the table and reviewed the menu.

"They make their chickens really nice." You said.

He looked you as if you said a wrong thing but he closed the menu and put it aside.

"I'll listen to your suggestion then."

You ordered the food. You felt so excited. You told yourself this wasn't a date or something. He just wanted to pay back for your help. 

"How was it your exam?" he asked you.

Your cheeks got red and you bend your head like a child. He smiled at your this movement.

" I don't think it's that bad." He said.

"No, it's really messed up, and now I want to settle down and chill out." 

" I have an exam for tomorrow too. Wish me luck" 

" Your exams may be easier, don't be afraid. " You teased with him.

When the waiter brought your orders, you both almost were dying from hunger. You wanted to spend more time talking to him, but you didn't want to take his time because of his exam.

You asked him about his work in the lab. and you gave him some information about the professor that responsible for the lab and others. Then you talked about your study fields and interest.  
You're happy to have your conversation progressed this way. If you had talked about more personal things, you could have died from excitement. Even though you know very little about him, the figure who sat in front of you and looked to chickens as if they were aliens made you happy today.

~~~~ Levi's Pov

I couldn't stop myself from feeling a little sad when we finished eating. I liked listening to her talk.

"I'm gonna take back your home." 

Where were those words coming from? It just popped out of my mouth. The weather's not even darker. The girl with the brown wavy hair lifted her hands and shook it sideways.

" No, it's not necessary. I can go by myself. You have an exam tomorrow, you better start working for it."

I didn't want to leave her because I didn't know when to see her again, but she was right. 

She added. " Today I felt bad after the exam, really thank you for the meal, Levi." 

I just said, " nice to meet you" to her. What a stupid answer. She turned around and started to move forward.

" Wait, you didn't give me your number," I said.

What the hell?! There are very few people on my list. She turned around and looked at me with surprised eyes. Then placement of surprise left to smile in her face. 

She gave me her number.

I had got my head on the window on the way home and I brought her face back to my eyes. I didn't expect this strange feeling that I'd never felt before would bring me happiness.


	5. I know him very well

When you got home, it was so quiet. You found Hange in the depths of her room. When you realized she wasn't even eating, you offered to cook for her. On the one hand, you thought you should tell her what happened today but remembering what happened was causing you to blush. 

"Oh, (Y/N) How was your exam?" she asked you when she was watching you.

"It's totally messed up." You answered.

She looked at you with the surprised eyes.

"You don't seem too worn out. I was prepared to cheer you up if you had a bad exam." 

You giggled.

"Well, today, someone else did this for you."

Hange's gaping eyes opened more. 

" Come now!"

You were mixing the food in a frying pan with a spoon once in a while.

"I saw Levi at school today. I was on my way to class and Levi found a part-time job in our faculty. When we met in the hallway, he asked me to describe the location of the lab. So I helped him. Then I saw him waiting for me at the door when the noon exam was over. He said he couldn't thank me properly, so he wanted to take me to lunch. There was a place that we went to with you before, you loved their chickens remember? I took him there. We ate and talked, that's it." 

You put the food in the pan on the plate and handed it to her. You tried to tell her as straight as you could because you knew that you would start to get excited by a comment she was going to make and you didn't want that.

She started eating dinner. 

"I'm glad to see you're getting used to each other. I thought you were going to throw the stare of death each other forever." she laughed.

She didn't think the situation was weird. You were a little relieved. 

"What did you do today? Did your textbooks tell you the fun stuff?" You asked in a sarcastic tone.

" Yeah, We even went to the amusement park together." she giggled. 

When you were out of the kitchen, she suddenly shouted. 

"Before I forget, Eren came here today and asked you."

You were surprised. 

"Why would he come home and not even call me? Didn't he say anything?" 

" No, he didn't. When I said you weren't home, he said he'd try to reach you later, and he left ."

You were confused. You took off your phone and called him but no one answered the phone. 

" That's weird. He's not answering his phone. I hope nothing bad has happened to him ."

~~~~~ Eren's Pov 

I didn't know if I should ring a bell when I come to (Y/N)'s house. I thought she was at home because the exam was already over and I knew she didn't have work in the cafe today.  
Mikasa...  


I was so guilty.  


Interestingly, we met at the gym where we went with her. She could easily do what men were forced to do. She also had a beautiful body.  
But it was hard to get close and talk to her. Sometimes she looked at people like they weren't from this world. I didn't see them as a problem at the time and I still don't see. See her again at the café where my best friend (Y/N) works...  


I don't know what I thought about that moment.  


Do I regret it?  


I don't know.  


After all, I won her heart. It's like she's attracted to me for being a tough girl. She was a difficult person, and when she opened her heart to me, she was completely mine. I liked that feeling at first. To know that someone is only yours, you know but then it started to bore me. She always took care of me, interested me but she didn't need my help. After a while, she started to feel like I couldn't do anything without her. She acted as her duty to protect me. In fact, I couldn't see how valuable this love that she gave it to me. Maybe she was just trying to show me her love. That's why I kept yelling and screaming like a child. But she chose to endure all this.  


Tell me, Mikasa.  


How could you love someone who's always upset you and doesn't care about your feelings?  


I thought it was better to talk to (Y/N) face to face when I was in such a difficult situation. I was going to beg (Y/N) to pack me up.  


God, why do I always hope to help from someone else?  


I gathered my courage and I rang the bell. A few minutes later, someone called from the window. She was (Y/N)'s housemate. 

"Hello Hange! I was wondering if (Y/N) was at home." I yelled at her.

"I'm sorry she's not home now." she said.

I was a little panicked. I noticed my phone shaking in my pocket at the time. I told her I'd try to reach (Y/N) later, and I walked away. I took my phone out of my pocket and looked at the caller number.  


It was her.  


Annie...

~~~~~ Levi's Pov 

I got my phone to call Erwin after I got out of the exam. When I had my eyes on the number I recorded yesterday, I was hesitant. I wanted to call her and talk to her about my exam. I knew she'd listen to me. What the hell am I thinking about? I didn't need to talk to anyone. Especially with a girl who loves stupid pink flowers and delicious chickens.

I called Erwin and asked him where he was. When I found him, he was sitting the girl in our department. When I got closer to them, I remembered who the girl was. Her name was Petra. She was a little girl with light ginger hair. I've known her since the beginning of school. She was the first person I met when Erwin asked me to be a little more sociable. She was always a hardworking girl who did her job well.  
I don't know anything else about her.  
Frankly, I don't feel very comfortable when she's around. It bothered me that she was talking to me in a face that was always waiting for something, even though we didn't have a personal intimacy with each other.  
So I sat down with a little pout. 

"Hi, Levi! How are you?" she said.

" Fine, you?" I replied.

" I'm good thanks," she said cheerfully. 

Erwin had a little grin in his mouth. I put my hand on his shoulder so he won't annoy me any more. 

" What about you handsome?" I said.

"Actually, I was just about to leave. I'm gonna meet with Hange?" 

"Does she have an exam today? I asked him. 

"How do you know? Are you two seeing each other secretly?" Then he laughed a little.

"Nope, (Y/N) told me yesterday." I think I was a little surprised him. I had a little fun with this situation because he had a lot of questions in his head and he had no time to ask.

"Who's (Y/N)? " Petra asked with smiling. She was trying to join the conversation.

"When did you talk to her?" Erwin asked.

"You know, I have to go now. I'm gonna meet Farlan and Isabel. See you later Petra" 

When I left, I heard Erwin's voice behind me.

"Talk later shorty!"

~~~~~ Hange's Pov

We had dinner with Erwin to have some fun after we got off the exam today. We were stressed out about exams these days. First, we eat somewhere, then we get coffee and we come to the seaside. Even though it was cold, his presence was warming me up. I never thought I'd have a relationship with a man until two years ago. I met him a few years ago when I was whining about a new game at the café where my dear housemate (Y/N) worked.  
I didn't know I was whining so loud until he came to our side and asked me if it was a game that I was talking about. Then he lent me the new game that he bought, and that's how we started seeing each other. I didn't know how to deal with it when I had different feelings for him. Erwin never disappointed me. He showed me that falling in love is not just physical. To trust someone, to have fun with someone, to support someone, to tell your troubles to someone, to find a solution together was a part of love. That's why I feel warm when he's around.  
And I think he's very handsome but that's not the point.  
We sat down in a bank with coffees in our hands.

"Hey, Levi told me, (Y/N) and he talked yesterday." Erwin said.

I nodded. " Yep, They saw each other in school. "

Erwin continued.

" I've been trying to get Levi to be a little more sociable since I started a relationship with you, Hange. Actually, I even found someone for it. She's name is Petra and I think she likes Levi a little. She's a good girl, but for years, Levi hasn't even approached her. I never talked to Levi about this, though but when he spoke about (Y/N) today, Levi was different, Hange."

I was a little confused. 

" What do you mean by that?"

His gaze became more decisive.

"Maybe I'm wrong, but no. I know him. He started to feel something different about (Y/N). I don't know what exactly is it but there is something."

This reality really hit me hard. 

"Now that I think about it again, She was kind of exciting too but I don't know about Levi, Erwin. Maybe we're thinking a little hasty. Her heart can be broken quickly. I don't want her to be upset because of me." 

"Yes, I understand. We both think about our friends. I say we just prepare some atmosphere and let it flow. Nothing much!" 

His words seemed harmless. I didn't feel comfortable because I really don't know about Levi. Ultimately, there is a possibility in every relationship.

Erwin leaned over towards me and put a hot kiss on my lips.

"Don't worry, Hange, there's a possibility in every relationship." 

You smiled.

"How about you and Levi come to dinner when the exams are over?


	6. The night

You left two weeks behind. The bittersweet exam period was finally over. You were so busy in the period and the insects almost would occupy your house. Fortunately, all your exams were fine except for your first exam. To compensate for this exam, your teacher told you to work in the lab for two weeks. You'd be happy to do that. But you didn't see Eren once during the exam week. Mikasa also received permission from the café due to her illness. Instead of Mikasa, Reiner looked at her job for a short time. You felt so bad that you couldn't deal with the problems of the two of them. Eren didn't even look at his phone. Reiner interrupted your thoughts while you were drying glasses in your hands.

"Hey (Y/N), Look at here one second." 

You lifted your head and looked in the direction he showed. You immediately recognized the people who came. These are the people you thought were Mikasa's cousins before. Isabel and Farlan... You put the glass in your hand and approached them. 

"Hello, do you remember me?" Isabel said.

You nodded her.

" Me and my brother looking for Mikasa, but she's not answering her phone or opening her door to us. We thought maybe she is at work. Is she here?" 

"I'm sorry. I was actually starting to worry about her. She received permission from work due to her illness but she didn't say anything to us." You said to her. 

Isabel turned back to her brother Farlan and started to talk to him.

"Look what that mangy girl's doing. Do you think he hates us that much?" 

Farlan gave the Isabel a silent sign with his hand.

" Don't make too much noise. It's best to ask Levi for help. "

When you heard his name, you lifted your head. You haven't seen him since you've been eating together. Every time you came to school, your eyes were looking for him. You even thought about visiting him in the lab once, but you stopped yourself. You wonder if Farlan and Isabel could be his brother and sister that he was talking about before but he wasn't the only Levi on the Earth, of course. 

The girl turned to you in a cheerful way and she stared at your name card.

"We're going now Uhm... (Y/N)," she said.

"I hope you hear about her soon. " 

She looked at you with a smile and laid down towards the vault and put one of his little pink flowers in her hands behind your ear.

" I hope too," she said to you.

~~~~~ 

You got a few food things from the market, and when you came in a home, you saw Hange hadn't been home yet. You went to the bathroom to wash your hands.  
When you looked in the mirror, you saw the flower that Isabel gave it to you still standing behind your ear. You washed your hands and put the flower between the book pages. 

You heard the key when you were trying to cook. Hange came in with a bunch of weird tools and a bag of paper. You ran to her to get the things she held.

" Ah thank you. I would have died on the road until I brought these to here," she said. 

"What are all these stuff?" You asked her when you were carrying these to into her room.

"They are useless things about the school. Ah, nice smells are coming from the kitchen," she yelled.

Soon we started to eat together. As she talked about the complicated things she did at school today, you were trying to silence the voices in your head. She started shaking her hand right in front of your eyes. 

"I was just saying, how about we clean the house tomorrow?" 

You giggled.

"Where did you get this cleaning curiosity now?" 

She pinned her eyes to yours.

"I invited Erwin and Levi to dinner for tomorrow (Y/N)."

The fork in your hand fell on your plate. 

"Are you really telling me now?"

She put his arms on her chest. 

"So what? Don't you think I'm the one who should be excited? Why are you so anxious right now?" 

You blushed. She was trying the play games with you. You took your plate and put it on the kitchen counter.

"I'm not anxious. Let's clean up tomorrow." 

You added on your way to your room. 

" Wash the dishes! "

~~~~~

You woke up early in the morning and ran into Hange's room. You woke her up with shaking and you were pulling out her from her bed. 

"What the hell is going on, for God's sake. The crows haven't done their crap yet," she yelled.

" We got tons of work to do today. Be quick!" you yelled her too.

You worked like ants until you finished cleaning the house. You were out of power, but you had to prepare the meal for dinner. Hange threw herself in the chair. 

"I'm going to call Erwin and tell him not to come tonight," she said. 

"No! I mean no." your sound was heard higher than you expected. 

"I think we can handle with this." You said to her.

She laughed.

"You want to see him that much?" 

You turned back your head to her with red cheeks. 

"What the hell are you talking about? I'm working for you. No one marries someone who can't cook." 

You got up and started moving into the kitchen. She shouted after you.

"What did you say? Who wants to marry? Hah!"

~~~~~

They were going to be here soon. Here, where you live. It's weird, but you felt like you missed him. You didn't know how to behave.  
You didn't know why you were thinking about it in this way. It was just going to be a normal night.  
Friends came, ate together, had fun... Perfectly normal.  
With the bell ringing, your thoughts came back to this moment. You looked at Hange as you say what should you do now.

" Open the door, come on, " she said with a smile.

You could hear the footsteps of the stairs to your floor. First, the tall blonde figure appeared then short-sized cold figure from right behind him. You opened the door a little more. As soon as they walked in the door, your eyes met the blue eyes that you knew very well. Hange went and kissed Erwin, Levi approached you, and he gave you the package in his hand. 

"It's cake." He added.

You smiled at him. 

"How are you?"

His gaze became a little soft and he nodded you. You hug to Erwin and said "Welcome". Then you took the package to the kitchen and opened the package to put it in the fridge. It was a chocolate cake and there was only one ornament on it.  
A little pink flower...

~~~~~

You wanted to never end the day as the night progressed. You were talking to each other, asking about personal things. You all ate together, washed the dishes with singing, drank wine...  
Tonight was not a normal night, God this was an awesome night.

When the night went further, Erwin and Hange began to dance together. Levi had just left the room. He probably went to the bathroom.  
You saw him laughing a couple of times tonight. You shouldn't be surprised by him laugh so little because he had a really nice smile. You thought it would be nice if he gave that smile for only you. Meanwhile, they continued to dance in the middle of the living room. You didn't want to miss it, so you went to your room to get your camera. When you walked through the door, you opened your eyes with astonishment.  
Levi was sitting in your bed, examining your room. It didn't bother him when you walked in. 

"What are you doing here alone?"

"I was wondering about your room." He replied.

He had a little blush on his cheeks because of the wine. 

" Why did you come? " He asked you.

You giggled.

" It's my room, don't you remember?" You reached the camera on the table. 

He moved up and approached you. Suddenly your hands started shaking and you almost dropped the camera in your hand. Levi caught him before the camera fell and put it on the table again. I didn't know why he was doing this. You were so nervous, you put your body against the wall. He was so close, you could feel his body heat from this distance.  
Suddenly you felt his hand trying to pull your hair aside. You loved the touch of his hand. He held a flower that Isabel gave it to you today in his other hand. Then put it behind your ear.

Suddenly a phone started ringing. That was his phone. He looked the name on the phone and then looked at you and opened the phone. You were hearing the voice of a girl screaming from the other end of the phone.  
The more she talked, his eyes opened widely. Then he ran into the living room like the wind. 

"Erwin, Isabel called me now. My, my cousin... Oh, I don't know, she ... She attempted to commit suicide. I have to go."


	7. Is it the right time?

~~~~~ Eren's Pov

Yes, I cheated on Mikasa with Annie.  


Many times...  


I've hurt them by stalling them both.  


Annie didn't care, though. I'm not sure if you want to hear it, but I was in love with her this trait first. Mikasa had worked at the café three days a week. Other days Annie was working with her big brother and her two friends. Once a month, the whole team was meeting together.  


In one of those days, I saw her while I was waiting for Mikasa at the exit. They were coming out the door with her brother. Her brother was telling her something important. She buried her head in her scarf, looking around with her dull eyes.  


Her brother just yelled at him.  


" Hey, Annie do you hear the things I say?"  


She turned to his brother.  


" Yes, I am but I don't care."  


It was so funny, I couldn't help but laugh. Soon, the girl pierced me with her dull gaze. The other day, I saw her on a stand that introduced milk at school. Her looks and what she introduced was very opposite to each other. I couldn't help but laugh again. As if she was a smiling Manhunter, his eyes caught me right away. At that moment, I did something maybe I shouldn't have done. I approached her stand.

" Can I have milk too?"

She never took her eyes off me. 

" Fuck off." she said.

Days have passed and we have been again and again. She wasn't in love with me and she would never have. I was more passionate when I had sex with her. She didn't expect anything from me. Romance, interest, gifts nothing. What we're doing is if I try to describe it in some way, it's just a pleasure but I couldn't bear the conscientious burden of it. Annie thought I was weak. Now I was here, at the door of Mikasa's apartment. I came to finish this thing today. I couldn't believe, I was talking about our relationship with Mikasa as "this thing".  
When I told Mikasa I fell in love with someone else a few weeks ago, she told me that it was temporary and that she could wait for my enthusiasm to end. That minute, I really knew I didn't love her anymore.  
You couldn't keep waiting for someone to knew you wouldn't love you again, Mikasa.  
When I walked into the house with my key, the lights were off.

"Mikasa, are you home?" 

The answer didn't come. It was weird. It was too late. If she wasn't at home, where could she be?  
I slowly entered the bedroom in case she slept. She wasn't in her bed either. I took a deep breath, turned on the light and sat on her bed. I felt resentment in my inside because he wasn't home right now. Suddenly, I got my eye on the bathroom where was inside the room. The door was spared and the dark liquid that was floating under the door was conspicuous. I wondered, and when I looked inside the bathroom, I collapsed on my knees.

I called the ambulance first then I found her phone and I called the most missed caller number back. 

~~~~~ Levi's Pov

When I saw the caller number, I knew I had no choice but to open it. When I answered the phone, I heard the voice of my sister talking with crying. 

" Levi! We are in the hospital. Mikasa, Mikasa attempted to commit suicide. You have to come here now." she was sobbing.

I didn't understand what it was going on. I was so scared. although we weren't good with Mikasa, I felt responsible for her. Isabel always told me to take care of her because she needed a brother too. Unlike Isabel and Farlan, Mikasa was my only true relative. She looks so much like me and that was why we didn't get along with each other.  
When I explained the situation to Erwin, all the beauty of the night was gone. When we were preparing to go to the hospital, I heard a voice behind me.

"I'm coming too." The girl that I almost kissed her pink lips because I couldn't hold myself any longer was looking at me with anxious eyes.

" It would be better if you stayed home (Y/N)," Erwin replied.

Her eyes were full of tears. 

"She"s my colleague and she's my friend's girlfriend. Let me come with you."

"We're late. Let's go." I said. I didn't want to see her cry.

When the four of us got to the hospital, Farlan and Isabel looked terrible but a little away from them, an auburn boy looked worse than them. Isabel hugged me.

"She's in surgery now. She's lost a lot of blood."

While I and Isabel were hugging each other, (Y/N) went to the auburn boy who was sitting away. She sat on her knees and hugged him. The boy started sobbing and crying.

" It was my mistake, just me, only me! " He yelled like a child.

If all it was his fault, then why was she hugging him like that?

~~~~~ Your Pov

Time seemed to be stopped. It was like Mikasa would stay in surgery forever. Nobody came out and said anything. Eren couldn't take it anymore and despite your insistence, he wanted to leave. He didn't say anything to Levi and his brother and sister but Levi's eyes didn't leave him. You were afraid he'd do something to himself too that he promised you to he was going to call you tomorrow. Hange had already fallen asleep in your knee. You didn't think you could sleep until the good news came from Mikasa. Erwin had gone to get something to eat. Levi and Farlan were sitting right in front of you and Isabel was leaning on Levi's shoulder. You noticed that the flower that Levi put on behind your ear still in the same place. You took the flower. At that time, Levi gently put Isabel's head on Farlan's shoulder. He approached you and put the bag right under Hange's head.

" You want to get some air?" You nodded and followed him.

You and Levi went to a place like a terrace. You shivered because of the cold weather. He took off his jacket and put it on your shoulders. You realized you didn't want to give him back his jacket. You thoroughly buried inside of it.

"The influence of alcohol decreased." You teased him.

He looked at you by lifting his one eyebrow. 

" I wasn't drunk." He replied in a certain way.

" Why don't you get some sleep?" He asked you.

The fresh air opened your mind.

" I can't sleep without hearing something from Mikasa." 

" Who was that boy?" He was like waiting for you to answer him immediately.

" Should I say Mikasa's boyfriend or ex-boyfriend, I don't know." 

" No, I mean for you who was that boy?" He asked you.

" He is my classmate." You replied to him.

When we were talking, Erwin came to us with the coffees in his hands.

About an hour later, after a rough operation, Mikasa came out of surgery. It was one of the happiest moments of your life. Even so, you knew she wouldn' want to see you when she woke up. Her psychology probably was a mess right now.

Erwin and Hange decided to go because they didn't want to make crowded. Also, you joined them too. You also texted Eren about Mikasa's condition.

Levi shouted behind you while you were moving towards the door.

" (Y/N) do you have five minutes?" He asked me. 

You turned your head back and looked at Hange and Erwin. Hange shook her head in a positive sense. 

You had gone to a quieter place together. You wondered what you were going to talk about. He would probably thank you. 

Under his eyes, there were black rings from insomnia.

"I don't know how right it is to say it now. Plus I don't like to talk too much (Y/N) and normally I never listen to my heart's voice. But I swear to you, I wasn't drunk last night."

Before you know what's going on he made your face close to his own face with his cold fingers.

Levi put his warm lips which were completely different from his fingers, on your lips.


	8. Hold me tight

~~~~~ Levi's Pov

God, her lips were so beautiful.  
It was like I was stuck with them. I wanted to be gentle to her then I got my body closer to her. I wanted her to hug me just like she was hugging the auburn boy. I made an impulsive decision. I was jealous and I couldn't stand for waiting. I don't remember how long have we stay in that position but the hug that I was expecting never came. There was a rage inside of me. When I was kissing her at the same time I was screaming from my inside.

"Hug me please hug me. Why don't you react to me?" 

As I was melting with her feelings, I felt, I had to retreat now. Did I scare her? Does she disgust me? I didn't have the guts to look into her eyes. She never wanted to see me again. I wasn't supposed to do that. I turned around without doing anything and I left her there. 

I came to the place where Isabel and Farlan and we were going to be in Mikasa's room soon. I couldn't get over easily the effect of what just happened, but I didn't want to think about it right now. I didn't know what to say to Mikasa in a situation like this, though.

"Levi, Farlan I thought maybe it would be better if you didn't go in her room. Let me just talk to her alone," she said to us.

Even though I knew how bad Isabel was about talking, I was worse than her. I just shrugged.

"Don't screw up." Farlan said to Isabel.

"I'll find you later." then she left us.

We took something to eat and sat somewhere. We sat down for a little without talking after Farlan asked me.

"What's your relationship with the girl last night?" 

I didn't answer and I kept eating what I had.

"No, Levi. You have to express yourself orally this time." 

" What? Did you decide to be a psychologist?" He was still waiting for my answer.

"Well, I think she is throwing herself out of a somewhere now because I kissed her.

He laughed at me. 

"You didn't realize how different these feelings are for her, didn't you?"

You turned yourself to his side.

"What do you mean by that?"

"From what I see, she's a very shy girl. She probably sees everyone as her friend. If she felt something different to you, she tried to hide it. So she must be very puzzled right now. I can even tell you that you're the first person to kiss her from her body language." He explained to me.

" Wait a sec..."

"Yes I saw both of you okay? I couldn't miss my brother's first kiss"

"Tch... You are true bastard."

~~~~~Your Pov

When Erwin brought back you to the home, Hange laughed like she couldn't keep it in anymore.

"For God's sake (Y/N)! Why didn't you kiss him back?"

You were all red from shame. 

"Don't look at me like that! I couldn't miss my best friend's first kiss."

You sat next to her.

"Now I just had to think about Mikasa and Eren, Hange. But in addition to that, I think about Levi now. I'm very selfish!

" You're joking, right? Eren is a jerk. He wasn't enough to cheat on her also he ran to his girlfriend without waiting for her to wake up.  
And he couldn't even return your messages once. It's a mistake to even think about him. This kid's going to cause trouble someday. As for Mikasa, her family with her. You did everything you could for her. So, It's just time to think about your situation now." 

You were a little relieved. 

"I was so scared Hange. It was a beautiful moment I even couldn't imagine. The sound of my heart was so high that I couldn't move from focusing on them. I wanted to hug him as much as I didn't want to hug anyone. But he pulled back yourself maybe he regretted it?" 

" Yes, he regretted it but it is not the way you think. Because he thought you don't want him. "

"I want him!" You yelled with embarrassment.

She laughed at you.

"I know, I know. And you have to let him know too." 

Then she got up and moved into her room. You decided to go to bed after you sat down little more because there was a school tomorrow.

~~~~~  
When you went to school this morning, everything seemed a little normal. That's why you concentrate on classes more easily. As you mentioned earlier you were going to work at the lab to compensate for your exam, so you went to the professor. Your lab was very close to Levi's lab. You wanted to visit him today because of what Hange said. You didn't know when he was in the lab, but you wanted to see him when he doing his job. A beautiful girl with short light red hair asked you an address as you were on the way to Levi's lab at lunchtime. 

"Look at the luck! Actually, I'm just going to go there. We can go together." you said to the girl.

When you were moving towards the lab, you talked about yourselves. She came to see a friend. She wanted to take him to lunch. While you were chatting, you finally arrived. 

"This is where you're looking for." You said.

"Thank you so much (Y/N). Nice to meet you again." said to you and she entered inside. 

You took a few breaths to prepare yourself a little, and two minutes later, you went in too. You asked the clerk at the door where Levi's desk was. When you approached his desk, you saw he was in conversation with the girl who had already entered before you. You wanted to go back, but it hurt your heart to see them like that. Your feet continued to move forward. A few steps later, Levi's eyes are locked on you. He seemed a little surprised. He asked for her permission from the girl called Petra and he approached you. He stood in front of you without saying anything. You suddenly felt jealousy inside of you and you remembered the words of Hange. "It's just time to think about your situation NOW."

"Go out to lunch with me." you said to him. Petra was looking at you but luckily she couldn't hear what you were talking. Levi's frown eyebrows are replaced by a soft expression in his face. 

"I've got about a half-hour's work. Where will you wait for me?" He asked me.

"I'll be in the library call me when you're done. Uhmm...Levi?" You stopped him when he was about to leave.

He looked at you with the questioning eyes.

"Be Alone." 

Yes, you finally did.  
You would have let him know as Hange said.  
He walked away with a little grin on his face. While you were heading towards the library, you were just thinking about what just happens five minutes ago in your mind again. You were proud of yourself for a moment then your cheeks were red again.

You thought about studying while you were waiting for him, but you never concentrated. The things that you couldn't identify in your stomach were flying. 

You just started looking at your phone. You looked at Instagram, but there was nothing to interest you for a long time. You suddenly think that whether Levi and Erwin had accounts? You wrote Levi's name on the search button. He didn't have an account, you weren't surprised. This time, you searched for Erwin. Here it is. He had an account. You followed him and looked at his photos. He had a few pictures with Hange. You liked them. You got a message on your phone while you were stalking Erwin. It was a number you didn't know. 

"I'm waiting at the library door and I am all alone..."

God, that was Levi's number. You added his name on your phone. You packed your things and went out. You didn't see him yet, so you pulled your phone back. 

" Tch... I really liked those chickens. " said somebody behind you. You smiled at him but he took his eyes off you.

"You better order lunch this time because I turned down my friend's offer because of you." He said when you were walking. 

" If your idea changed, you have time to reconsider my offer."

He smiled secretly. 

"I prefer free food to anything." 

~~~~~

You came back to the same café again for Levi's request. He ordered the same thing but this time you just wanted to eat pasta. You asked him about Mikasa. 

"After you left, Isabel went into his room to talk to her. By the way, Isabel is my sister and Farlan is my brother that I told you before. We didn't want to bother her. She's staying at the hospital, and Isabel with her. They keep her in the hospital because she's lost too much blood but I think she'll be out in a few days. According to Isabel, she was like she was pretending that it never happened. She's not talking about it, but Isabel still sure she won't try it again." 

I was happy when I heard that. I wanted her to be healthy right away. 

"Mikasa is my colleague. You know how hard it is to approach her. Thanks to Eren, I've contacted her a little but I can't say we're very intimate. She was too addicted to Eren." 

"What about you? You're addicted to him, too?" He asked.

" What are you talking about? He's my friend. I always try to protect my friends. "

Levi continued to eat quietly. 

"What about you? Are you addicted to the girl with red hair ?" You were wondering who that girl was for him. 

"I kissed you. Not her." He said to you. He was so straightforward. This made your cheeks red again. 

 

You kept talking about random things until you finished your dinner and went out. You loved talking to him. He was a listener with infinite patience. Nevertheless, If he didn't show that he was enjoying it, you wouldn't talk so much. 

 

"Can I take you home this time? He asked you.

You nodded him quickly.  
It was a little dark when you reached the street of the house. You were upset about leaving him when you got home, but you wanted to tell Hange what happened today.

Sadly, It was time to finally say goodbye. You knew what would come next but this time you were prepared. 

You looked at the blue-eyed man standing in front of you. You wanted to look at these eyes forever. This time you approached him. 

When your lips were coupled, you held him tight this time.


	9. Captain America or Iron Man ?

~~~~~ Levi's Pov

 

Maybe for the first time in my life, I was happy. I never thought before, I'd need love to be happy or a woman...  


Spending time with her, listening to her, talking to her, making her laugh, getting to know her better everything was giving me happiness. That's probably because I was doing these activities with her.  


My whole life has passed in the fight. After my mother died when I was a little, my uncle adopted me. Farlan and Isabel were children of my uncle's dead wife. We were staying with my uncle and there was no time he wasn't drunk. He wouldn't hurt me because I was the only one winning money but when he saw Farlan and Isabel at home, he would have hurt them. At that age, we dreamed of living together in a house of our own, far from here, looking at the sky. One night I left the house to go where I work part-time. When I came home again, my uncle called Kenny was about to kill Isabel and Farlan and in another corner, a stranger was already dead. If I hadn't gotten Keny out of them that day, If I was defeated in that fight, then Isabel and Farlan would be dead. After that, Kenny went to jail because he killed the person who came to ask him to repay his debt. The last thing I remember about him was threats to Isabel and Farlan in court. I have no idea which prison he is rotting in right now. We lived in a place where the crime rate was too high, and there was nothing different from the outside. People continued to live. We didn't even have a place to stay. It was hard to work and study at the same time. But my brother and sister were here with me. Even though it was a terrible life, we established this life together. Starting from the beginning, we did it all by ourselves by one by. Nonetheless, that girl's breath was giving me the kind of love I never had.

(Y/N) had brown wavy hair and big round hazel eyes. There was warmth in her eyes, unlike mine. She had a sporty body. She didn't like to dress very seriously, she wore it the way she felt comfortable. She gets excited very quickly, she talks fast, her cheeks would be red immediately. When she smiled, she laughed with her whole face. Her hair always smelled good and you could feel the warmth in her touch.  
This was what it's like falling in love.  
When I felt these for her, I still stood like a cold wall. I don't know if I can be a good man for her but I was going to try it for her. 

She was working at the lab right next to us for two weeks because of her bad exam. Some of the big machines that we used in our work were common, so I had the opportunity to see her. She was so excited when she saw me, but she didn't want to reveal anything so she was always making mistakes.  
I must admit, she looked so sweet. Unfortunately, the work hours of both of us didn't always fit. In fact, due to we both work and study, we could hardly see each other. I just trying to get used to my new life.

Mikasa was already out of the hospital. She seemed perfectly normal when we went to pick her up with Farlan. She didn't want to go to her house so she was staying with Farlan and Isabel right now. Isabel took care of Mikasa as a sister and even wanted to take Mikasa on her own house, but she didn't tell this idea to her yet. Maybe she was tired of living with two brothers.

Mikasa was the only relative I knew was alive. I didn't know my own mom and dad so I hadn't known her. When Mikasa was a kid, she and her family had lived somewhere far away from where we used to live. In the eyes of Mikasa, his mother and father were murdered. One of the neighbours rescued her before the killer killed her. I didn't know any more details. When they found me as the only remaining relative, I saw her for the first time. I was only twenty-one years old and I was not eligible to take custody of a sixteen-year-old girl. She had said to me " Don't leave me." but that's what the law said. That's why she stayed in the foster home until she came of age also that's why we were not good with her.

I was wondering if (Y/N) was there when I went to check the other samples in the lab. Maybe we could do something when work was over.  
When I walked in, she was too busy watching other student's experiment.

When I heard something fall, I realized that she noticed me. 

 

~~~~~ Your Pov

While trying to understand the experiment your friend was building, you heard whispers of the girls next to you.

"Look, it's him again." said one of the girls.

"He's very charismatic even when he's doing this work. I wonder if he's dating anyone."

 

You turned your head that way. Bam! Levi was here. Why were you so anxious to be around him?

" You're not a professional (Y/N)! " You said to yourself. 

When you tried to move back a little, you didn't see the stool behind you and you almost fell down. You apologized for disrupting the seriousness of the environment also Levi heard the noise too. You followed him until he was finished his work plus you couldn't keep your eyes off him. You thought, maybe it was not a good idea to work closely with him. 

 

When he finished his job, he came out of the lab without even looking at you once. Fortunately, one of you was a professional but five minutes later, he came back to pick up the Petri cups. He's got enough to fit in his hands then, he approached you. 

"I'm sorry I interrupted you. I was wondering if you could help me to carry the rest of the containers." He said with a smirk.

You tried to hold yourself, and then you took the rest of the Petri cups and started following him. Was he trying to create time to see you? 

"Hey, why are you walking in the back I want to see your face." 

You looked at him. His eyebrows frowned so you couldn't help but laughed. Your relationship was new, so you still couldn't tell him your true feelings.

"Are you busy tonight?" You asked him.

He was pretending to think a little.

"Yeah, I am busy."

You were a little upset. However, if you wondered what he was busy with, you went through the lab before you didn't have a chance to ask. You put your stuff in your hands where he pointed, and you turned around to leave. Suddenly he grabbed you by the wrist and turned you into himself. 

"You didn't ask what I'd be busy with. Don't you care about me?" 

You showed displeasure and shrugged.

"I thought, I could go to the cinema with my girlfriend." He said to you. 

~~~~~

When you went to the garden to wait for Levi, you saw Jean and Armin. you didn't know these two met, but you went to them anyway. Two of them were in a heated manner arguing about computer software. 

"Hey, what are you guys doing?" Armin sincerely hugged me.

"We stayed for a program after school. We're on meal break right now. Do you want to come with us?" Armin asked you.

"Sorry, I promised my friend earlier. Enjoy your meal." You turned to Jean.

" Jean, Are you seeing Eren? " You asked him.

" He asked me for notes I kept in school twice. That's why we met. Mikasa's case must have affected him a lot. "

"Do you know when will he start to come to the school?" 

"I'm sorry, I don't know." He replied to you.

He probably didn't answer you because he didn't have the guts to look at your face. However, you knew he was in a bad situation and you felt he needed help. You thanked them then left. Levi didn't keep you waiting too long.  
When he approached you, he grabbed your waist and gave you a long kiss. 

" Well well, did someone miss me? " You asked him playfully.

The expression of his face became serious. 

" Don't play with me, little girl." He replied briefly and held your hand. 

You chose to walk because the weather was beautiful. You were incredibly happy to walk with him in the street with holding hands. Your happiness was reflected in your speech too. Levi suddenly started laughing. 

"Why are you laughing now?" 

He put one hand on your shoulder and brought you closer to himself.

"You sound like you're twittering." 

You were starting to laugh at his this word. Since you're so hungry, you ate something, and then you went to the cinema hall. You discussed a lot about getting into the new superhero movie or the romantic comedy movie. He offered to buy you a big size popcorn, and he won the debate you entered the superhero movie. 

The film was not boring, but rather exciting. When you got out of the movie, you had another hard argument about who was right in the movie. While you were definitely defending the right of Iron Man, Levi was holding Captain America's side. 

You never even noticed when you were in front of your house. 

The weather was pretty dark. Even though it was winter, you could feel the warm air in your skin. 

"I'll be at the café tomorrow." You said to him.

He nodded you and he leaned towards you. Right at that moment, you heard a sound from the window above. You raised your head and looked in the direction the sound came from. 

" Oi, Hey, Levi, why did you bring this girl so late? You forgot us when you were lovers, you little bastards! " Hange yelled to you.

You both laughed loudly.


	10. Happy birthday, my love

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The song that plays in this section: Davichi-it's alright, it's love

" I can't believe you're dating with him"

That's the first word that Mikasa said when she started coming to work. You missed her so much, so you hugged her without caring what she said. Mikasa seemed to be really better as if she changed. You were happy to see her like this. She told you about the proposal from Isabel but she refused the offer. She had decided to start her life from the beginning in here.

When Levi was at school, he often began to come here with Erwin. You loved him to come out here all of a sudden and watched you while you were doing your job.

Also, today was his birthday. December 25...

You wondered what kind of kid was he when he was a little. You wished you had a picture of him. Maybe you could ask Isabel one day. When you were lost in your thoughts, the noisy group came in. When you looked carefully, the girl called Petra was trying to pull Levi out of his arm and try to shove him through the door and then Erwin was coming in front of them. You suddenly felt that your nerves would get a little tenser. You stopped Mikasa when she was about to look at their table and you approached them to get their orders. Levi was staring at you without saying anything.

" (Y/N), I'm glad to see you! How are you?" Erwin asked you.

"I'm fine thanks, Erwin." You replied to him and put the menu on their front.

" You were Levi's friend, remember me? What a coincidence to meet here again ." The girl said cheerfully.

"Yes, Petra. How are you?" You asked her.

"I'm fine, thanks. Today is Levi's birthday I want to have a little celebration for him. Can I see your dessert menu?" she asked me.

Erwin was closing his mouth with his hand not to laugh.

"Petra, thank you but, I don't want anything from you." Levi didn't like tension.

" Why? Or are you going to another celebration tonight?" she insisted on asking him.

"Yes, actually, we were going to have a celebration tonight," Erwin replied.

First, you looked at Erwin in a nervous way but then, you understood why he did this. He was going to end this today.

As Levi was confused, he first looked at Erwin after looked at you. Then he pinned his gaze to your eyes.

"Is there a celebration tonight?" asked you.

"I don't know sorry. I'm staying at my friend's home tonight." You replied to him.

"What does that mean, now?" He frowned.

" Guys, guys. We're here to eat cake do you remember?" Petra said.

You put the dessert menu on their table and left. Armin was interested in the rest of their requests. Actually, you didn't have anything to be mad about. Looks like, Petra liked Levi. However, Levi was with you and it was your decision not to mention your relationship to people who are not very close. You weren't ready to be like Hange and Erwin yet. When you looked at their desk, Levi was just looking at you, like he wanted to understand what you were thinking. You'd probably think it was scary if someone else did this stupid eye-stitching move on you, but when he did this, you felt just a trust. Still, you were just a girl and a little bit of simplicity wouldn't hurt so you went to the kitchen to help Mike also to live your jealousy. They were already gone when you returned to the vault. Now, the rest was just preparing for the evening.

~~~~~

Hange was about to leave the house. One last time she turned to you.

" Don't get excited. You can do this. Tonight will be unforgettable."

You smiled.

"Hange, thank you. There was no love in my life until the last few months. I wouldn't be so happy if you hadn't encouraged me. Even if this doesn't end well, you've made me feel the feelings I've never felt in my life."

Hange pulled out his glasses and yelled at you.

"Do you know how much time I spent making this makeup?

~~~~~ Levi's Pov

When Erwin went into my room without knocking, I was lying in bed and reading my book.

" God, you're still not ready. We'll be out in a minute, you know." He opened up my wardrobe and pulled out a white shirt.

"I'm not coming to Erwin."

"Nonsense, we'll be there for you. Is that why you're doing this because (Y/N) can't come." He asked me as if he hadn't known the answer already.

" Of course, that's why. I wanted to celebrate my birthday with her but I just upset her. She's not even answering my calls."

" Come on Levi! You don't even care about birthdays. She's not answering your calls because she's got a job. She is with her friend, don't you remember? Also, she isn't upset. (Y/N) is smart enough to realize that there's nothing to be misunderstood about." Erwin explained.

That was so ridiculous.

"Plus, sometimes couples should be able to do different things. If you get out of your bed now, you can ask Hange whether she's mad at you. Trust me, this night is gonna be unforgettable."

I just got up and dressed so Erwin wouldn't come and scape me off my bed. It was no use being stubborn with him.

We picked up Hange before picked up Petra. I took my head out the window and looked up to their apartment. I had been looking for something of hers. When we set out again, I asked Hange.

"Oi Hange, did (Y/N) go to his friend? Who is this friend?"

" Nope, but she was about to leave. Ah, her friend name is Sasha by the way," she explained to me.

" If she was about to leave, why didn't she come with us?" I didn't like the whole thing. I just thought I'd get out of the car and go to her.

" Because she was mad at you and she didn't want to see your face," she said to me.

Erwin started laughing. I turned my head to the back seat and I wanted to make sure she wasn't joking. No way, she wasn't joking. The only thing that I thought, I had to reach out to her somehow.

Erwin and Hange booked a nice place. Our place was so close to the stage. I thought if they play nice music, I could survive tonight. Petra was trying to get me into a conversation like it was important but luckily, everyone was in a good mood.

The night had progressed a little. Our meals came to the table. Live performance had begun. Hange and Erwin were already in the music. God, I missed (Y/N) so much. When I picked up my phone to text her again, the presenter started to say something about the microphone.

" Ladies and gentlemen, we have a guest today who will accompany us for one song. Let me call her on stage now."

I wasn't interested in the person on the stage, I just wanted to (Y/N) to answer my message right now. When I heard the sound from the stage wishing to everyone "good night", I immediately lifted my head.

That was her. She came and was right behind the microphone. At that time, a cake came to our table and there was a note on it.

" Before the clock strikes twelve let me take the opportunity to let you know that you have grown a year more. Happy birthday, my love."

I smiled and by the way, the song started.

~~~~~

 _Can you see what's in my heart?_  
_Why is it, love?_  
_The love I promised never to feel again_  
_What a fool I am_  
_Why am I happy?_  
_I keep seeing your face_  
_Just be by my side, forever_

 _You came to me with the wind like the blowing flowers_  
_I love you who knocked on my heart_  
_My heart aches just looking at you_  
_But it's alright, it's love_  
_My heart that's not enough, me and my love_  
_Could you take me in?_

 _Why are you laughing looking into my eyes?_  
_Embrace these jitters_ , _hold me tight_

 _You came to me with the wind like the blowing flowers_  
_I love you who knocked on my heart_  
_My heart aches just looking at you_  
_But it's alright, it's love_  
_My heart that's not enough, me and my love_  
_Could you take me in?_  
_Love me, the way I am._

_I love you._

~~~~~

She was just calling me from all over the crowd, and I wasn't aware of anything but her. When I noticed a temperature dripping in my face, I didn't want to sit in my seat anymore. I just ran towards her. For the first time in my life, my heart hurt so much. I took her between my arms and I hugged her. I didn't hear or see anything but her. I took the face of this girl who looked at me with her tears and her pink cheeks between my palms.

" Why are you doing this to me?" I asked her.

One of her tears fell on her cheek.

"You... don't like that?" she asked me this time.

"No, I mean why am I falling in love with you every second?"

One of her tears fell on her cheek again.

Then I kissed her. I kissed her lips, eyes, forehead, all over but most of her lips.

I wanted to get out of here. I wanted to kiss her more. I didn't even know what I was doing. When I got a little bit myself, I found myself sitting in the sand on the seaside with her.

Erwin was right, this was an unforgettable night.


	11. What do you want from the new year?

You wanted to eat something after you sat down at the seaside because both of you hadn't eaten anything for hours. Although you had more appetite because of the rush. You sat in the first place you saw open at that time.

"Cat or dog?" You asked him when you were eating.

" Dog." He replied.

"Summer or winter?"

"Winter."

"Morning or evening?" 

"Evening, Don't talk with your mouth full." He said to you.

" Instagram or Snapchat?"

" None of them."

"You have to choose one of them!"

"Okay, Instagram because you are using it. Keep going."

"Pink or black?"

"That's not a question."

" Why, this is my question." You yelled.

" Pink is a stupid colour. Admit it, you have a stupid taste. "

You soured.

"Pizza or hamburger?"

"Chicken."

" Levi! " You shouted him and he laughed at you.

"Normal book or e-book"

" I want to show you my bookshelf one day. "

"Hmm. True love or lottery money? 

" Money."

"So it is?"

"I've already found true love." You sounded like you're vomiting. 

"Baby boy or baby girl?"

" I wanna four children." He laughed at you again. 

He was laughing too much tonight, that's a little annoying. 

" The walking dead or fear the walking dead?"

" Of course the walking dead."

"Anime or manga?"

"Manga for sure."

"Chocalate or ice-cream?"

" You." He laughed again.

" Come on, don't do this stupid thing again!" You took one more bite.

" Being married or being a lover?"

"Both." 

"You're so terrible at this game Ackerman!" 

When you finally got home you felt so tired. You looked in Hange's room and you saw that she was already asleep. You went into your room without making any noise, and you grabbed Levi's jacket on your shoulders. You got it close to your nose and you smelled it. You brought the things he told you back to your mind. You felt the warmth of his lips again. You felt his passion again. You hugged his jacket more and then you fell asleep too.

~~~~~

Today was December,31.

It's a little funny, but it's the only day you've been looking forward to all year.  
New Year's weeks, New Year's Eve, in short everything in the New Year's theme makes you excited and happy. It's like you were feeling like everyone was happy on New Year's Eve. When you saw the people going out of their works and going to a home or different places with packages in their hand, you felt so happy. It's probably because you used to celebrate this day in your family in a nice way. When you were a little girl, it was a New Year's Eve again but you didn't know why you slept too early. When you opened your eyes again without 12 o'clock, you saw a huge, adorned and shimmering Christmas tree in the hall. Even though you were born in the spring months, you always felt like a New Year's Eve kid.

Tonight you planned to spend a nice, quiet night together in your and Hange's house because It could be a little dangerous to go out tonight.  
We barely persuaded Levi to celebrate tonight and he wouldn't have accepted a plan outside, though. A few days ago, you made a list of things about what you needed with Hange, and you split it between the two of you. Hange had left you with the ingredients to decorate the Christmas tree because you loved Christmas decorations. 

It was a snowy day. Light snowflakes plummeting from the air into your face. They were melting with the warmth of your cheeks. You put your hands in the air and started playing with some more snowflakes, and then you buried your head in your pink scarf. It didn't take you long to see the figure waiting for you with snowflakes in your black hair when you came out of the schoolyard. Suddenly he turned around and his eyes began to open wide as you approached. 

"Did you wait too long?" You asked him but he didn't answer you. At that moment a wind blew and you buried your head in your scarf more. He pulled his hands out of his pockets, and yet he lowered your scarf slightly down with his fingers that still cold. He touched your lips with his fingers. Then he leaned towards you and gave you a wet kiss. You had to get used to these moments but your heart was still beating like it was the first time. Then he pulled back and remade your scarf back. Then he grabbed your hand and asked for it as if nothing had happened before the palpitations of your heart came back. 

"Do you want to get something to eat first or start shopping directly?" 

~~~~~Levi's Pov 

I liked to surprise her, speed up her heart, play with her like that because I actually thought she was cute when she tried to be mad at me and pretend she wasn't mad at me.

"I want to eat dinner at home, let's shop directly," she said.

At her request, we went on a shopping spree directly. It was so crowded, everyone was shopping for the evening. (Y/N) suddenly left my hand and started running into the big Christmas tree that was adorned. Sometimes she looks back at me and he's pointing the tree at me. I couldn't hold back from smiling. Her excitement wrapped me up. In fact, I didn't celebrate Christmas nights until today because I had no reason to celebrate, but now the reason was waving at me in front of a fancy big Christmas tree. I got my phone out of my pocket, and I took pictures of her before she noticed. I was surprised at myself because I didn't have a single photo on my phone.

" Hey, (Y/N) stop being such a kid and let's do some shopping. We'll be late. " 

First, she was a little grumpy and then she ran into my arms. Shopping took longer than I thought. Waiting for a row in the vault, picking one of the varieties aside, (Y/N) stood by every strange thing and examined them, even experimented on herself. She was always running left and right, and sometimes I was struggling to catch her, and I was afraid I was going to overlook her. Still, I couldn't get myself to take pictures of her cheerful moods. While she was hanging the Christmas tree decorations around her neck, trying to figure out which candle smelled better and trying Santa Claus hats, I took pictures of her repeatedly. At the end of the shop, she shouted in a bored way. 

" God, I'm so tired! " 

"You've been in the store for about an hour and a half, and you probably lost two pounds," I said her with teasing.

Hange and Erwin were already here when we entered the house with the pockets in our hands. Erwin was busy organizing the Christmas tree, and I was helping him, and Hange and (Y/N) was in the kitchen. While we were seriously dealing with organizing the tree with Erwin, sometimes I heard their jokes.

"Isn't that funny? Even in love, our paths don't leave." Erwin said to me.

"I'm not gonna put "Erwin " in my kid's name, dickhead. Don't get yourself a piece of this, please." Erwin laughed at me.  
No matter what I told him, he wouldn't misunderstand me. He would have understood the things that lay beneath my sentences. In the depths of my heart, he knew how much it meant to me.

"Actually, I was going to ask you to put " Erwin Jr.". Then he laughed once more. 

Suddenly, our conversation was interrupted by screams from the kitchen. We rushed into the kitchen in a panic. When we entered the kitchen, I saw the fountain burst and the water sprinted, and the water flowing under the kitchen counter.

"Did anything happen to any of you? Erwin, go down and close the water from the valve." I said.

I approached the (Y/N) who tried to keep water with the towel in her hands, and I took the towel away from her. Now we're both soaking wet.  
When the water slowly stopped, the carpets, the floors, the bench, everything was ruined. Hange suddenly started laughing. 

"Happy new years, guys!"

(Y/N) collapsed on her knees, all her clothes soaked. 

"Get up. You're gonna get a cold." I grabbed her from her arm and lifted her.

"What are we going to do now?" Erwin came and asked.

"Let's change our clothes first, then try to fix the exploding pipe. We'll clean up later. We'll call a plumber tomorrow." 

Then I grabbed her and took her to her room and closed the door.

"I don't have any men's clothes in my wardrobe, but one of my wide T-shirts and wide shorts can fit you," she said to me.

"Are you upset?" I asked her.

"No, not even" she replied.

Liar. She thought it was going to be like this all year. She pulled a black T-shirt out of her closets and a black short then gave it to me. 

"You put these on, and I'll get a towel." I grabbed her from the wrist before she left.

"Change your clothes first." she was staring at me with the surprised eyes.

"No, I can't change it with you." Her cheeks were getting pink. 

I grabbed her from her waist and I got close to her and I got her t-shirt off. Her face was crimson. I reached out and handed her a t-shirt from her wardrobe. 

"My underwear is wet too," she said to me with embarrassment.

"You want me to remove your bra too?" I asked her with the grin.

"You stay here. I'll get dressed in the bathroom," she said to me with her tomato face. I caught her on her wrist again. 

" Okay, I'm going. " I winked at her. 

~~~~~

When I came back to the kitchen, Erwin found a tool bag but instead him, Hange was staring down the pipe. While we were dealing with the exploding pipe and the faucet with Hange, Erwin and Y/N gathered carpets, cleaned up the mess. It was too late to make the rest of the food that we finished our work. We were all sitting in fatigue and hunger stacked on the couch. 

"I'm ordering pizza," Erwin said.

We all took a deep breath like we were waiting for this. 

~~~~~

It was seconds before the clock was twelve. No matter how tired we were today, everyone was in a good mood and everyone was with people they loved. I was holding her hand with my hand, and her waist with my other hand, and wishing all the rest of my years would go like this. When it was 12 o'clock she turned to me and looked me in the eyes. 

"Happy New Year, baby," she whispered to me. 

I couldn't help myself and I kissed her again then I hugged Erwin and Hange. My phone rang at the time. That was my sister Isabel. I was glad to hear her voice, and I wished the good years to Farlan and Mikasa too. When I turned off and I turned around and Y/N was staring at me with a package with her hand.

" I hope you like it," she said to me. 

I got the package with a smile and started to open it. It was a book that name was "Red and the Black" and a pair of black gloves. 

"I know you love books, and I know your fingers are so cold, so I couldn't choose between the two of them," she said.

I gave her a big hug. I wanted to put her inside of me. Did she have to think of everything in detail? 

" Thank you (Y/N), I'm going to read this book right now and my fingers won't get cold again promise." she smiled at me. 

So I took the little box under the Christmas tree and handed it to her. He shook a little to figure out what it was and then opened the box. First, he was surprised, then she looked at me with smiling and handed me the necklace with a little flower on the end.

"Help me put it on my neck. I'll never get it out again." 

I pulled his hair over and I wore the necklace. He looked at me again after his necklace and gave me a long kiss. Then we all gave each other our presents. Another interesting gift to (Y/N) was from Erwin. Erwin made a DVD. So we sat together to watch it. The DVD was for my birthday. He recorded everything from his entrance into my room until the moment I kissed (Y/N) on stage. He recorded every single thing. When I was about to die of shame, everyone was laughing.

"What happeden to Petra?" (Y/N) asked.

"She was a little upset and surprised, of course, but she tried not to show anything and she said she was happy for you. Then we left her home. She is a good girl" Hange explained. 

Until bedtime, they rewatched DVD and talk about the details, and they made jokes. I was feeling happy, but very tired. (Y/N) lifted from under my arm.

"Let's make the beds for Levi and Erwin, Hange," she said.

" What beds?" Hange asked (Y/N).

"Levi won't sleep next to me, so Erwin has to sleep here with him so he won't be alone," she explained to her.

" I won't sleep with you? " I asked her. Erwin laughed.

"Okay, whatever you're comfortable with." He said.

Half an hour later, everyone fell into bed to sleep. I looked at the photos I took today on my phone one last time before I went to bed. Then I yelled at Erwin by complaining. 

"I'm not going to sleep here with your foot odour. Instead of sleeping with her right behind that fucking door." 

Erwin laughed at me.

"He doesn't want you. We're stuck here because of you." 

"Get up, I can't give up this easily."

~~~~~ Your Pov

You were just falling asleep, and you felt someone on the edge of your bed, so you opened your eyes immediately. 

"What are you doing here? Get back your bed Levi!" You whispered.

Suddenly his face became serious. 

"(Y/N), I have a problem with insomnia."

You put your hand on his cheek. 

"What do you mean by that, baby?"

"It's chronic. I thought maybe your warmth would help me sleep." 

You laughed at him and you opened your quilt so he could get into it. You were wondering how you were going to fall asleep when he was so close to you. He put his head on your chest like a child, and you embraced him. You wished he'd slept with you forever. You started to rub her hair with your fingers. You saw him already asleep when his black hair fell off your fingers. 

When you opened your eyes in the morning a pair of blue eyes looked at you. You had a good night's sleep and you started seeing the face of the man you loved the first day of the new year. 

"What the hell is in these pink pyjamas?" He asked you.

"Why are you staring at my pyjamas?" 

In a sudden motion, he opened your legs to the side and stepped on you. Your heart started beating fast enough to come out and you were struggling under him. He kept your arms steady, but he didn't give you his weight. 

"I mean, if you want me to remove your bra, you should be a little sexier." He said with a secret grin.

Your face was like a tomato. 

"Get off me, or I'll scream now." you were keeping struggling again.

" Why, don't you want me?" He whispered your ear. 

You could feel his body on your body. He pulled it out of the black t-shirt you gave him yesterday.  
God, his body was so beautiful, you couldn't take your eyes from his pale white skin. He took your face between his hands and started kissing your lips. You were trying to keep yourself, but it wasn't possible. You wrapped your legs around him and you hugged him. There was a difference in his kisses like he was more passionate. You gave him the tongue to slip into your own mouth. Suddenly he stopped and stared at your face.

"Do you want me to stop?" He asked you.

You nodded.

"I'm not ready today, Levi, I'm so scared right now," you explained to him.

He smiled at you. He started talking without changing his position.

"How many kids are we going to make?" 

You laughed at him. 

"I want four, you want two, I think we can make three." He continued.

" Why are we talking this topic right now? I can't get pregnant three times. Do you want to hurt me that much?" 

He became more serious.

"No, I would never ever hurt you." He said.

~~~~~ 

When you finally got up and you went to the kitchen, and Hange and Erwin were talking amongst themselves. 

"What have we done, Hange?" Levi interrupted them.

" Make love? " Hange asked directly.

" We are doing this every day," said Levi.

"LEVI!" you yelled at him.


	12. I'll help you to sleep

~~~~~ Eren's Pov

I went too far this time. I was not a bad person. I really loved Mikasa and I didn't want to hurt her like that. I'm not even worthy of this love. I had a good childhood. My father was a doctor and my mother was a housewife and no brother or sister. I've never been poor, I've always had so many friends, but one day my mother died when she was young. After that, there was a rage that I couldn't understand. I didn't feel sorry for my dead mother or my father who lost the person he fell in love with, I felt sorry for myself. I've always had that stupid question in mind. "Why is my mother dead? Why did this happen to me?". And yet I was still living a good life. I was going to a good college, I had a beautiful girlfriend and good friends but nothing was ending my anger. Then everything started to go upside down. I met Annie, I cheated on the Mikasa and broke up with her, and then Mikasa committed suicide. I left the hospital without waiting for her to open her eyes. According to (Y/N)'s message that Mikasa's situation was fine. Well, at least I should have waited until she opened her eyes, and maybe I should have apologized for her one last time. See, I was still trying to relax my conscience, I was not thinking about the Mikasa. Maybe I was able to take my word back, maybe I was a bad person. 

I was in front of Annie's apartment, and now all I wanted to do was have sex with her and forget about what happened for a moment. Annie was waiting for me inside the door when the outside door opened. 

"Why are you here?" she asked me coldly.

I was surprised because I didn't expect this question.

"I came to see you." she didn't let me in.

"No prick, you came to fuck me! God damn, are you serious? That girl is in the hospital because of you, how could you come here?" she yelled at me.

I was so shocked, and now I was feeling the rage. 

"Look, Eren, if you're not an animal, Although there is no relationship, you can see that this relationship is hurting others. I'm not going to ruin my life for you. Don't come here and don't call me again also please be a man." 

Then she slammed the door in my face. I didn't understand what happened for a minute but after I started punching the door, yelling and swearing. And then I started laughing because it was something that she could say. "I'm not going to ruin my life for you."

Then I went out of the apartment and I just started walking. I was abandoned, lonely and stupid.

~~~~~

It's been months since it happened, New Year's passed, and the exams started again, but I was still alone. I didn't want to go to school or to live.  
I needed help, but I didn't have the guts to look at the face of the one person I could get help. (Y/N) could be mad at me right now. Also, there was a strange rumour going around. According to these rumours (Y/N) was dating a man who works in one of our faculties ' laboratories, and most of the girls, the most handsome worker in the school. He was also a med student. If I didn't know (Y/N), maybe I would have known it was true. On the other hand. I knew Hange had a boyfriend who was a med student too. And what was that grumpy guy that she came to the hospital with that day? The creepy guy kept staring at me. I could feel the intensity of my inner rage. How could she start dating someone when she didn't keep texting me when she left me alone like that? She was my closest friend. I even laughed at that myself, now I was alone, stupid and selfish. I was still wondering if the rumours were true. Strangely, I started comparing that guy to myself. So I started gathering some information about him. Which lab he works, what's his name, how he looks. I've finally decided to go and see him. On the one hand, if those two were together, I wondered how far they went. No, I knew that (Y/N). She was not dating this guy, I was sure it was all a lie. I came to the lab where this Levi guy worked with his excuse to visit a friend of mine without wasting time.  


When I went into the lab, everyone was busy with something. I approached my friend Connie.

"Hey Connie, what's up?" I asked him.

"I'm all right. Eren, it's good to see you. How are you?" 

You started talking, and I was looking for the guy who fits the description. Suddenly someone came out of the sterile room with black hair, ice blue eyes, and definitely a very charismatic vibe, and he sat about four tables away from you and started talking to his next employer. This guy was the creepy guy I saw at the hospital that night. While I was thinking about it, he turned his eyes at me as he heard me. His eyes opened up for a while, and then he started to look like he wanted to kill you at that moment. This look reminded me of Mikasa's. I couldn't control myself, and I just missed his gaze. Luckily someone called him and so he got up and went that way. I knew this was an opportunity, I said goodbye to Connie and moved on to Levi's desk. He had a few books, a notepad and a photo on his desk. My best friend (Y/N), wrapped a Christmas ornament around her neck and smiled happily in this photo. She looked so good in the picture. I couldn't control myself and I laughed. If she was my girlfriend, I thought, I'd probably choose this photo too. 

When I came home, I was still not accepting the truth. This time there was something else in me with the rage. 

Jealousy. 

~~~~~ Your Pov

Exam week came in quickly. There was a lot of change in your life between the last exam week and this exam week. After New Year's Eve, you had a good relationship with Levi. You gradually introduced him to the people around you. You realized that Levi is happier and more protective as you began to possess him and your relationship. You weren't forgetting what happened on New Year's Eve, even though your relationship went well. You couldn't forget his strong arms, his touch and the passion in his lips. You knew you made a mistake, you were able to have let him go, but then you just couldn't. You knew that Levi wouldn't force you to do as long as you didn't want to, but you still felt sad. Also, Levi never chose to bring it up again. Did you upset him? You wondered if he's giving up on you anymore. That's how you were always eating yourself, so it's best to talk to him the next time.

You were out of school early today, so you wanted to go to Levi's school and surprised him. You've been to this campus before, but you always had Levi. There were only medical students on this campus, and the buildings of different branches were spread across a wide area. It was impossible to find Levi here by yourself. That's why you decided to call Erwin.

"Hi (Y/N)! It's been a long time since I met you, I'm glad to hear your voice. " He said to me.

" Oh, I hope I didn't disturb you. I miss you too, Erwin. Actually, I'm on your campus, and I wanted to surprise Levi. Do you have any idea where he is?" 

"Uhm... Actually right next to me (Y/N). I'm so sorry. We are sitting in the cafeteria. We are waiting to come here." He said.

You were upset that your surprise came out now, but you started to go where they were right now. Levi and you hadn't met in face to face for four days because we were both studying and he had a much more intense program than you had. You missed him so much, you wanted to kiss him so deeply. When you entered the cafeteria, Erwin waved to you. Levi, Erwin and Petra were sitting around a table and eating food. You ran and embraced Erwin and Petra. You saw Petra a few times after that night, and you were fine. But you still didn't feel close to her, she couldn't easily erase Levi in her mind after all. When you looked at Levi, he didn't even get up his seat and he was exhausted. The rings beneath his eyes seemed to stand out almost as if he hadn't been asleep for days. You sat next to him and you wrapped your arms around his neck. Levi didn't show you any warmth.

" Baby, are you okay?" you asked him.

"Yes, I'm fine. Why did you come?" He asked you in a cold way.

"I left school early today, and I missed you so much, do you have a minute?" you asked him with smiling.

"I'm sorry, I don't have any time. If you're hungry, I'll get you something." Then he got up and walked away.

What was that now? While you were looking at Erwin with the interrogating eyes, Petra answered before him. 

"You may not know, but Levi has a problem with insomnia. It's an exam week now, and it's getting worse, so don't worry," she explained to me.

"I know, Petra. He told me when we were sleeping together," you replied.

You stood up fast, and you said goodbye to Erwin and you just got out of there. You were so angry. Even though you thought you were a disrespectful first, Petra was always doing it. She always implied that she knew Levi more than you. Now you're sick of it, and you wanted her to shut up forever. What about Levi? You stopped for a minute, tried to control your nerves. You were right, but the way you showed it to Petra was wrong. One day you decided to go talk to her and tell him that Levi was your boyfriend, so she shouldn't be acting like this anymore and of course, you decided to apologize to her too. You were having trouble breathing right now, the man you love has treated you like this for the first time, and you were so upset. You didn't know what to do, so you sat on a bank that was standing away. It hurt your heart not to get any warmth from him. When you fell to a drop of tears, you immediately wiped it.

"And now you're crying like a baby?" You just turned your head in the direction that the sound came from. It was from Levi. He was standing behind you as if he were going to fall, and there were gloves on his hands that you gave him.

" Fuck you, I'm not crying. " You replied him and you began to cry.

Levi sat next to you, took off his gloves and wiped your eyes out. 

"My fingers are hot now, aren't they?" He asked you but you didn't answer. You wanted him to kiss you.

"(Y/N) I've been having a hard week and I didn't want you to see me like this. That's why I'm a little scared. I'm so sorry for being so mean to you." He hugged you.

Your sobs were starting to accelerate. 

"I'm so sorry I turned you down that day. I didn't mean to. I want you, I love you." You shouted at him.

" What are you talking about? I know that, of course. I never thought of it that way. You're already mine. " 

You were a little relieved and it was good to talk to him. 

"I haven't slept in two days, (Y/N). It's getting hard to concentrate. I'm afraid if I'll never sleep again." He explained to you.

"How about you sleep with me tonight?" You asked him.

"No, you have an exam too." 

"Don't be ridiculous! I'll study with you. I hope it's not a problem for Erwin."

Levi smiled at you.

" Thank you (Y/N). Promise me you won't watch me and you will study properly."

"Promise, mom!" 

Then he kissed you in the longing of all your days apart. 

"I heard what you said to Petra." He said with a tease.

" I guess I was a little rude. "

"Yes, also now she knows it's wrong to behave like this. Apologize to her anyway." 

" Yes, I will." You smiled at him and kissed him one more time.


	13. Who is this Shawnie-boy?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The song that plays in this section: Shawn Mendes- Kid in Love

~~~~~ Levi's Pov

"Do you have a plan for semester break?" Erwin asked me when we were sitting in the cafeteria.

Today, our exams were over. Finally. The exam week was a nightmare for me, I didn't remember being this bad before. That's why (Y/N) stayed with me. When she was with me, at least I could sleep a little. My inability to sleep was growing in such stressful weeks.

"Nope." I turned back to my newspaper. The only thing I planned was to spend more time with (Y/N).

"Actually, there's something we've been thinking about for a long time," Erwin said.

Here, Erwin was in his mouth again, something that would miss my peace. I lifted my head and looked at him with a cold gaze. I just wanted to find out what was wrong with him and go back to my newspaper.

"We would like to have a five-day vacation at a ski resort in this semester. It would be much more fun if (Y/N) and you joined us."

Surprise, surprise! Unexpectedly, Erwin's plan was so cool. We were out of a tough exam week and we deserved to rest. Besides, I'm a little thoughtless, I never thought of doing anything so different, also (Y/N) would absolutely love it. Suddenly I realized that if we decided to go, it would be our first vacation. She loved to play with the snow and she would be happy as a child, no doubt. I wondered how it would be a vacation with her. I was dreaming (Y/N)'s pinky face with snow, I came to real word with Erwin's voice. "Soo?"

"Are you looking for a different environment to make love with Hange? Nice plan, but first I have to ask (Y/N)." I replied to him.

"Different places can add excitement to your relationship. Don't forget this, someday maybe you'll need it too."

"Tch, that bastard."

Erwin said he was going to go to the cargo company today because he missed his cargo yesterday then he left me. So I decided to call (Y/N) because I saw that the clock was earlier. Besides, we could talk about this holiday thing.

" Hey, Hey?" she opened the phone in a cheerful voice.

" Where are you? I'll come and get you."

"Actually, I was hanging out with my classmates because it was the last day of school, Levi. Can you come and get me after we're done?"

"When and where ?"

"Hmm, can you come in front of the school at 17:00?"

"I'll be with Isabel and Farlan by then."

"Okay, love you."

And I hung up the phone.

~~~~~

"Be nice to her. Always watch her back. Don't let her fall down while you're skiing. You finally found someone to tolerate you, so please don't screw this up." Isabel yelled at you and she was trying to shove cookies in your mouth.

"If I know Levi (Y/N), he only allows her to look out to outside from the window." Farlan laughed.

"I want her to meet you." I wanted to change the topic.

"Farlan, do you remember how much I loved her when I saw her at the café first? I feel like I've already felt it! Tell me, Levi, did you kiss her?"

"Oi, oi Isabel! Put these cookies down, enough!" You shouted at her.

" Why! You didn't tell us anything. I wonder!"

"How much does she know?" Finally, Farlan asked me a sensible question.

"Everything."

Isabel suddenly shouted.

"Are you serious! I loved this girl without knowing her."

"How's Mikasa? Where is she?" I asked them.

" Mikasa is fine, but he would have returned my offer. This girl much stronger than I thought, she said she'd go on living here and I'm not quite sure, but it's like he's seeing someone named Jean. " Isabel explained.

"Where'd you get that?" Farlan asked her with a surprise.

"I can feel everything, remember? For example, you'll never have a girlfriend," she said to Farlan teasingly.

"I'll throw you out when I have a girlfriend." Farlan said.

"Then I'll stay with the (Y/N), won't I, Levi?"

"No, I'll sleep with her." Then we all laughed together.

"I have to go now, guys, and I'll call you later."

"Be careful, both!" Isabel said.

~~~~~

When I came to the place I promised to pick her up, she hadn't come yet. Soon after, I saw she came towards me with a few friends. She waved at me and she said goodbye to her friends then came near me.

"Are you hungry?" I put my hand on her shoulder.

"No, we ate something. What about you?"

"Isabel made me eat cookies until she made me puke. I'm not hungry."

She giggled.

"Also they want to meet you."

"Really? Then I want this too as soon as possible."

"Let's go and get some coffee." I got her closer to myself.

~~~~~

We got our coffees and we started walking by the sea. I'll tell her about Erwin's plan.

"I'd love to go, Levi. I don't want to miss the opportunity to go on vacation with you! Please."

She was as excited as a child.

"What about your job in the cafe?"

"I'll take the leave, of course. Don't worry, they won't mind."

I was happy. We were going on our first vacation together.

~~~~~

Erwin and I came in front of Hange and (Y/N) 's apartment. They soon appeared at the door with a few bags in their hands. Erwin went down the car and opened the trunk to plant the stuff. When (Y/N) entered the car, she reached the front seat and put a few kisses on my cheek. We were ready to go when everyone was in their place.

I was working with the music player to find some good music in the middle of our journey, and (Y/N) screamed.

"Let this song stay!"

"Yes, nowadays this is her favourite singer, Shawn Mendes," Hange, explained it.

~~~~~

_And I know that we just met_  
_And maybe this is dumb_  
_But it feels like there was something_  
_From the moment that we touched_  
_'Cause, it's alright, it's alright_  
_I wanna make you mine_

_The way you're lightin' up the room_  
_Caught the corner of my eye_  
_We can both sneak out the back door_  
_We don't have to say goodbye_  
_'Cause, it's alright, it's alright_  
_To waste time tonight_

_Maybe I'm just a kid in love_  
_Maybe I'm just a kid in love_  
_Oh, baby "~_

~~~~~

The kid was saying from the music player.

" Who is this Shawnie boy?" I asked her.

" I smell jealousy. " Erwin said with a grin.

"Şşt, just listen, his voice is cute," she said and we kept the listening.

~~~~~

After we finished our work at reception, we went to our rooms to catch up for dinner. (Y/N) was used to staying with me, so he would stay with me again. The hotel was very nice. Most of the place was covered with glass, so we could watch the snow. Of course, (Y/N) was the one who was happiest. She put her hands on the windows and watched it look like she was enchanted. We finally went to our room and started getting ready. We agreed to meet with Erwin and Hange in half an hour.

"(Y/N) What are you doing in there, not getting ready?" I knocked on the bathroom door.

She opened the bathroom door slowly and she slipped out of the door.

"I can't decide if this outfit is good or not," she asked me.

I didn't feel good. I was just staring at her without saying anything, and I'm sure my gaze was starting to scare her. She was wearing a very beautiful and character-fitting dress with lace in some parts of it. Her dress was cream-coloured and it was deathly compatible with her brown hair. I could see her breasts under her dress. Damn, she was so innocent and sexy.

" I knew it! It looks disgusting on me. I'll get it out right now. "

" No, (Y/N) wait! Don't. I just can't talk. I think I should be ready to fight with someone tonight because everyone's eyes will be on you."

She giggled when I took her hand and started going down to go to dinner.

~~~~~ Your Pov

You woke up in the morning and you felt so good. Because you were on vacation with your love and your friends also you were going to roll in the snow soon. Levi was watching you again when you opened your eyes.

"Are you always going to wake up before me?"You asked him.

"You have to try and see for yourself." He said with a grin.

His look was so good right now. He was watching you with his black messy hair and his newly awakened eyes. His bare and pale white chest turned towards you. He was putting one of his hands under his chin.

"Why are you staring at me like that?" He asked you.

You couldn't help yourself and put your head on his chest. After a few minutes of waiting, you felt his hand in your hair.

"Just let me tonight." He whispered to you.

You lifted your head and looked at his face with grinning.

"Okay." You just said.

~~~~~

You took your ski pants, coat, gloves, glasses and your ski cap because you were going to go skiing today. But first, you had to rent our skis, ski poles and ski sets. Only Hange had ever been skiing before, so the rest of you would learn basic things like posture, rotation, glide, fall. When you were trying to learn the basics, you realized how clumsy you were to ski. You were always falling, but it was fun. You were happy to find yourself in a way that was buried in snow again. On the one hand, every fall, you felt Levi's gaze on you. As soon as he heard your smile, he was relieved. This time Levi yelled at you hard when you suddenly found yourself on the ground while trying a new sliding movement.

" Hey, (Y/N) If you fall again, I'll get you in. Be careful."

He lifted you off the floor and you nodded with a smile.

After a short lunch break, you continued to ski again. You were all having a fun time. You were throwing snow at each other, falling together also your energy never ended. When Hange offered to ride the chairlift and go to the top, you and Erwin accepted it enthusiastically.

"Wait, wait, we just learned something, do you think it's right to skate from the top of the first day?" Levi asked.

"Come on, Levi. If we don't, you won't be allowed to (Y/N) during the entire holiday" Hange said.

"Please Levi. I promise, nothing bad will happen."

Levi soured.

When you were on the way to the chairlift, there was actually an iron for you to put your feet under the sitting bench. This was foot support that was put in the air while your feet were in the sky. But you were an amateur and you didn't realize you were shaking your feet in the void because of looking at the beauty of the scenery. You felt something when you moved to the chairlift and went high and watched the scenery at the end of the trees. The tip of your ski was stuck in a tree and it didn't come out of the tree. The tree was pulling you down, but the chairlift was on the move, continuing to go forward.

"Levi, it's jammed, it's not coming out!" You yelled at him.

Suddenly he turned to you, his eyes were panicked. He grabbed your leg and tried to get it out of the jam without wasting time, but it didn't work. You felt an incredible pain in your feet when you thought your leg would break in a few seconds. When you screamed in pain, Levi rescued your foot from the place it was trapped. You hug him in tears and pain and realized that his heart is beating faster because of fear.

"It's alright, I'll take you to the doctor when we land. Okay?"

You nodded him.

When you got to the doctor at the ski resort, you found out you had a broken foot. Nevertheless, you were fortunate that Levi had saved your foot from where it was stuck. The doctor put your foot in plaster, and that's how you ended up in your snow adventure. You ruined everyone's vacation because of you're reckless, and most of Levi's.

Soon after, you were in your room. You were sitting and others were standing up. You felt yourself like a little girl.

"I'm so sorry guys, I should have been more careful."

"Yes, you should have, for God's sake (Y/N), what were you thinking when you wanted to get to the top? What if something worse happened to you there?" Levi yelled at you.

He was absolutely right, so you couldn't say anything.

"Please, Levi. Just calm down. I'm the biggest guilty here." Hange said.

"Everybody, just keep it down, we're all tired. Let's leave you to rest, Levi. I'll see you tomorrow, have a good rest." Erwin said.

You felt guilty about Levi, aside from the pain in your leg. He sat on the side of the bed and started taking off his shoes and some thick clothes. After he finished his own job, he started helping you without saying anything. Then you realized your morning talked. You ruined everything again. But you actually realized that you still wanted him. You stopped him while he was trying to get that thick sweater off your head.

"Stop."

"Why?" He asked you.

"When you make them fast, you never turn me on."

He was staring at you.

"What are you talking about?"

"You know what I am talking about."

He waited on his knees for a second.

"Are you sure about this? So you don't have any pain or anything?" He asked you with curiosity.

"I'm going to give up now." you giggled.

After he looked dull in your face for a few seconds, the gaze became softer then he kissed me. He took his soft and thin lips over my lips. You were sitting in the bed, and he collapsed on his knees, slowly removing your thick sweater from you. Then he pulled out your thermal underwear. You now have only the bra on you. He quickly pulled things off himself. You knew he was trying to be nice to you but somehow he was struggling to suppress his excitement. He tilted you back and leaned over with his bare chest.

"I want you so badly (Y/N)." Levi breathed and pressed his forehead to yours, and stared into your eyes.

You grabbed his face and kissed him. You couldn't have your eyes out of his eyes. His scent was spinning your head. Where did this man come from? Just with his touches, how could affect you so much?

"I was afraid something would happen to you." He whispered to you. His thumb was running over your lip delicately.

"I'm afraid something or someone will take you away from me." He continued.

You kissed him again.

"I know Levi, you don't have to explain."

"Just let me. Baby, promise me you won't leave me."

"I won't, promise." You didn't even think for a second.

Suddenly you felt your bra was open. Levi gently lowered the straps down and pulled your bra off. Your face was red even from the tomato. When Levi touched your nipples, you felt your nipples were hard. Then he looked at your face again and grinned.

"Look at me." He said to you.

"What?" you soured.

"Did I turn you on now?"

You giggled. He kissed you deeply just like that night. You could feel his tongue then he started kissing the lower. Your neck, your shoulders, your breasts, your belly. He started to take off your ski pant by paying attention to your foot in plaster. He smiled when he saw your chick panty.

"What is this?" He asked you with a grin.

"Can't you see? My panty! "

He giggled again and he threw his pant aside. You were looking at him in amazement. Every place in his body was proposed. He had a slender body for a man but he was definitely muscular. He approached you again. He lifted your non-plaster leg and start kissing inside your calf until your pussy. He touched it over your panty.

"It's already too wet for me. Do you want me that much?" He asked you to bend over to you.

"You're embarrassing me!" You close your face with your hands.

He approached even more and pulled his hands.

"Let me see this cuteness. (Y/N), your breasts are so beautiful."

"Shut up!" You yelled again.

He kissed your breast again then your lips.  
Suddenly you felt his hand in your panty. All the muscles on your back were stretched and he kissed you deeper and deeper. When he grabbed your clitoris with his finger, a wave of pleasure wrapped your body. You didn't stop yourself. All the muscles in your body were contractions. He pulled his hand out of your pussy and took off your panty. You were totally naked in front of him right now  
He looked at you.

"Shit! You are so fucking beautiful." He said to you.

You covered your face with your hand but he tried to stop you.

"Please, don't. Let me see my love's face."

Then he carefully opened your legs to the side. He started playing with your pussy with his tongue. You've never felt that feeling before. It was so beautiful that you wanted to cry and laugh at the same time. You grabbed his head and lifted him.

"Enough!" You yelled at him.

"Why? Don't you like it?" He asked you.

" No, I mean, if you keep this up, I feel like I'm going to spill something."

He laughed at this and he took off his underwear. When you saw it, the first thing you thought was how can get it in your inside. He pulled a condom out of his purse then wore it.

"Levi, I think I can't do this."

Levi smiled at you and he moved between your legs and started rubbing his cock on your clitoris. Then kissed your mouth again. You wrapped your arms in him and lost his kisses again.

" I promise, I won't hurt you. Now I want you to stay calm and tell me when it hurts too much." He said to you.

Right after you felt a sharp pain in your vagina and you threw your head back but the pain didn't take as long as you expected. In a short time you felt your inside filled in with his cock then it left its place in a wave of pleasure. Levi's kiss brought you back.

"Talk to me. How are you feeling?"

You could see his blue eyes that shinning like a star.

" I think, I'm in love with you." You both laughed at this comment.

You could feel it he was moving inside of you. You felt too much-complicated feelings but mostly pleasure and love. You kept kissing while he kept moving his cock inside of you. You knew he was so tired. He assumed everything himself. You wanted to give him pleasure too. When he was inside of you, you wrapped your one leg around him and slowly started to move your hips. He began to smile. He was going to ask you for a few minutes first but then he gave up and stepped up his moves.

" God, (Y/N). You are so tight." Levi groaned. Then he bent down and took a nipple into his mouth. Your body reacted of its own volition, raising your chest, to his eager mouth.

You couldn't give him an answer because of pleasure. You pulled him closer and started kissing him.

Your two bodies are moved in sync like waves. Both of your chests met with each motion, hips were kissing as they roll, and his cock was stretching you. Your pussy clenching, releasing with every pump.

"I'm about to cum." You yelled at him.

"Just cum for me, baby."

You didn't care about anything and now you were just feeling him and your body was burning. Suddenly when your body was shaken by pleasure, you said his name. Your orgasm flooded out like a burst of heady bliss. When you were having this pleasure, you felt it was a contraction of his cock and you realized he cum too. You were so happy when you saw his happy and relaxed face. He collapsed on you. You could feel his whole body. He remained until his breath was in order. You could hear him breathing calmly behind your neck. Then he lifted his head and seemed anxious.

" Are you okay? Right?"

You smiled at him and you touched his cheeks with your hands.

"Yep Levi. You did everything to make it a good night for us. Also, you said to me " Baby" twice."

He stood up and settled next to you then kissed you.

" You want me to call you baby?"

You nodded. He smiled and his cheeks blush then he hugged you.

" So baby tell me. Why were you cried out my name when you cum?

You closed your face with your hands and you heard him laughing at you.


	14. Don't leave me

~~~~~ Hange's Pov

I thought of (Y/N) all night long. I regretted leaving him with Levi. That son of a bitch was going to yell at her and treat her badly, no doubt. On the other hand, of course, he was right. (Y/N) should have been a little more careful, and I shouldn't have insisted on the top of the hill. We were all fascinated by the scenery and we were laughing. I felt so guilty. I loved Levi so much, but I was angry at him for stealing my friend. I moved into the house of someone I never knew at first, but very soon, (Y/N) became my little sister I never had. The house was so quiet and empty when she started staying with Levi for the last few days because of Levi's problems and I hated that. I was so happy for them, but I wanted to cry like a little girl and hug her skirt with screaming "Don't leave me." Even though I doubt Levi's love at first, and I wondered if they were a screw-up, they convinced me in a short time. Levi closed his own pains with (Y/N), and (Y/N) understood what it was like to be loved. Besides, those two were very fitting to each other as a physical appearance. Levi's cold looks became softer when he was with her. I wondered whether she had too much pain right now. Was Levi interested in her enough? I fell asleep when these thoughts were eating me.

When I woke up in the morning, Erwin was still asleep. I think I woke up a little early, and I didn't sleep well. I wanted to go and see (Y/N) right away, but they're probably asleep too. So I decided to go take a shower. When I came back to the room, Erwin woke up. 

"You're up early." He said. 

"I was worried about (Y/N), I didn't sleep very well." 

"Why did you worried about her?" He approached me and put a kiss on my shoulder. 

"For God's sake, what was that yelling? We all know our own mistakes." 

"Typical Levi. He was so afraid when he spoke without thinking. I'm sure, he'll apologize to you today." 

How could Erwin be so calm in any case?

"But if your nerves still don't calm down, we can try a different method if you want," Erwin asked you with a smirk.

"Nope. Actually, the conversation was really good, thanks." 

~~~~~

When we came down for breakfast, I saw (Y/N) and Levi were coming towards us. She was struggling to walk because she didn't have a crutch. On the other hand, Levi grasped her waist and was holding her in one arm. I wanted to run to them and hug (Y/N) but I stopped myself. Because they had a difference and I could feel. Levi, with a secret grin on his face, wrapped her in a protective way, on the other hand (Y/N) had a pink face, like she was dying to touch him. Also, they were missing their eyes from each other. I must confess, they looked so cute. I run away from my thoughts and went to them. 

" How are you today? Do you have a lot of pain?" I hugged her tightly. 

"I'm a little hard to get down here, but I'm okay now."

I turned towards Levi and gave him a dirty look.

" Did this bastard take care about you? Or, did he treat you badly? "

Interestingly, both of them were flushed. What was wrong with them?

" We're okay, Hange," she replied to me.

" Get that weird look off of us so we can go sit next to Erwin, Hange!" Levi said to me.

~~~~~

"What's wrong with them?" Erwin asked me with a low sound.

Levi and (Y/N) were sitting in front of us, both had pink cheeks and they were feeding each other. They were sweet, but they were afraid to show their relationship with others before. That's why we were so shocked.

After a while, Levi started talking.

" Hange, I apologize for my behaviour yesterday. I was still not thinking clearly about the incident." 

Erwin smiled at me. 

" I know, Levi. It's okay, I was just as scared as you were." I explained to him.

" Oh guys, your conversation in this civilized way is deeply affecting me." Erwin had been making fun with us.

" I was actually crying in the doctor's room because she was going to punch Levi, not because of my pain." And (Y/N) joined him too.

" Besides, she's struggling to walk. She should go home and rest until school starts." Levi continued.

" You're right, are you coming back today? (Y/N), do you want me to come with you?" I asked them.

" Don't be silly, Hange! Stay here and enjoy the rest of the days. You both deserve a good holiday. I'll be fine, don't worry." she said to me.

" Levi, stay with her," Erwin said to Levi and he nodded.

I was still not comfortable with them getting in the car and watching them get away. I knew Levi would take good care of her, though.

"They made love, didn't they?" Erwin asked me with smiling.

I smiled at him too.

" Yes, they did."

~~~~~ Your Pov 

When you arrived at the house, you were tired because of the car ride. Also, your leg was starting to whimpering. You just started whining when you were at the door of the apartment.

"Can I rest here for five minutes? I can't move my foot." 

Levi opened the apartment door and looked at you. He looked at you for a few seconds without saying anything then suddenly he took you his arms and lifted you into the air like the bridal style. Suddenly, a little surprise scream came out of your mouth, but then you smiled. He must have figured out that you couldn't walk the stairs alone. You put your one hand behind his shoulder and your other hand on his chest, and you leaned on him. 

"Thank you," you said.

After entering the house, Levi came out of the house to bring your things and get you some medicine. You took a hot shower, changed your clothes, and started cooking. Suddenly you thought about what happened last night, and your face started turning red. It's not as bad an experience as you think it was, but it was something that tied you two better. It may have been because of Levi, though. He avoided everything that was going to upset you and break you. You could see, how much he was endeavouring for you. That's why you trusted him, and you wanted him to trust you. Suddenly, there was something Levi said a few days ago, and that's when Levi came home.

You started talking while you were eating your food.

"How would you like to invite Isabel and Farlan to dinner tomorrow?" 

Levi looked at you in a thoughtful way.

"Baby, are you sure? You're going to have to cook or something, you need to rest." 

"You're going to help me." You said. 

Levi secretly grinned. 

"You won. I'll call them in a minute." 

~~~~~

"You need to cut a little thinner, Levi!" You yelled at him.

"Come on, how thin can it be?" 

You took the knife from him and you started showing him how to do it. Suddenly, you felt Levi's breath around your neck, wrapped you in your back, and his hands were on your breasts. He calmly whispered in your ear. 

"One more time?" 

You giggled and grabbed his hands and put the knife in his hand, and you were holding his hands at the same time. Now he was hugging you behind your back, and you were telling him how to cut onions. 

"That's it, see?"

He put his jaw on your shoulder and kept cutting. You took your hands off his hands, grabbed his face and kissed his lips. You could feel his body leaning back at you. 

"There's no time for that." You whispered to him and he soured.

~~~~~ 

When the doorbell was rung, all your preparations were over, but there was a lot of excitement inside of you. You hoped they'll love you. When Levi opened the door, Isabel's cheerful voice came from below. 

"We're here! Hey, are you on the second floor? How did that girl get out here with the broken foot?" 

While you were waiting for them with prying eyes, the red-haired girl walked through the door and she hugged you. The way she was so friendly before she ever knew you, it relieved you, and you responded to her hug. 

"I said Levi to keep an eye on you before you went on vacation. Now I'm going to beat him, look, you hurt your foot!"

You giggled. 

"Actually, It's not his fault." You said to her.

"You don't have to be embarrassed, we're all here to beat him up." Farlan said and hugged you.

"Hey, hey! I'm your brother, did you forget?" Levi yelled at them.

Then everybody started laughing. 

The night was better than your guess. Isabel and Farlan never made you feel strange. It's like they were the intimate friends you knew a long ago.

"He's always, Oi oi, Isabel stay straight, Oi oi, Isabel study your class or you'll be nothing. Oi, Isabel, keep your voice down." She was imitating that Levi's voice.

"He was a naughty boy, he always got in a fight, but he never got beaten up." Farlan said to you.

You giggled. 

" So he's just getting beaten up by you." 

"Why is everyone talking about me today?" Levi wanted to change a topic.

Isabel never cared about what he said.

" He's never had a girlfriend before so I thought he was gay. " 

"Oi oi, Isabel, shut up now," Levi shouted.

Then we laughed again. 

" We're thinking of going home this weekend, Levi." Farlan kindly said. 

Levi left dinner and started looking at him also Isabel was quite too.

"Are you done here?" Levi asked him.

"Yes." Farlan said. 

Levi just stopped. You felt he was thinking about something. Then he started talking again. 

" Farlan, why do you insist on going back to that damn village? Isabel can prepare herself for her exam here. And what's left to fear now? You have a job also I have a job. No one can take her from you anymore. " Levi shouted him.

"You don't understand, Levi. We have a pattern there. You may not care what happened, but for us, these are important." Farlan said him quietly.

The way Farlan spoke, somehow reminded you of Erwin.

"Farlan?" Isabel said to him.

Levi was trying to calm himself. 

"Levi, you have a life here. Your school, your job, your girlfriend, your friends. I love someone,  
And I want to try to make her my girlfriend, Levi, so I have to go back to her, but Isabel is my own sister. I don't want to leave her. At least I want him to stay with me until he wins a school near you." Farlan tried to explain himself.

Levi was looking at him thoughtfully. Then he started talking.

"If you say so..." 

~~~~~

Isabel and you were washing dishes in the kitchen. Suddenly she asked you.

" What do you think of this matter? "

"You're Levi's sister, and if you're going to stay here, it's not going to make any difference to staying with Farlan. In contrast, I can understand Farlan. Also, We have to consider a little time left on your exam so the moving process may not be good for you." 

"I'm going to stay with Farlan to help him set up his own life, then I'll come over to Levi's and ask him to help me build my own life," Isabel said with a cheerful voice.

" We're waiting for you, then."

"Tell me (Y/N), do you love my brother? 

" Yes, I love him. " your cheeks were getting pink again.

" Why? How do you know you love someone? " she asked you. 

You felt the love of a sister for Isabel. 

"It's hard to answer, but I guess I didn't realize I loved him as a single, sudden thing. It was something with time. First I recognized his character, his way of speaking, and his feelings close to me. The more time I spent with him, the more I knew him. Then the little things started to excite me, and her presence started to make me happy. And I was beginning to trust him. Also, I must confess, her appearance was affecting me too."You giggled.

Isabel was watching me like she was fascinated.

"You're a lucky man, Levi. I hope I can have a relationship like you and my brother in the future," she said.

You smiled at her then something came to your mind. 

"Hey, Isabel, do you have any pictures of Levi's when he was a little boy?" 

She laughed loudly.

"I think I have one. I'll email you when I get home." 

You smiled at her again.

When you came back to the room, it was time to say goodbye. Levi was going to leave them at the hotel. You could feel him crazy sad. However, it was decided. 

"Call me often, okay? I will miss you." You said to Isabel.

"I'm going to sleep with you when I come back here." 

Isabel made you laugh then you hugged Farlan.

"Go and confess her." You said and Farlan nodded you with a smile.

You were still worried about Levi while you watched them from the window, watching them wandered away from the apartment. 

Suddenly the phone vibrates with the incoming message. 

The message came from Eren. 

"I don't feel good, (Y/N)."


	15. Listen , please

~~~~~ Eren's Pov

I was watching the café from the outside, but I couldn't get in. I was the last person who deserved to get in, though. I didn't come here to see Annie or Mikasa. After that night, Annie and I never saw each other again, and frankly, I noticed she wasn't indispensable to me. Was it funny right? I wasn't able to have noticed that so late. I can hear you asking me "Why you left Mikasa, if Annie wasn't indispensable to you, ass hole.". You have forgotten that I am selfish, thoughtless and foolish. If I could be a man like Annie said, I'd still have Mikasa in my arms right now. But I made one and more mistakes, and I've endued the consequences, no matter what. The air was becoming freezing, and two figures were seen with black hair and blonde hair working inside the café. But where is (Y/N)? I've been in front of the café before, and I've done the outside surveillance, but I've never seen (Y/N). Or could she have left the café? Maybe she moved in with her boyfriend and she was not paying rent anymore. That's impossible. She was not a girl who wants her boyfriend to look after her. I felt the rage again. Where the hell was she when I was waiting for her in the cold? I had no intention of leaving without knowing the truth this time. I decided to wait here until Armin came out and then I was going to ask him. 

I crouched where I stood, and I sat down. I thought what would happen if we met with Mikasa again. Would she come back to me or punch me in the face? No, none of it. She would look at me like I was trash with empty eyes, and she would ignore me, for sure. However, I wanted her to be good and healthy. I didn't want her to be upset about me or anyone else. Then I'd be happy for her look at me like garbage.

I didn't remember how much time I struggled with these thoughts in cold weather. I saw Mikasa come out of the café. I was happy because I had no chance of meeting him. A few minutes later, the blond-haired skinny boy went out of the café too. Armin was our school friend, and he was a really smart kid also he was good with (Y/N). I crossed the street and approached Armin. 

"Hey, Armin. What's up?" 

Armin turned around and was pretty surprised to see me. 

"Ah, Eren. Thanks, how are you? It's been a long time since I saw you." 

He heard about the Mikasa thing, no doubt. I could tell this by the smile that was withered in every word he spoke. 

"Yes, it's been a while. Actually, I wanted to ask you something. I was looking for (Y/N), but I don't think she's in the café." 

I thought, he was waiting for me to ask him about Mikasa.

" Yes, it's not a café right now. She was allowed to be on vacation with her boyfriend, but she had to extend her permission because her foot was broken." 

I was surprised, but I didn't want to show my surprise.

"Thanks, Armin. See you again." I said and I just walked away. 

What was that mean? What do you mean she was on vacation with her boyfriend? How could she think of her own life without caring about me, leaving me alone and thinking about me? That was unfair, she knew that among all the bad things I lived, she was my true friend, and now she left me for her own enjoyment. Also, she broke her foot. For God's sake, what did that man do to her? Where did they go on vacation? Why did they go on their own? How far has the relationship progressed? Did (Y/N) really love with him? I felt so alone. Everyone was making a new life, and I was busy with destroying the life I already had. I couldn't handle with (Y/N) who had a happy life because I had an unhappy life. I thought she'd always wait for me, no matter what. When I called, I thought she was going to open my phone, when I said to her to come near me, I thought she'd be right there. Because I thought she was going to be alone forever, and she would have no business other than to help me, take care of me. Yes, she certainly betrayed me. He didn't care about me, he didn't care about my feelings, but I needed her. She went out and started dating a man who was unknown, just to annoy me. She was not even in love with him. It's just a punishment she gave me. How can a man have a romantic relationship with (Y/N)? I had to admit, she was a nice, pretty girl, but I couldn't qualify her as sexy, I would just say she was cute. I wondered how it would be if I had sex with her a few times, but without it, I fell in love with Mikasa. But now it was time to learn the answer. It didn't matter if she had a boyfriend. I wanted her and I wanted her to be with me forever. If he wanted to make me run after her, I was going to run. 

Then I took my phone and texted her.

"I don't feel good, (Y/N)"

I got more angry with the message that came in a few minutes. 

"Try to be good, I'll call you later, I'm not available right now."

~~~~~ Your Pov

The message from Eren was so surprising and curious. Even though you were so angry that he was sending you a message like this after all this time, he was obviously in need of help. Was he really in a bad mood or was he just doing it because he was spoiled? It was probably the second situation. You were angry because he left Mikasa like that also he stopped seeing you without even explaining anything. He probably didn't even feel the need to explain. 

When he put aside his childish behaviours and he would really start taking responsibility? How could a man breathe who was constantly trying to escape from himself, his father, his responsibilities and the truth? Eren always laughed, made jokes, and didn't like to talk about serious things. You never see him cry. Not because he's happy or upset. Would it be a person who never felt sorry? Then how would you know that you were really smiling for something? Most importantly, how would you understand that he cared about you? To make a man your true friend, you must be peaceful when you are with him, you must not doubt his sincerity. Besides, you've changed with Levi. You already knew how to value it, but for the first time, you felt what it was like to be worth from the man. You could see more clearly when you thought it over. When you say you're my best friend to someone, it doesn't really matter. Love was nothing but sacrifice. If you didn't make a sacrifice at the right time in the right place, your words didn't matter. You helped Eren every time he needed it, and you even assumed his responsibilities. You let him take your support. You would have done it again, and you didn't regret it, but who were you to get support from? 

You couldn't always expect everyone to be in a good mood, of course, that didn't mean they didn't care about you. However, if you felt their love, you already wouldn't care. Like Hange and you or Levi and Erwin. Even if you didn't talk about it, you'd know what you were implying. Now that if you were in a rush because of your own ambitions and egos, and you were trying to squeeze the valuable relationships into short time or if someone needed your help but you were every time too busy to run for it, we could no longer talk about value anymore. Instead of you said as Eren said, "I'm like this, you can't change me" and run away, you had to spend the time to fix things that were wrong. Instead of you saw everyone around you downstairs from you and avoided from them because of your own fears (As long as you tell it's not), you had to be friend with them, you had to give a chance for them. 

You already gave him a chance to find a solution to his problems, and you had a life. Damn it, it was your life. How long were you going to run after him to get his mind together? Still, it wasn't for you to turn your back on him. You were going to contact him again, but not now. You grabbed the phone and texted him. 

"Try to be good, I'll call you later. I'm not available right now."

When these thoughts were eating you, you didn't even realize how time had passed, you woke up with the sound of the door opening. Levi came in and he was surprised to see you where he left you. He looked tired, and you wanted to hug him and get all his fatigue. If you tell him about Eren, he'll be angry at nothing and not ask you to meet him. Actually, that was the truth, but you'd feel bad. That's why you decided not to tell him. 

"I thought he'd wait for me naked in our bed." Levi said with and sat behind you.

"Someone was supposed to help me take my clothes off first then I could wait for you naked in MY bed." 

He laughed at you.

I knew he was upset. He didn't want Isabel and Farlan to come back home. I hugged him and I wanted to take his sadness from him.

" I couldn't persuade them. Farlan's still mad at me for settling in here." He explained to you.

"Wouldn't you come back for me? As he starts to build his own life, he will see what's right. Believe me." 

He lifted his head and looked at you.

"I'll follow you wherever you go but you promised me. You won't leave me, don't you remember?" 

You giggled.

"I can't remember, I think it just accidentally slipped out of my mouth." 

"Then I'd better remind you again" 

Levi said and he took you in his lap and took you to your room. 

~~~~~

Hange was coming home today. You missed him so much that you wanted to cry because Levi was going to leave the house today. You were so into him, he was part of you. It would have been hard to sleep without him. After that night, you had sex with him two more times. Every time you loved him more and you missed him more. Now you were sitting on the floor, picking up his stuff, and you were in tears. 

"Hey baby, hey what's up?" He came and grabbed your face with his hand. 

"You're going." You said to him.

He smiled a little bit.

"I'd like to propose to you right now, but you probably want me to do it with a ring."

You giggled. 

"I'm going to the grocery store to get something to eat, do you want something?" 

"Come quickly." you smiled at him.

Levi was gone for half an hour when the doorbell rang. You were surprised to he came back here so quickly. However, when you opened the door, there was Eren. 

"What the hell are you doing here?" You asked him.

It seemed absolutely ridiculous, and it was like he was drinking for days. 

"You didn't call me again." 

He pushed you off your shoulder and he'd come in. 

"You know what this is, you're trespassing on my house?" You yelled at him.

"Are you afraid that your boyfriend might catch us?" 

"Tell me what to get caught. What's wrong with you?" 

Suddenly he grabbed you from your arm and threw you on the couch without caring about your broken foot. Then he climbed on you. You started struggling under him.

"What the hell are you trying to do, Eren! Get off from me." 

But he wasn't listening to you like he was crazy. 

"Just listen to me. I know you were always there for me, and I treated you as a slave just like Mikasa. And then you went and you were with that guy. But I can understand that you did it to punish me." 

You couldn't understand what was going on. You couldn't move also couldn't talk. He continued.

" Look, I know you liked me at first, but you know, I just wanted to play with you. "

You were shocked. Eren was holding your wrists so tight that you thought they were going to break too.

"How do you know that?" You asked him quietly.

"How could I not notice you? Look, you started dating that guy to forget me, didn't you?"

He approached you to kiss your mouth. Your body wasn't moving, tears were falling out of your eyes. Suddenly all the weight of Eren was lifted. When you were able to come to your senses, you saw Levi put Eren against the wall, punched him in the face and yelled at him at the same time. You started crying because you were so scared. 

Levi turned to you and yelled at you.

"Shut the fuck up! Why are you crying?"

He became a crazy, Levi was going to kill Eren. 

"Stop, Levi! " 

Eren fell to the ground and he hit him with his foot a few more times then he threw him out of the house. He was swearing and yelling like crazy. Then he turned you again.

"I thought you really loved me." 

You were crying all the time. What was he talking about? Why was he blaming you for something you felt when you were only nineteen years old? It's hard, but you tried to talk. 

" Levi, just listen."

"Shut up. I don't want to listen to you. I've seen everything that's happened. " 

He turned his back on you and kept his eyes with his hands also you were still crying.

"Levi, I, I..."

"Shut up! Just. You were so different to me, I believed in you! I was so in love with you, God! I didn't see. How?" 

I couldn't look him in the eye. I didn't do anything wrong, but I couldn't look at him.

"Let's finish here." His voice was freezing.

You suddenly raised your head and looked at him, right in his eyes. You couldn't believe those words come out of his mouth. 

"No Levi! Please just listen to me once. Please don't go!" You were yelling at him and crying.

You wanted to hug him, and you wanted to hear he made a joke. Because Levi knew you, he listened to you no matter what. He was staring at you with his icy eyes like he wasn't the man you loved anymore. 

"It's over." his voice began to tremble. 

Then he slammed through the door and left the house and he didn't look back once. 

When Hange came home, she found you sobbing on the floor where Levi left you.


	16. Confession

~~~~~ Levi's Pov

I wasn't quite sure but I thought five or six days passed after that day. That day I broke up with her. Even that word was enough to kill me. I was stupid enough to think she'd be with me forever. That was the first thing that came to my mind when I opened my eyes again. Where was I this time? I didn't remember. I haven't been home since that day. I might have drunk again last night. Yes, I remembered it's a hostel. I kept drinking and I didn't remember where I sleep nowadays because if I went home, I was going to have to face this truth. The truth that the only woman I loved in my life is cheating on me. 

I didn't change the clothes I had, nor did I bathe. I felt terrible. I was sure the people who saw me are just getting away. As if I cared too much. I was drinking all the time because I felt my heart ache if I stayed awake. I had a heartache when I was drunk, though but at least I didn't remember. I never thought about what happened, what I saw, what I heard again. I was trying to erase it from my brain. Also, all the good things we've been through, the smell of her, the touch of her, the warmth of her. I was trying to erase everything about her. However, that was not possible. She already was inside of me. I couldn't get her out of there without getting my own heart out of there. As if this was not enough, Erwin fucking Smith was constantly calling me as he wanted to remind me this every day. I haven't eaten in days, I tried to be out of bed, but my power wasn't enough. 

Now I was on the verge of escaping. I had to get home and get ready for the school that starts soon. I thought I was going to quit my job at the lab, so I couldn't afford to meet her again. That's ridiculous. I'd make time to see her at school just two weeks ago. I got out of bed with my last remaining strength and went to the bathroom. I looked in the mirror and I laughed at myself. My hair was greasy, and the blacks under my eyes seemed like I was beaten. If she was with me, she'd probably wrap me with her warm arms and take all my fatigue. But after all, I was like this because of her. For the first time in days, when I went under hot water, I remembered her crying. She was trying to get off the couch with her broken foot, but she couldn't handle it. She was shaking because I scared of her. When I told her to break up, I remembered the way she looked at me. Her hazel eyes started to burn in flames. God, why am I thinking about this now? 

When I packed my stuff up and I got a little tidy, I left the hostel and headed home. As soon as I walked in the door, Hange and Erwin put their eyes on me. Nobody ever said a word. 

"Are you too blind to see this is a spoiled child's game?" she shouted behind me.

I started moving into my room without saying anything. 

"(Y/N) never cheated on you. You're making a terrible mistake. " she continued.

I turned back to her.

"Mistake? Were you there, Hange? I saw them! She said she was with me to forget about him. She probably didn't forget, though. If I let them..."

I couldn't get the end of my sentence. 

"You were supposed to listen to her, it's not what you think." she continued.

"Hange, let him rest for a while," Erwin said.

Then I turned back to them and got in my room.

~~~~~ 

It's been about a week since school started, and I was here again. I've had a habit of standing around here in my spare time lately. I'm not just standing here, of course. (Y/N)'s school had yet to be opened for another week, but she had not been impatient and has returned to his work at the café. She went to work every morning with those crutches to fill her day off, and she was coming back alone in the evenings. When I saw her, I wanted to run and hug her then kiss her.  
It was like all the things that happened were a dream. I've lost nothing to her from my love. I just thought that she couldn't have done this to me while she was staring at her. Could I have made a mistake, really? How quickly did I forget the things you saw? I never even talked to Erwin and Hange about it again. I've been so far away from everyone. I didn't even call back to the calls of Isabel and Farlan. 

I was here one morning again, and I was looking at the woman who struggled to come down on the slippery slope. Her eyes were tired and her brown hair was flying in the wind. She buried his face in her same pink scarf again, but this time her cheeks were not pink also her face was pale. Suddenly the woman slipped and almost fell down. You tried to hold her with a reflex, but you were too far away to hold her. Fortunately, the woman found her balance at the last moment and didn't fall. But instead of moving forward, she just stood there and pulled over yourself then sat on the cold sidewalk. She buried her head on her knees. I could see her crying from this distance. At that moment, I felt unbearable pain in my heart. She didn't cry because she was about to fall, she was crying because of me. I could feel it. As she cried, I wanted to die. I wanted to run to her and put an end to everything. What was holding me? Was it true what I saw, or was there another truth underneath like Hange said? Or I was hoping it would be like this. As she kept crying, I kept watching her from there like a heartless man. Then she lifted his red face from crying and wiped her eyes with her hand. Then she just walked away as nothing happened. 

Everything around me was continuing to flow normally. School's going at a regular speed. We were hanging out with Petra and Erwin every day. I kept watching (Y/N) every day. I went back to my old, uncheerful, horrible moods. Some days I was drinking like crazy again. I was thinking about her every day, but I wasn't talking to anyone about her. I missed her a lot, but I was still too angry also I didn't leave my job at her school. I couldn't see her anymore, but I couldn't destroy the bridges between me and her. Or was I still dreaming of being with her? She didn't even love you! 

That's how the days went on. A few weeks later it was the day that Erwin and I were working at the emergency department. I was with the doctor who was dealing with a patient who complained about his stomach. The patient had a problem with indigestion. After we dealt with the patient's problem, we were going to another patient. Right then, I got my eye on Erwin. He was with Hange, and they were talking to a someone on a gurney. Suddenly we catch each other's eyes with the person sitting on the gurney. At that moment, I dropped a few files in my hand and stared at (Y/N) with my eyes wide open. She was right in front of me. She had a white-thronged sweater and his brown curly hair was falling on her shoulders also her pink lips were like she hadn't been kissed in days. Suddenly she just turned her head from me and finished staring at me. 

It made my heart fall apart again. I just pick up my files then left. After a while, I went out and sat in front of the emergency door. Patient relatives who saw this man with a doctor's apron and collapsed had their nosy eyes all over me. 

"I sense remorse." I heard Erwin's voice.

I didn't say anything. Yes, I regretted it. I interpreted everything the way I saw it, rightly so. But I never gave him a chance to say something. However, she had the right to, at least once. Now I just wanted to know what was the truth. 

"She came here to remove her plaster." He continued.

"Is she all right? Is she still hurting?" I asked him.

"What exactly are you asking? Her leg or her heart?" 

I didn't answer.

"Okay, They didn't take the plaster out of her foot because she was constantly pushing herself and her bones couldn't heal properly." He said.

If you were with her, you wouldn't let her push herself so hard. 

"Tch..."

"Are you still not going to talk to me? She is missing you. It gets worse as time goes on Levi." Erwin yelled at me.

I didn't answer him, and I stood up then walked away. 

That night, I went to a bar for a drink again. The things Erwin said were wandering in my mind "she is missing you", "she is missing you".  
Why would she miss me? Because she was in love with you, idiot! It was too late, but I still wasn't drunk because of thinking. I paid the check and went out of the bar. There was heavy rain outside, and I didn't have an umbrella. Still, my feet took me to a place I didn't know. I was wet, and that's where I came from, the café where (Y/N) worked. I was surprised to come here first because the café was already closed, but when I looked carefully, I saw two figures talking to each other in front of the cafe. When I approached them to see them closer, I saw these were Mikasa and Eren. I approached them a little bit to hear what they were talking about. 

Eren was down on his knees and yelling. 

"That's Annie, okay? I was tired of you always thinking about me and loving me so much. I ran away later because if you died, I wouldn't take responsibility for you! You wanted me to suffer until I died!"

Then he continued to yell.

" I regret it, Mikasa! I gave a value neither you nor your love! I need you, I love you. " 

Mikasa took a deep breath. 

"Do you know why I attempted to commit suicide, Eren? When I was with you, I thought you were my whole world, and I had forgotten what a vast world it really was. When you left me, you took my life's joy from me. It was like I fell into the void. I was just focusing on you without knowing that there are people who love me so much. 

You were so stupid to see it but your stupidity has opened my eyes. You are a man who can't take responsibility, always escapes from reality. Tell me how long you think you're going to live like this. Why do you keep being a burden to me and others? Did you come here to apologize? Tell me why you're apologizing now? 

But wait, I know. Because you're all alone! There's not a single person around to pick up your ass anymore. 

You were a good person, I thought it would not go on like this. However, you've always been more selfish and a liar. I'm not important anymore. So let's close this up between you and me. You're no longer important to me, Eren, so stop bothering me all the time. Don't come over here and apologize to me when you get bored.  
I have a life that doesn't depend on you like everyone else."

She took one more deep breath. 

" What about that girl? That girl was your closest friend! Sometimes, even when I'm not, she's the one who's helping you. Aren't you ashamed to put her in a position like this? How long have you envied the happiness of others? Talk, you stupid bastard!"

Eren was sitting there with regrets.

"I couldn't handle with her who leave me alone and be with someone else. I was so lonely, I was jealous, okay? I was so drunk, I was so drunk when I went to her, damn it. I was jealous that he loved someone more than me, that he fell in love with someone else, not me. I lost her forever. I ruined her life for myself. Are you happy to hear that now? What do you want me to do? I wish I could get back in time. Then I wouldn't go to her with these diseased thoughts! " He shouted again

I was shocked by what I heard. So Hange, really told me the truth? 

"Don't do anything. Get out and don't come near me or that girl again." 

Then she turned around and left. There was no point in waiting here any longer. I've heard everything I have to hear. What kind of situation was I? Why didn't I let her explain herself once?  
Why couldn't I have trusted her once? Now I just had to think about how I was supposed to pick up this mess. In fact, I had to feel sorry about right now for this big mistake I made but I was going to fix this situation no matter what. I was going to get her heart back no matter what.

Then I called Hange without wasting time.

~~~~~ Your Pov

When Hange came to wake you up in the morning, you were wrapped in Levi's stuff and you were sleeping. 

"Get up, sleepyhead, I don't want you to stay in this room for another day." she opened the curtains.

You were muttering in a sleepy way.

"Why are the stupid man's clothes still here? Pick them up. Look, you're still sleeping."

"Okay Hange, I am awake please don't touch his clothes." You said.

When you were in the kitchen, you saw, she made a nice breakfast for you. You were afraid you haven't wanted to eat anything in days. 

"What do you want to do today? Do you feel like you can walk?" she asked you cheerfully.

"Actually, I was thinking about going back to work today, Hange and I'll compensate for my days off." You said.

"So soon? Are you sure you're feeling okay?"

"I know Hange, you are worried about me. I'm not okay actually. I won't say a lie to you but I have to distract my head a little bit." 

"Just be good, okay. You said me something before. You said if this didn't end well, you'd still be happy for the feelings he gave you. Remember?" 

You nodded.

"Actually, I didn't expect to take a short time that much."

Both of you giggled.

" He'll understand his mistake. Trust me."

You smiled and said "Thank you" for breakfast.

That's how you started working again. You were working on your own group also on the Reiner's group. All your friends were helping you adapt to work again also Hange and Erwin were really helping you get through that case. 

See, you remembered again. It's not possible to forget, though. You waited for Levi for hours also days. You thought, he was gonna come and said to you " Baby, it all was a joke. I love you. How can I break up with you?" But he never came. 

You felt guilty at first. You wondered if you'd really cheated on him. Why did you give Eren so much permission? Why couldn't you have moved? Why didn't you scream? But then you realized that you weren't actually guilty or anything. You never cheated on him, never! You doubted yourself because of the two men's idiotic behaviour. No one had the right to treat you like this when it wasn't your fault. However, you felt upset because the man you loved didn't even listen to you once. He accused you of not love him. That's a lot worse than the accusation of cheating on him. How could he say that after all the time you spent together, after everything you've done together? He never knew you all this time? Everything he said was a lie? Did he ever trust you? You really thought that he wasn't the man you were thinking about.  
He was your safe house, but now he's kicked you out. 

You thought of him when you were out of work every day, going to school, eating. You wondered what he's doing right now. You heard he didn't want to talk to Erwin or Hange. How could he finish it so easily? What if he finds out the truth one day? Were you going to forgive him then? 

When school started, you found more stuff to distract your head. You were going to classes, you were studying more, but your friends were always asking about him. Sometimes they came and told you about his lab work. You were eager to hug him again, to be in the lab with him again, but every day, things were just going to get worse and worse.

One day you had to go to work but instead of it, you took your permission to the day off because you and Hange were going to the hospital to remove the plaster. The doctor filmed your foot, and he said your foot hasn't healed yet, so he said he wanted the plaster to stay a little longer. While you were sitting on a stretcher, discussing them, you suddenly had your eye on the figure in the back of Erwin. 

Levi... 

He opened his icy eyes and looked directly at you. Under his eyes, there were black circles of exhaustion. He was tired, weakened and upset.  
Still, you could feel that you missed him very, very much. When you were looking at each other, you were suddenly filled with mixed feelings. You were mad at him and you felt guilty about him at the same time. That's why you couldn't keep the eye contact with him and turned your head from him. 

You wanted to get out of there now, no matter what. Because it still hurt so much, so much.

You were still thinking about him the other day when you came home from school. You knew he was thinking of you too. Why else would he look so messed up? You didn't know what to do. You felt like a walking dead.

When you finally got home, the house was so quiet. Hange wasn't here yet. You threw your key in the bowl that stands near the door. When you went to your room to change your clothes, you saw someone sitting in your bed. 

Levi slowly stood up. His movements were cautious. You went one step backwards and ran towards the door. You didn't want to see him. You didn't want to talk to him. Was he going to yell at you again? Was he going to tell you it's over again? But the door was locked, and when you were looking for your key, you saw that they weren't there. Then you heard a voice behind the door. That was Hange's voice.

"Please stay there until you solve the problem between you and Levi. Please don't be mad at me."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys!  
> If you have read this section, please read this too. If you're following the story, please write down your comments below. I want to know what you're thinking because I'm so excited. Do you like the story, or is it getting worse?
> 
> Thanks. ^^


	17. Be mine again

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The first song is: Taemin- Back to you  
> The second song is: Zayn- Fool for you

~~~~~Levi's Pov

I was so excited when I heard the door open. It was like I was excited to meet her for the first time. Well, it certainly wasn't the case. Last night I remembered how hard it was for me to explain the situation to Hange and to convince her. No matter how confident I was, I was thinking (Y/N) would never to forgive me now. She had a right. I didn't know what to do in a situation like this. All I know is that I would never stop loving her. Those words would never come out of my mouth so easily. I saw the suitcase I left here, it was closed on the sidelines. She didn't throw it. Is that mean there was still hope?

Her steps were headed for the room, approaching. When she saw me on her bed, she didn't understand I was real or not. I slowly stood up because I didn't know how she would react. Maybe she just jumped in my arms, maybe she missed me too? But no, she stepped back. What the hell was that? Before I even had a chance to get close to her, she went running to the door without looking back. Was she so afraid of me? Did she hate me that much? She didn't love me anymore? When she tried to open the door a few times and looked at her keys but eventually she started to calm down when she heard Hange's voice. She tried to open the door one last time, but she gave up when she realized it wasn't helping. I missed her so much and I wanted her to look at me once, but she wasn't turning back to me.

"(Y/N), I..."

I tried to talk, but she cut me off.

"I don't want to talk today, Levi."

Then she moved into her room without looking at me. What am I supposed to do now? What if she spends the whole day in her room? What if she never wanted to talk to me? At least I thought I'd give her some time this day, and I went to the kitchen to prepare something to eat.

She never left her room until dinner was ready. I thought I'd go and call her, but she probably wouldn't want to eat with me. So I planted a few things in the tray and headed into her room. Hange took the locks of the room doors, her keys, her cell phone. The smart bitch didn't skip any details. I knocked on the door a few times, but I didn't get an answer. Was she asleep or she ran out of the window? I opened the door in a panic. (Y/N)'d be scared, jumped out of bed.

"I'm sorry about that. I thought you ran out of the window or something. Forgive me."

She looked at the window then looked at me. Did she cry? Again the familiar pain entered in my heart.

"I won't run away, Levi. I was just sleeping."

"I made you something to eat. I'll leave it here."

Then I left the room just to avoid bothering her any more. In the evening, she just left her room once to leave her tray in the kitchen and enter the toilet. I suddenly remembered four days of being alone with her in this house. Every day, every night, she was in my arms. We were laughing, making love. Now I'm trying to sleep alone in this cold room. I didn't have a blanket or a pillow because I didn't have the energy to go and take them so I just had to curl up and sleep.

In the morning, I was hurting all over. But I couldn't get cold anymore because I had a blanket on me. I smiled when I saw the blanket.

I wonder if (Y/N) is awake. After I washed my face, I went to her room without making a sound. When I opened the door, she was still asleep. She didn't normally get up this late, but she probably didn't sleep well at night. If she woke up, she'd probably be mad at me, but I didn't care and I sat on the bed. (Y/N) didn't look like an angel when she was sleeping. She'd pull the whole quilt to her head and look like she wasn't breathing. When I remembered that, I smiled again.

I heard she was waking up while I was making something for breakfast. She rubbed her eyes and came to the kitchen.

"You don't have to cook for me all the time," she said.

She took a cup of coffee.

"Please don't drink this when you're hungry."

I took the coffee from her. She stopped for a while.

"Did you plan this in partnership with Hange?"

I nodded and continued to cut cucumbers.

" Go away from here Levi. I don't know why you came back after all this time but I want to leave," she said to me.

I left my stuff on the counter and I turned to her.

" I'm sorry. This door won't open until I get you back. "

"I'm not stuff you can win or lose. Damn it!" she shouted at me.

She's always been kind to me and to others. Now she's yelling at me like that, just showing me how much I hurt her.

" How can you treat like a whore to the woman you said to love her and destroy her trust in you and then you just cut at the fucking cucumber here as nothing happened?"

I couldn't answer her. I just wanted her to throw up her all venom.

"I'm not going to tell you all the things you've made me feel because you already know all about it. I'm going to ask you one thing, you expect me to forgive you?"

I was just looking at her, but my silence made her angrier.

"You just looked at me mercilessly and told me that I fooled you and that I never loved you. That was the worst thing you ever did for me. You took out my heart and there's a void in place because I gave you the love of every piece that was inside of me."

She took a few deep breaths.

"I'm scared of you, do you know? I wonder if you're going to yell at me again, say it's over again, and that's why I'm scared. Every time I look at your face, I think about these things you told me. But I'm not going to do it that you did to me. Because I know you loved me, too."

"(Y/N), I know how much I hurt you, I scare you. If I had the power to take it all back, please, believe me, I wouldn't wait for a little. How I'm the first for you, and you are for me too. I didn't even know how to treat women. I know it's not even an excuse. I loved you so much, there's nothing on earth that I can compare (Y/N)."

I wanted to approach her and caress her cheek with my hand, but she pushed my hand.

"Baby, when I thought I lost you, I lost myself.I'm sorry I wasn't there for you when you were hurting. I can't say anything else (Y/N). I've done a lot of things I shouldn't have. I gave you some very bad feelings, but I can give you a promise, I will never doubt you and your love, our love, again.

When he looked at me with his full eyes and her broken heart, I felt that same pain again. I didn't want to feel this stupid pain anymore. I suddenly found myself kneeling in front of her

"Baby, please help me. I don't know how can you forgive me. I want you to smile again, I want to get your heart kicked again, and I don't want you to be afraid of me anymore. Baby, I want you to touch me with your love again. Please help me."

When I felt the wetness in my eyes, she kneeling like me, wiping the tears of my eyes with her kind hands. For the first time in days, I felt the warmth of her. She looked into my eyes, she was crying.

"I'm sorry, baby. Please, I fucking regret it."

She buried her head on my shoulder, and I hugged her waist. When she wrapped her arms around my neck, I held her tighter. I haven't felt this happy in days. I was starting to breathe again. We stayed that way for a while. Then she whispered in my ear.

"Everything's not going to be the same right now, you know that, don't you?"

This time I could touch her face then I nodded her.

~~~~~ Your Pov

It was the morning of the day that you and Levi had back together again for about a month. Your relationship was still out of the past. But for that, you were both struggling. At least all those bitter, painful days were over. The plaster on your foot was out and he was still part of your life. You didn't think you could forgive him at first, but you couldn't throw him off like that. He deserved another chance and you trusted him. You sure he was going to use that chance well.

You woke up early in the morning with a music sound that wasn't clear where it came from. It was a warm March. Today, the school was cancelled due to national holidays, so you weren't planning on getting up early. You waited for the music to end, but it didn't. You tried to get up from the bed and figure out where it came from. Then you realized that it was one of your favourite songs that you listened to Levi yourself.

~~~~~

_I was nothing_  
_Before you held me_  
_Through you, I slowly realized_  
_That I’m a pretty decent guy_

_But I didn’t know this_  
_That all the breakup songs_  
_Would be such painful words_

_You were the dream I dreamed_  
_The breath I breathed_  
_The world I saw, listened, felt and believed in has disappeared_  
_What I can do to get back to you_

_I’ll go back before it’s too late_  
_so will you open up a little for me?_  
_Nights without you are too long_  
_I hate promises that aren’t really promises_  
_Wake me up with your warm lips, just like always_

_I’ll toss and turn_  
_In between longing and misery_  
_Because I don’t belong anywhere_

_You were the dream I dreamed_  
_The breath I breathed_  
_The world I saw, listened, felt and believed in has disappeared_  
_What I can do to get back to you_

_all the memories get far away_  
_Contrary to what I want_  
_I hope you’re still standing there_

_Girl, I just miss you_  
_Your embrace that I lived in_  
_The world I saw, listened, felt and believed in has disappeared_  
_What I can do to get back to you_  
_To get back to you_  
_Back to you_

~~~~~

What the hell was that? Even if you were sleepy, you had a smile on your face. You listened to the end of the song, but when the song replayed back, you had to find out where it came from. At that exact moment, you found a note on the table with nice writing. That was Levi's writing.

~~~~~

_If you found this note, you're awake. Baby, I'm sorry I woke you up early. I'm going to help you find out where the music came from, but I suddenly realized I didn't bring you back the black t-shirt and short you lent me._

~~~~~

You were confused when you were looking at this meaningless note. He said he was going to help you but he didn't. Who cares about the stupid short? You still got up and headed towards the wardrobe. When you opened the door to the wardrobe, you immediately saw a hanging shirt and short, and the phone in short's pocket didn't run out of your sight. When you picked up the phone to turn off the music, you suddenly got a message from the phone. You opened the message and started reading.

~~~~~

_You'll be out in a minute. Wash your face, go to the kitchen and don't think it's absurd._

~~~~~

You smiled when you read the note. What was this guy trying to do? But whatever he was trying to do, he started to excite you. You did as he said, and you went to the kitchen. A breakfast tray was prepared for you on the kitchen counter. You were so surprised and happy. You were laughing at what he did. You took the tray and saw an envelope underneath it. After you left the tray on the table, you grabbed the envelope and opened it.

~~~~~

_After your breakfast, put on some comfortable, tight clothes. Don't be fooled, it's cold outside. You're going to get a little tired today. Get in the taxi waiting downstairs when you are ready. Fulfil the duties given to you._

_And don't cheat!_

~~~~~

You were still laughing when you read the letter. You couldn't believe he really did this. What does he mean, "you'll be tired today?" It wasn't time to linger, there was a taxi waiting for you downstairs. When you had your breakfast, you thought it was just like the first day. He stole your cab, but now he's paying you back. You couldn't help yourself, and you laughed again. You were quick to get ready and come down. A taxi is really waiting for you here.

"I'm so sorry I kept you waiting." You said to the taxi driver.

"It's all right. Your friend said that before. I'll accompany you to where you're going today." He said.

"I'm sorry but I don't know where I have to go."

He smiled.

"Don't worry, I know. And here it's. This is for you. Take it."

The cab driver handed over an envelope to you. You opened the envelope without wasting time.

~~~~~

_Baby, you must be in a cab right now. This uncle will accompany you today. So don't be nervous. The first mission is an easy one. You have to go where the taxi driver takes you. They are going to inform you where you're going. And you finish each task from within the envelope you'll get some surprises. You're going to need them so don't lose them._

_I love you._

~~~~~

You smiled. You really couldn't believe he spent all this effort. You turned toward the window your head and started thinking about it. It's really hard to forgive him for you. You cried a lot and your heart was broken. If you'd believe it won't change, I really couldn't forgive him but you were here right now. He wanted to make you happy because he cared about you. He had planned all those things. God, this guy really was surprising to you. You felt happy and by the end of the evening, you just wanted to see him.

The taxi stopped in front of a building. You thanked the taxi driver then you went out of the cab. The building that you stopped in front of it was a painting course. You were surprised. You thought whether you were a true or wrong place. A few months ago, Levi had found your scribbles so you talked to him about it. He insisted you go and find a course but you said you didn't have time for it. If he was doing what you thought... You decided to go in and learn the answer. You approached the secretary sitting at the table at the entrance with smiling.

" Hello. My name is (Y/N)/ (L/N). I'm not sure but my friend told me to come here."

The secretary smiled at you.

" Yes, nice to mee you (Y/N). A few days ago, your friend came here and got information about the course. He said you didn't get the first step. But it's okay. Come, I'll meet you with our teacher."

The meeting with the teacher went very well. The fact that you didn't have time was your excuse, and Levi knew it. Actually, you just couldn't trust yourself. You thought you weren't going to catch up with other students and you were drawing ugly. On the other hand, you were just going to do it for the hobby, to learn something new. So it was pointless to be afraid. There was also no special skill required for the course. You immediately set up the appropriate hours and registered for the course. You were filled with incredible happiness. Thanks to Levi, you tore down your own walls.

When you said good day to the secretary and you were out of the building, she stopped you.

"Wait for a second, please. I have to give you this."

She handed you an envelope again. This envelope was a little thicker than the other. You took the envelope with a smile and opened it. There were a note and a photo from inside the envelope. It was a picture of the day you went shopping with Levi a this New Year's Eve. You didn't realize he was taking pictures of you. It was such a funny picture that you couldn't help but laugh. Then you started to read a note.

~~~~~

_Here's your first surprise. Baby, how are you feeling? I hope you're not mad at me for doing this unannounced and you are happy. Now for your second mission. The taxi didn't wait for you and left because you were wasting too much time in there. That's why you're going to walk. When you come down, just turn right and move forward._

_Don't stop._

~~~~~

You had a meaningless smile on your face. You looked at the photo again. You were wondering what more to do. Even this much is enough for you. You put the picture and the note in your bag and went in the direction he said. After ten minutes of walking, you saw a group of children who sit on the sidewalk with their instruments. Their age was small and they were having fun with their music. When you were about to go through them, they grabbed your hand and put you in their game. You were surprised but it was a beautiful environment. Also, you loved the kids and you didn't turn them down, then you started dancing with them. One of them gave you a tiara made of pink flowers. You accepted it with a smile and put it in your head. Again, a sweet little boy grabbed your hand and brought you in front of a building and handed you an envelope. You thought the kids were there by chance. You thanked the little boy and stroked his head then took the envelope. This time, you had a photo taken while you were sleeping from the envelope. You couldn't believe this. When did he take these photos?

~~~~~

_I look forward to the days when you dance with our own children in our garden. Here's a hard mission for you. Baby, this store has agreed to give me a discount. Please go in and see if you like anything._

~~~~~

You laughed when you read the note. He's already done so much, you didn't want to burden him anymore but at least you went upstairs to complete the mission. When you entered the store, you started looking at something. They had nice clothes. You wanted to get out of here without wasting time because you weren't going to buy anything. When you were about to leave the store, an employee called you.

" You must be the Miss (Y/N)."

You looked at him with surprise and shook my head.

"Please follow me. Your friend said you wouldn't choose anything yourself, so we chose something for you together, so I hope you like it."

He handed you a small package. There was an envelope on the package again. You started opening the package first. You were so shocked when you saw what they chose. It was a flowered dress like the one you wore the night you first met with him. You were so happy that he hadn't forgotten that. You were about the cry.

"I like that a lot. Thank you so much." You said to the employee.

He smiled at you too then you opened the envelope. This time you got a picture of when you went skiing. You fell and you were buried in the snow, but you were laughing. You were trying to keep yourself from crying. Then you started reading the note.

~~~~~

_I didn't let you eat ice cream that day but I'll let you do it today. On the other hand, my choice still neither chocolate nor ice cream. My choice is still on your side. There's an ice cream shop at the end of the street, so hurry up and eat slowly._

~~~~~

You kept your way to the ice cream shop without wasting time. When you were walking you thought that's what you were talking about that day. You asked him exactly that question... You felt you were the most glorious woman in the world right now. You came in into the ice cream shop and ordered yourself an ice cream. Even though it was cold, you liked to eat ice cream.

When you went to the vault to pay the bill, the seller said it was already paid and he gave you an envelope. You took the envelope and thanked him. This time, you found a picture when you were reading a book in the school library. You thought it was a day you waited for Levi, judging by what you were wearing. But he never walking in or you thought like that. You smiled again because these photos are so cute. You opened the note.

~~~~~

_Baby, it looks like uncle cabbie regretted leaving you and he came back. Get in the car and watch where he is going to take you?_

~~~~~

You saw the cab driver waiting for you outside and you waved at him. He left you in front of a bookstore. When you saw what he did, you started smiling again and you wanted to buy the books on your list while you were here. You looked for your list and found the first book on it from the shelf. When you opened it, a little pink flower fell inside.

" You are joking Levi!" You were told by yourself then smiled and put the book down.

You found your second book on your list and the pink flower fell from it too. He clearly found your list. You couldn't help yourself and you started laughing. Then you heard a familiar song at the bookstore.

~~~~~

_This love is tainted_  
_I need you and I hate it_  
_You're caught between a dream and a movie scene_  
_In a way, you know what I mean_  
_When the darts just miss, I just can't resist it_

_'Cause I'm a fool for you_  
_And the things you do_  
_I'm a fool for you_  
_And the things, the things you do_  
_The things you do_  
_The things you do_

_When you're looking like this_  
_I just can't resist it_  
_I know sometimes I hide it_  
_But I can't this time 'cause it's gonna defeat me_  
_But if you won't believe me_  
_Believe me_

_'Cause I'm a fool for you and the things you do_  
_I'm a fool for you and the things, the things you do_

_I know_  
_I…_

~~~~~

Levi loved the books and one day you were in the bookstore again and you showed him the album with this song. It was as if he acted irrelevant at the time but you guessed not. You started crying again but you didn't want to spoil the day. You just wiped your eyes out. You wanted to see that album again. You found it as easy as it was out there. When you picked up the album, you saw an envelope stuck behind it. You couldn't help yourself and you laughed again. You found one more photo from the envelope. This time you were eating a pizza and there was gravy on the side of your mouth. Why did he take this photo, you were so ugly. You started to laugh again when you started to read the note.

~~~~~

_I don't know why are you listening to more handsome singers than me but this album is yours._

_Are you hungry?_

~~~~~

The cab driver left you in front of a Japanese restaurant. You always said to him, you wanted to try Japanese cuisine but that's a time never came. But today he made time for you to do this. You tried different dishes you never tried before and you loved miso soup the most. The foods were very light but you felt you were full. Today was a really different day. You wanted to come here with Levi one day.

When dinner was over, you asked the waiter for a bill but instead of the bill, the waiter gave you an envelope. This time there was no picture of it but instead of it, there was a visitor's card. A nursing home visitor's card.

~~~~~

_Now it's time to burn some calories. You'll need your voice. I think you'll like it. Go and spend some time with them._

~~~~~

You couldn't believe it. This was the best surprise that Levi's ever done to you today. You always wanted to read to the elderly people. You even wanted to do it regularly but somehow you never found time again. You were so happy when you were on your way. When you reach the nursing home, show your card to the nurse. She took you to where the event was made and gave you some information. The people there were very affectionate to you. When you had done reading a book, you spend a little more time with them. They really needed to talk and love. After that, you had put your mind to coming here regularly. At that time an old uncle approached you.

" The other day, a young man came here that would suit you. He told us about you. He said he broke your heart and he wanted to fix it again. Well, we gave him some advice. Here's yours."

"Thank you so much for that and for the advice you gave him "

You smiled at him and took the envelope from him.

~~~~~

_Baby, I hope you won't leave me and start hooking up with the uncle that gave this note to you. If you didn't decide something like this, are you ready to come to me now?_

~~~~~

You smiled and you got on the cab again. Taxi driver left you in a place where found the seaside and far from the city. Sun is almost set. Levi had not yet come. You just sat there and started waiting for him. Suddenly you noticed a rope that it shouldn't be here. You held the rope. End of the rope was going to where you couldn't see so you decided to follow the rope. The end of the rope took you to an open area between the rocks. Someone decorated this area with pillows for you and you knew who is this. There was a thick notebook and it's under there was a box in the middle of the area. You approached and you saw it was not a notebook it was a photo album. Also, there was one more note in there for you.

~~~~~

_I won't tire you anymore. Here is my last mission for you babe. You have to place all the pictures from the envelopes in the album one by one. But please baby one by one, be patient and the key to my heart is yours again._

_Love you._

~~~~~

As he said, you put the pictures you took out of your bag in the album one by one. On the one hand, you were thinking about the day you lived. Wherever he was, Levi was able to come here right away. When you opened the page to replace the last photo, you saw a key that was placed there. That key was able to be the key to the box. You put the photo and opened the box. More pictures welcomed you when you opened the box. That was pretty surprising because the photos were from today. When you were in the cab, at the course, when you were with the kids, when you saw your new dress, when you listened to your favourite song, he was watching you at any moment. At the end of the photos, there was something you never expected. It was a photo but this time, not yours. This photo took when Levi was a little boy. The same black hair, same sulky expression and dissatisfied look. This kid grew up to be this guy you met right now. You wanted to hold on yourself but tears were already flowing. It was like all the things that had happened in the last months became your tears. At last, that pair of arms you were waiting for is hugged you.

"I didn't want you to cry that much."

"I know baby."

You turned back to him. He was holding you tight. Then you kissed him after so many separate days and he kissed you deeply. You remembered the nights you spent with him, you remembered his touch. You didn't want to stay away from him anymore.

"Thank you, Levi. This is what you did today... I was the happiest woman in the world today. I can't find anything to say."

"Just tell me you love me."

You giggled and he continued.

"And tell me you won't listen to handsome singers anymore."

You giggled again.

" I love you baby but I will continue to listen to all the handsome singers."

Now, that rocky area was your secret place anymore. You spent all night there. Levi gave you a memorable day. His heart had become your home again.


	18. Hometown

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This song: Jason Mraz- 93 Million Miles

~~~~~ One Year Later

"You're a boring man." You said to Levi.

Levi was interested in his own computer because he had reports to prepare. He was getting a little busier every year. However, he was constantly pushing himself because he felt responsible for everything. Isabel started the vet school here this year. Levi and you were very proud of her. That's why she started living here now. Isabel was upset about leaving with Farlan. She wanted him to live here, but Farlan had a life there with the girl he loved. Also, Levi and Erwin had two years left to finish their school, and Hange graduated from school last year and started this year's graduate degree. So she was still staying with you. You were in the last class this year. That's why you had a thesis to finish this year. When school was over, you thought to start a graduate degree. You actually had to study abroad, but you didn't take a serious step for it now. But instead of working, you put your face on Levi's back right now, and you were hugging him from behind in the bed because you wanted to let yourself go.

"At least I'm not lazy like you." He said to you.

You showed displeasure. You stayed with Levi last night because he had been struggling with his insomnia lately again. You had one of his clothes on because you and Levi were a little naughty last night. You moved your body closer to him and started kissing his neck.

"What are you doing?" He asked you.

You giggled. In fact, you didn't want his attention also you didn't want to act like a spoiled child. Of course, you wanted him to finish his work in time, but you thought he was pushing himself too hard. Well, at least you wanted him to take a break, but he seemed to have no intention of it. He turned to you and kissed your lips.

"Do you want attention?" He asked you with a smirk.

"No, I'm going to leave soon," you said and got up from the bed.

" Baby, I have to prepare these stuff, you know."

" Okay, Levi just stay here and eat yourself."

For a few seconds, he followed you while you were packing. Then he got up too and hold your hands and stopped you.

"Wait for a second, I need to say something to you ."

You looked at him with the questioning eyes.

"I don't want you to have any business in two weeks. Did you get it? I'm going to take you somewhere. It's going to be a long trip."

You couldn't understand what he was talking about but then you smiled at him.

"Are you going to surprise me for my birthday?"

He smiled.

"I see you're used to surprises."

Then he approached you and whispered your ear.

"I didn't realize it's your birthday."

He was so close to you. Suddenly your heart started beating fast, but he wasn't willing to go any further. He was just playing games with you.

"Now, go and make sure you get all your work done."

You smiled and kissed his cheek. Then you kept your way home.

~~~~~

"You'd better hurry up. Looks like he's going to leave you now."

Hange called you looking through the window.

"He didn't say where we were going. It was hard to get ready, so."

You were muttering when you left your room. Hange turned her head to you and she seemed a little thoughtful.

" I'm not sentimental (Y/N), but this is the first time we'll stay away, you know."

As much as you loved Levi and wanted to live with him, you were always asking the same question from somewhere in your heart. Did you want to end your life, here with Hange? The answer was always the same: Nope. After a while, you knew she wanted to go like everyone else, but you didn't want it. Wherever she went, your friendship would always remain the same but the life you lived here was very valuable for you and when Hange stopped and asked you that, you realized the situation was the same for her too. Even if you didn't want to be selfish for each other, you didn't really wish to leave each other.  
You couldn't help yourself and run to Hange and hugged her.

" If we have to leave this house one day, I want our future homes to be next to each other," you said to her.

" I don't want to be scolded by Levi for not painting the fences of our garden," she said.

Then you both laughed.

" So we can paint together!" You offered to her.

"Deal!"

You hugged each other again.

"Come back soon, okay?

You nodded then you took your purse and went out of the house. Levi seemed really bored when you got in the car. You kissed his cheek.

"I was going to go to the police station and report a missing person if you were a little later."

You giggled.

"You know, you're exaggerating. You don't tell me where to go, and I can't decide what to wear, that's all."

"Come on, baby, I told you we're not going anywhere you need to dress up special."

You were confused. As the car kept moving, you thought for a few minutes.

 

"I still want to look good to you. Also sexy of course."

You had your voice down to the end of the sentence but he still heard you. He started grinning with what he heard. He was going to play with you again.

"So you're going to have sex with me where we went?"

 

You soured and turned your head to the car's window to hide your red cheeks.

"No, I've changed my mind." You replied to him.

 

"What do you say we stop the car and do something in the car?" He was still playing with you.

"I say fuck off."

He looked at you and laughed.

"We're going to Farlan's house."

 

Suddenly you turned back to him with your eyebrows lifted.

"Are you serious? Are you taking me to your birthplace!"

He smiled and nodded you.

" Now that you've learned where we're going, will you have sex with me?

At that moment, you forgot how it was dangerous and you embraced him tightly.

"Shut up!" you yelled at him with a laugh.

You were on your way in the morning, on the other hand, you were probably going to be there by nightfall. A long and enjoyable journey was waiting for you. You opened the windows and let the smell of spring come in. When the cool air hit your face, music was playing on the radio.

 

~~~~~

 

_93 million miles from the sun,_  
_People get ready to get ready,_  
_'Cause here it comes_  
_It's a light, a beautiful light,_  
_Over the horizon into our eyes_  
_Oh, my how beautiful,_

_Oh my beautiful mother_  
_She told me, "Son in life you're gonna go far,_  
_If you do it right you'll love where you are._  
_Just know,_  
_Wherever you go,_  
_You can always come home."_

_240 thousand miles from the moon,_  
_We've come a long way to belong here,_  
_To share this view of the night,_  
_A glorious night,_  
_Over the horizon is another bright sky_  
_Oh, my how beautiful,_

_Oh, my irrefutable father,_  
_He told me, "Son sometimes it may seem dark,_  
_But the absence of the light is a necessary part._  
_Just know,_  
_You're never alone,_  
_You can always come back home."_

_Home, home._

_You can always come back_

_Every road is a slippery slope_  
_There is always a hand that you can hold on to._  
_Looking deeper through the telescope_  
_You can see that your home's inside of you._

_Just know,_  
_That wherever you go,_  
_No, you're never alone,_  
_You will always get back home_

_Home, home_

_93 million miles from the sun,_  
_People get ready to get ready,_  
_'Cause here it comes_  
_It's a light,_  
_A beautiful light,_  
_Over the horizon into our eyes._

~~~~~

The place you came from really looked like a poor neighbourhood. The boys were playing on the roads, and most of them didn't even have shoes. It upset you. The local shopkeepers in the street were about to close. When you look at Levi 's face, you've seen an expression you've never seen before. He seemed more confident to you and as if he knows every way and people you passed. It was so obvious, it was his house. He was trying to make you part of his own world, his own home. You were starting to watch the outside again and imagined that Levi had been through these paths when he was a child.

 

In a short time, you passed another neighbourhood that was a little better than the first place you saw. There were no kids playing outside, and the houses were more caring. Then you stopped by a blue apartment. Levi turned to you.

"Farlan wanted us to stay here with him tonight, but I want to show you some places tomorrow, so we're not staying here tomorrow. We'll get back to Farlan again after we finished our job again, okay?

You nodded to him. Levi took your bags then rang the bell. Soon the door opened. You met Farlan's smiling face when you went up the stairs. When you walked in, Levi put the bags aside and hugged Farlan. Then Farlan hugged you.

"Good to see you guys. Let's go to the table, I made you dinner."

Farlan was recently separated from her girlfriend. That's why he was depressed. He also had some problems with his work too. After dinner, we all gathered the table. You wanted Levi and Farlan to spend more time, so you offered to wash the dishes myself.

When you came back inside, Levi was trying to persuade Farlan to live with him. When you joined the conversation, it took some time first but eventually he accepted the idea. Levi's long-time struggle was finally over. He would now be able to build a better future for his brother and sister also live with them. You feel so happy for them, but the long way has exhausted you. Farlan, who saw you stretching, showed you where to sleep. Levi and Farlan wanted to sit down for a while. You said goodnight to both of them and kissed Levi. When you were ready to go to bed, you never resisted sleeping. You guess it was too late that you felt a pair of arms graspin' your waist, but you kept to sleep anyway.

 

In the morning, although Levi was late, he woke up early and was preparing something in the kitchen.

"You're up early again." You said and kissed his cheek.

He looked at you differently and smiled. What the hell was that? Then you realized that he made some pancakes. When you reached the plate to get one, he took a pancake instead of you and started to feed you.

"Did you like it?"

You nodded because your mouth was full. He smiled and kissed your mouth.

"Happy birthday to my baby." He said.

When you swallowed your mouth, you hugged him and started kissing him.

" Thank you so much, Levi."

You started making the breakfast table together until Farlan woke up. When Farlan woke up, you had breakfast together. It was a pleasant morning. You were eating and talking. Farlan was a very gentle boy. He passed a lot of bad things, but he didn't stop being a good person.  
If Levi had tried to bring home money, Farlan assumed the role of mother of this house. It must have been hard to undertake such great things at such a young age. That's why you were so happy to have him come with you. According to Levi, you were going to take Farlan with you on your way back tomorrow morning. You left the apartment at noon. Because Levi wanted to show you around. Although the weather was sunny, it was damp. You didn't want it to rain today. Levi first showed you the school he went to with Erwin. He started telling you everything like he's been living his memories again. You felt so happy listening to his memories because Levi was smiling. You rarely saw him smiling like that. He had a memory of every street, every corner, every shopkeeper. Levi introduced you to some of the people he knew earlier. You thought if he had a family, Levi would be a very different person. He was the street man, that's what made him Levi. By nightfall, Levi took you somewhere out of the village. This area was a poorer place than any other place you've ever seen. You wouldn't want to wander around here alone, but Levi was there for you, so you weren't afraid. You finally stood in front of a ruined house. Nobody lived in this House, obviously. Because of the rain, the house's boards were lifted and the street boys had written all over the house.

"This was our house." He said to you.

He was looking at the house without taking his eyes. Well, your guess was that he had both very bad and relatively beautiful memories in there. Levi cared about memories. It broke his heart that everything was lost. You kept his hand tighter. Suddenly, the rain started to gently drizzle.

"I've got one last place to take you." He whispered to you.

You've entered a wooded area not far from here. You were afraid of the dark, so you kept her hand tighter. Suddenly he turned to you.

"Don't worry, you'll be fine when I'm around."

You smiled at him.

The rain was speeding, but the weather was still warm. You walked a little longer and came to the door of a wooden house, but you were already wet. And yet you were with him, and the things you did together today were very enjoyable. He pulled a key out of his pocket and opened the door to the house and you got into the house together. The house was very simple. There was a bed table, a chair, a fireplace and of course a bookshelf. You didn't know this house before, but you never surprised.

 

"Do you like it here?"

"When did you do this?" You asked him.

He approached you and started to take off your wet clothes.

"I think my first high school year ."

He replied to you then he held you in his lap and laid you in bed. Her hair soaked in the rain and it looked more black. His wet clothes made you desire him more.

He whispered in your ear again.

"Baby, many happy returns. I'm going to fuck you so hard tonight."

~~~~~~  
You woke up with the sound of the phone ringing in the middle of the night. Levi didn't hear the sound, he was still asleep. You were still in that wooden house and you could hear the rain. You were so afraid of the night-time calls. They wouldn't say good things. You were scared, but you still looked at the caller number. It was Farlan who was calling. You were a little relieved and opened the phone.

"Hey Farlan, what's up."

"Ma'am, is this Levi Ackerman's phone?"

That wasn't Farlan's voice. There was something wrong with that.

"I'm waking him up right now. Wait please."

You approached the figure that sleeping next to you and gently awakened him. He looked at you with questioning eyes and he took the phone from your hand. He didn't even talk once on the phone, he was just listening. His eyes were getting darker. Something was going on. Then he just hung up and got out of bed. He started wearing his clothes in a hurry.

"Levi, what is going on? Levi!"

You shouted at him because he didn't listen to you as if he wasn't with you.

"Call Erwin. Say him come and get you out of here. I'm going to the police station."

Then he took a deep breath. Then he looked at you with his icy blue eyes.

"They said Farlan is dead, (Y/N)."


	19. The leaf swinging in the wind

~~~~~ Levi's Pov

 

I woke up when (Y/N) slowly shaking me. I couldn't open my eyes because I just woke, however, I was seeing her anxious face with the moonlight floating inside. The voice on the phone asked me whether I was Levi Ackerman or wasn't. I took the phone away from my ear and looked for the caller. The name on the phone was Farlan, but it wasn't his voice. I confirmed the man on the phone without wasting time.

The first thing that came to mind was that Farlan lost his phone but in the middle of the night, the night of my best day, just as I thought everything was going to be okay in my life, the guy on the phone told me my brother was dead. The guy kept talking, I listened to him. Althought I was just listening to what was said, I didn't really understand. The words the man said were wandering in my mind, and they were blurring my vision. Suddenly I felt (Y/N)'s anxious gaze on me. She wondered what was going on. The truth was, I didn't understand what was going on too. I couldn't take the guy on the phone seriously, I thought he was looking for the wrong person. I wanted to hang up the phone and go back to my peaceful bed but the guy on the phone raised his voice like he wanted to make sure I understood him and asked me to come to the police station. I hung up the phone. Even though I had hundreds of thoughts in my head, my body was moving spontaneously. When my hand reached my newly dried pants on the ground, my brain began to focus on the sounds of rain outside. As if this was the first thing I needed to think about, I thought "What an annoying sound." Maybe that's the last sound my brother heard.

I suddenly came back to reality with (Y/N) was yelling at me. The reality that I didn't want to be true. When I was trying to put my pants on, I was trying to get my sentences together. I asked her to call Erwin and tell him to come and get her. She was staring at me with eyes waiting for me to explain something but I just didn't have the guts to say it out loud. Suddenly I realized I didn't want her to get into things that were going to happen because I was slowly understanding what happened. The police officer didn't call the wrong person. My brother was killed by someones or someone tonight and was found dead in his home. That's why I didn't want her to be here. She should have gone far away from me. Now. I told her I'd always be there for her, so she didn't have to be afraid. How funny. I didn't even have the strength to protect her right now. I took a deep breath to calm down and started talking.

"They said Farlan is dead, (Y/N)."

She opened her eyes in terror and closed her mouth with her hands then, she took the clothes on the floor and started dressing up. I didn't remember how I had to reach the police station on that rainy night. I was surprised and angry when I saw her standing right behind me. Because I didn't even realize she was behind me. My brain was stuck in some crazy stuff to get away from my current situation. A normal person was able to feel a sense of gratitude for his lover to be with him and support him but I didn't even look back once we went through all the dark roads. All I wanted right now was for Erwin to come and pick her up.

I went through the police station in my wet clothes and told my name and surname to the counselling department. A few minutes later the woman who stood there looked at me with a sore eye and gave me a badge. She said she'd accompany me to where I had to go. When she got up from her desk, I remembered I had to say something to my scared-shivering girlfriend there. When I approached her, the words didn't come out of my mouth.

"Wait here for Erwin, (Y/N). I'm coming in."

Suddenly, her tears began to flow. I wish I could cry like her too.

"Baby, you don't have to be alone. You don't have to take all this alone. Let me come with you." she was begging me.

God, my brother died alone, of course, I was going to face this alone. I left her there without saying anything, and I started following the female police. As I walked down the aisle, I could feel every step of the way and hear the conversations of the people we passed. I was afraid of what I'd learn in a moment.

My whole life was around here, but I still didn't like hospitals and police stations. Every step I had, something snapped out of me, and it was thrown out. I felt no pain or sadness anymore, I was empty and the corridor was growing in front of me like it was never going to end. For a moment, I just remembered Farlan's smile. When I first met him, he was a quiet but fearless boy. He was as good at stealing and running as I was. We soon became a good team with him, but he didn't have a heart as hard as me. He didn't like what we did, and he could feel his joy and sadness all over his body. Even though we came from a very poor neighbourhood, he was no different than a gentleman. He was also much more handsome and mature than me. For a brother, your sister and brother had different places. Farlan lived miles away from me, but he was my branch, my strength. He was my childhood I never lived and the family I never had. Oh, my God, you should have taken my life instead of him. Then I remembered what we talked about on the roof that night. The summer of the year I won college was a cool night. The three of us used to come up here and sit around all night. I was always the most annoying, the most realistic of all the three of us. Isabel was my complete opposite from me and Farlan was in the middle of both of us. We were looking into the starry sky together.

"When my brother goes there, he'll have lots of handsome friends. Oh, I want to meet them right away!"

Farlan laughed at the Isabel. I started to mix the hair of Isabel. I've loved her like that since she was little. Then we started looking at the sky together again. It was like our eyes were looking for something.

"Let's not split off from each other till we die, Levi." Suddenly Farlan said.

At that moment, I and Isabel didn't understand why he became so serious suddenly but when I was waiting at the entrance to the room full of police, and I understood why now. He did not want to leave his brother and sister, he did not wish to be separate from them and had no desire to build a different life from them. He still lives in that damn place because he didn't want to bury his memories. Our memories. However, the memories of all of us flew away with him now.

 

The policewoman took me to the table of a crowded police group. There were officers running around all the time. The crime in the fucking village never ended. One of them got up and shook my hand and showed me where could I sit. This guy probably knew Farlan. In this little place, everyone knew each other, though. The person on the table, who was in charge, glanced at my clothes.

"Sir, are you feeling well?" He asked me.

I was staring at him with empty eyes, and I ignored his question.

"How do you know it was murder? My brother has no enemies. How do you know it's not suicide?" I asked them.

My voice was unfeeling. It surprised the people who were sitting around me.

" Before we explain the case to you in detail, we need to ask you and your girlfriend a few questions, Mr Ackerman."

I was angry. I couldn't stop her from getting her into this.

"(Y/N)/(L/N). She's waiting in front of the counselling department right now. " I said them.

When the guy in front of me started asking me questions, another one moved out to bring her here.

"Mr Ackerman, what exactly was your relationship with Mr Church?"

He was my brother, dummy.

"He was my uncle's, also my guardian, dead wife's child. So my uncle's stepson."

He was muttered like a confirmation from, and he was also taking notes on the paper he was holding.

"Do you have any idea where your uncle is now?"

"He's in jail for murder."

The man muttered as he understood.

"According to the neighbours' testimony, you and your girlfriend stayed at Mr Chruch's house last night. Is that true? Why did you go there and you stayed there for only one day?"

I looked at him like I wanted to show him how stupid the question he asked me.

"Farlan is my brother. I haven't seen him in a long time. That's why we went to visit him with my girlfriend, but we couldn't stay there too long because we were both students."

The police kept taking notes.

"Where were you the night Mr Church was killed?" He asked me.

Yes, where was I the night my brother was killed and what was I doing? That's the question I was most afraid of answering right now.

"It was my girlfriend's birthday yesterday. That's why I wanted to spend a good night with her. Just outside the city, I have a wooden house in a wooded area near the house where we used to live with Farlan. My girlfriend and I were there all night. We were planning to return to Farlan tomorrow morning."

The guy said his questions were over after he finished taking notes. That moment (Y/N) came along. The police officer gave her a blanket. She was buried in a blanket like a little girl. She was probably very cold. She looked at me first then she sat in the chair next to me. The cops didn't take him to another room to ask questions. It was weird because if there was a murder, we were supposed to be suspects as the last to see Farlan. Did that actually indicate that the killer was already known?

 

He asked her the same questions that asked me. Even though (Y/N) was frightened, it couldn't be understood by her voice. She answered questions with great calm. When the police officer finished his questions, he turned to me.

"Mr Levi, first of all, in this case, I want you to maintain your calm. Like one o'clock in the night, the neighbour sitting on the lower floor of Mr Church woke up from the noise came from above. He didn't know what it was because he just woke up, and soon after, the voices were cut. The neighbour didn't feel comfortable and wanted to check if Mr Church was okay. That's how Mr Church's lifeless body was found."

I was just listening to what the man said. I knew the person who did this so the things the man said to me didn't mean anything to me.

"The person who committed the murder, interestingly, did not force himself to not to leave evidence. Unfortunately, your uncle is not in prison as you predicted. He was evacuated a month ago."

The police took a break from their own words and pulled out a piece of paper in half of their files. It was written "for Levi " on the paper.

"Kenny."

I muttered when I took the paper from the police.

 

~~~~~

_Did you like the surprise? I kept my promise, you see?_

_Uncle Kenny's back, bitch._

~~~~~

This letter-breaking thing took me back to the old times. In the old times, my mother still lived.  
As I recall, my mother used to cut my hair. One day she said that my hair was too long and she put me in front of her.

" You always pull at my hair when you cut my hair and it hurts! " I said to her.

She smiled at me and she promised me to be more careful at this time. She also promised me to make me more handsome. But she couldn't keep her word again and the scissors are stuck between my hair so I'm hurt again. She looked at me when she was finished. Everything she said to me was still on my mind.

" It's true that you look handsome now. Almost like an angel," she said to me.

" But all the angels are blond so I can't look like an angel," I replied to her.

She giggled.

"My, my! I happen to know a raven-haired angel."

Then she touched my cheek.

"The day you were born, I saw one with my own eyes."

Then I hugged her when still I could. After a while, my mother's illness was progressed. I didn't realize that at the time, of course. I bought some bread because it's the only thing we can get with our money and went back home. My mom and I stayed in a one-bedroom old place. My mother smiled at me in her sick bed. I asked her where was the doctor. I didn't realize we didn't have enough money to call a doctor. She tricked me.

"He left already. I'm much better now. He said today would be my last check-up."

I hugged her again and she stroked my head.

" Come to think of it. I haven't cut your hair in a while. When I'm all better, I'll give you a haircut." she said to me.

But she never cut my hair again. I waited for days with her dead body. When Kenny walked through the door, I was starving to death. He took me with him and he left.

"Can you walk? It's just my luck that I end up having to take care of you the very first time I see you. At least try to not to pee on me." He said to me.

Then he continued.

" From to today on you're going to live with me."

One day he came to me with a knife in his hand.

" I got something for you, shortie."

He said I have to consider that my prized possession and take good care of it and make it my own.

" Over the course of your life, there's a shitload of things you lose. Just to stay alive." He said to me.

From that day on, I started cutting my own hair. He had taught me how to be strong and had pounded into me what it takes to survive.

Kenny was a total jerk but I couldn't deny that what he taught me, gave me the strength to continue living. I didn't know why he did it. He was not the type to lose himself and threaten two children with death. What he did, this stupid letter meant something, but I didn't know what it meant. I felt anger, resentment, remorse, everything at the same time. I wanted to kill him, to make him regret what he did, but I was just sitting here, listening to details on how my brother died.

I was trying to give my attention to the talking man. He was telling me about Kenny again, the next legal process, and the things that need to be done. Even for a moment, I needed silence. Everything was coming at me at the same time. I was just thinking about my brother for a minute and trying to accept that he's not here anymore, but the damn guy wasn't shutting his mouth. I turned my head (Y/N), but I wasn't actually talking to her.

"Isabel, I need to notify Isabel. What if he hurts her too?"

"Good of you to remind me. We'll contact the police station right there and bring your sister here." The police replied to me.

He kept saying something after another. They put meaningless papers in front of me to sign. I could hear a one thing coming out of his mouth for a moment.

"If you're ready right now, let's go to the hospital to identify the body."

(Y/N) just started yelling.

"The person who died is already clear. Why do you need for identification? Let him rest for a while!"

I looked at her with meaningless eyes. I forgot about it, my brother wasn't in his warm bed today. I needed to go see him. Maybe when he heard my voice, he'd decide to stand up. After all, he didn't like the dark.

About half an hour later, we were in front of the morgue door. It was seven o'clock in the morning. My brother has been gone from this world for six hours. But it seemed like years to me. God, how could I endure this pain? I was hesitant to go in when I was standing at the door. From now on, I didn't know if there would ever come a day when the profound emptiness I felt inside would be filled completely. Part of me wanted to remember him the last day when he was talking with me and the other part of me wanted to say goodbye to him one last time. I wanted to remember him with being persuaded to come with me and hopeful way but if I didn't see him one last time, I would never forgive myself. That was the death. You were laughing one night, dreaming about the future, and then the other day you were nothing.

I wonder if we were just living in a tiny place surrounded by walls. If so I was really wondering what was behind these walls.

With these thoughts, I walked through the door like a child who wanted forgiveness.

~~~~~~ Your Pov

 

You thought that's exactly what hell was. The person you love was hurting, but you couldn't do anything to save him from the pain. You were just watching, trying to support him with an empty hope.

You didn't know how to handle this situation. Levi was a difficult person. He wouldn't have made it clear to you what he felt so you weren't expecting him to easily show up in a situation like this. Ever since you got to the police station, he's just shaking his head and picking up a few words. He was just silent and unresponsive, so the officers told him more. They put more things in his way. You didn't know if he really understood what was going on, or he was somewhere else.

You've already called Erwin, but not to pick you up, you wanted him to be here with Levi. He obviously didn't want you with him right now. Although you cared about what he felt right now, you didn't want him to be alone. You couldn't tell what was going through his mind, but it wasn't right to take it all by himself. He couldn't bear the pain alone. That's why you were in the morgue door with him right now. Because Levi wasn't himself, you took care of all the paperwork and you tried to remember what the cops said.

 

Levi stood at the door and was hesitant to come in for a moment. You weren't confirming that. He shouldn't have remembered his brother like that. He was just hurting himself. It wasn't his fault but you were sure that Levi was just blaming himself right now. He couldn't have done it all by himself. You wondered what was in there. What was he feeling right now? Was he going to get through all of this? Even you were terrified of what you heard. You knew what Levi's uncle did before, but Levi wouldn't talk too bad about him. Even though he hated him, he had a respect for him. You were surprised to have gone this far. To kill an innocent child... Who could have been so heartless?

You suddenly heard footsteps approaching towards you. Hange and Erwin were approaching you with anxious faces. You ran and hugged them. You tried to tell them what happened quickly until Levi got out. When you were telling them what was going on, your tears started to flow. You were so scared, so sad and tired. You couldn't handle the way a person's life was taken. You were thinking of Isabel, and you were crying again.

After a while, Levi went out the door. He definitely cried, you were sure. His shoulders fell, his black hair was scattered all over the side. He was like a raven with broken wings. You wanted to run and hug him, but Hange grabbed your hand. You knew now is not a good time. That's why you just watched the man you love be torn apart. Levi started laughing all of a sudden. He laughed more when he started laughing. You were all shocked.

"Erwin, you know what? What was I doing when that man strangled my brother? What was I doing when my brother struggled to get one breath?"

He laughed more with every sentence. It broke your heart because Erwin might not know, but you knew what he was doing. How did he connect these two things together? He couldn't even know what was going to happen. He just wanted to give you a little surprise. How could he know that? This was so stupid. He was just torturing himself.

"Look at me, Levi. Get a grip." Erwin said to him.

Levi became serious again.

"Just take her and get out of here. Erwin, Kenny's still around. I know he's going to hurt (Y/N) too. Just take her."

"Look, Levi, she's got Hange with her. I'm going to stay with you, okay? If you want, they should go for now, but I'm here."

"No, I want to stay here with you. Don't you understand? I want to support you, Levi." You yelled at Levi.

 

"Just calm down, please (Y/N). Let him be what it feels like to be good for now. You get some rest. You both look like crap. Get yourselves a little."

 

Levi approached you and put his forehead on your forehead.

"I feel so bad right now. You can't help me with that. Please, I just need a little solitude."

You nodded and followed Hange.

"He's in a very bad mood right now. Please give him some time. It's all so sudden. He's not thinking logically." Hange tried to explain to you.

"I know, Hange. I'm just afraid he's going to eat himself like this. He's trying to take the blame on himself. He doesn't deserve this. Let's just think about Farlan not think about anything else."

You knew about Levi. It would take you away from his life and make it impossible for you to reach him again. Farlan had a very bad way of saying goodbye to this life. A young boy's dreams and life were taken from his hand. But it wasn't Levi's fault. You were sure Levi would have sacrificed his life for Farlan. The only culprit here was that sick man. Levi was going to think that every time he was alone, he couldn't protect him, he thought he'd left him alone. That wasn't true. Levi and Farlan were the real wronged. Levi was no different than a dead man right now. Your only wish was for Farlan to be happy and peaceful at the end. The loss of such a beautiful person still sounded like a joke to you. There was a huge darkness in you, and it was growing in your every breath.

 

I woke up sometimes during the day and sometimes I was asleep and my mind was constantly on the Levi. Erwin was sometimes calling Hange and telling him what they were doing. You heard, Levi rarely talks to Erwin and looked calm. But he hadn't slept for a second. And according to Erwin, seeing Farlan didn't make him good. Meanwhile, they handled the funeral arrangements together. He told you not to worry about him, that his eye is on Levi. At the same time, Isabel and Mikasa will be at the funeral tomorrow. You were wondering how Isabel was doing. You were just out of the way as if you were excluded from his world. What a desperation it was, you understood better.

 

In the morning, Hange and you went somewhere to get yourselves something for the funeral. It was like you were walking on clouds. You didn't feel anything. You wanted to see Levi and you wanted to see he'd be okay. Finally, when you were done, you got ready without wasting time then got to the ceremony. Levi and Erwin were already there. They put a big picture of Farlan there. Levi was staring at it without he clipped his eyes. Hange and you sat quietly in your seats. After a while, you saw Mikasa and Isabel coming to the ceremony. Isabel's eyes were red from tears. Mikasa was standing there with a serious expression. Isabel went right to Farlan's coffin. It gave me a great pain to watch her. It was so much pain that he cut my breath. Levi was standing there like a stone. He wanted to cry, to shout, but he couldn't do any of it. Losing someone you spent your whole life with must have been a pain you couldn't imagine. At that moment, you wanted to have the power to take all this pain from them. You wanted to take the pain away from them and never feel it again, but that was not possible.

 

Neither Levi nor Isabel wanted to have a conversation. They just sat there, away from each other. They didn't raise their faces as if they were ashamed of each other. Levi, Erwin and a few Farlan's friends together buried the Farlan's coffin into the ground. Here's the Farlan was gone. Would not be with us anymore. Was everything so simple? It was painful to watch. He was a part of your family too. Someone from this life was gone and nobody had heard of about him. You felt the tears flow from your eyes towards the cheeks. These tears actually weren't coming from your eyes, they were coming from your heart.

Finally, when the ceremony was over, Levi listened to everyone's condolences and put on that lying face on his face. After that, you didn't know what would have happened. After the crowd spread only five of you stayed at the grave. All your hands were empty now. At that time you heard Isabel was screaming in a pain.

" Everything happened because of you. You left us. You have to protect him but you couldn't. Because you were so busy with your own life. He is dead now and it is all of your fault."

She started hitting his chest. Levi was swinging with each stroke like a leaf.

When tears began to run from his eyes, he pulled Isabel to himself and hugged her tightly.


	20. Wrong decisions

You were on your way back to your own house that night because there was nothing left to do here anymore. Besides, it would have been better for everyone to get away. Hange volunteered to travel with Isabel and Mikasa. Erwin chose to be with Levi in the car you came here with and you wanted to be with them because you didn't want to leave Levi alone for a second anymore. No one could have survived this kind of pain alone. You wanted to show that he wasn't alone once in his life and that he wasn't going to deal with it alone. Isabel and Levi were supposed to stick together and support each other. However, Isabel attacked Levi unjustly and Levi was thoroughly isolated. If that's the case, you were going to help him overcome it. On a good day and a bad day, you were determined to stand by the man you love. You weren't waiting for Levi to get his own head and make himself feel better right now. You never expected him to talk to you right away.  
You just didn't want it to stay that way for long. You wanted him to start talking to you, to tell you about his troubles, his fears. You wanted him to see you as someone who really found peace. He should know that you would never leave him. You were aware that Levi was blaming himself. Like he thought he was wrong to be happy. He thought when you were in his life, you distracted him, so he couldn't protect Farlan. These thoughts were sick. It was his right to be happy, to be loved. He wasn't guilty of anything that happened. There were no more places for as ifs. 

You were wondering what you were thinking right now. God, you were in love with this guy.  
His troubles, his fears, his tears have been your troubles, your fears and your tears. He couldn't afford to take you away from him. No matter what, you were going to love and support him during your whole life.

You were angry at Isabel because of what happened after the ceremony. When she yelled at Levi and hit him, it was like you felt all the pain in your body. Still, it wasn't a good idea to interfere with the situation at the time. Everyone's pain was fresh, and no one was thinking clearly. You wondered if Isabel really believed what she was saying, or did she say that to suppress her pain at that moment? That couldn't be true, and she knew Levi's sacrifices very well. You didn't want this thing to be too long between them. Levi couldn't afford to lose his brother and sister on the same day. It didn't solve anything when people started blaming each other. You were sure Farlan wouldn't want it that way too.

You took a deep breath and looked at the duo sitting in the front seat of the car. Levi put his arm on the side of the seat, quietly watching the outside. When his black hair was swinging in the wind, he had a serious expression on his face. There were black circles under his eyes that showed his fatigue. After watching him a little longer, you buried your head in the seat and started to watch outside. You were wondering what would happen next. You were worried about the safety of Isabel because Kenny was still gone. You were also worried about Levi too.  
You couldn't exactly describe the relationship between Levi and Kenny, but whoever did this to Farlan could have hurt Levi too. You didn't even want to think about that possibility. You wanted Levi to meet that man only when Kenny was caught by cobs. And how would your lives be from now on? The life of Isabel, Levi? When some people died, the space they left behind were never filled. That space was going to stay there forever, so you didn't expect anything to be the same for them. Your only wish now was to see their smiles again.

 

When you heard someone say your name slowly, you slowly opened your eyes. You fell asleep on the road, so Erwin was trying to wake you up. When you were standing there, staring out the window, you saw that you were in front of your house. Levi was still sitting in the front seat.

"I'm not leaving him alone. Why did we come here?" you asked Erwin.

Erwin straightened his back a little, looked at Levi, but Levi didn't react.

"At least you'd better rest in your own house today, (Y/N)."

When you heard this nonsense, you couldn't help yourself.

" What is it, Erwin? Why are you trying to get me away from him? You think I hurt him? Talk to me, Levi. What have I done to you that you're ignoring me? I love you, Levi and I want to ease your pain. Don't you see? "

Your voice was higher than you expected.

Maybe you were being a little selfish or impatient, you didn't know. You were trying to understand him. You were sure every person has a different way of experiencing pain. If the person in front of you wasn't Levi, you'd say he'd be fine but he was Levi. He was taking himself away from you on purpose and for some reason. If you let that happen, he'd have won. You don't care about your own feelings right now, you really just cared about him. The loss of Farlan was an impossible definition for Levi. You were sure, he had full of complicated emotions inside of him right now. So it was a good solution to get you away? What was the point of getting you away from him?

Levi gave you the attention of a moment because of the high volume of your voice. He turned to you. You upset him, but you missed his face too much. Erwin was among the two of us, and he couldn't answer.

"What do you want from me?" He asked you.

What kind of question was that? What could I possibly want from him? 

"Don't suspend me, Levi! It breaks my heart to be so far away from you. If I'm your lover, why am I not the closest person to you? Why am I so far away from you? I know what Farlan means to you. Believe me, he was my brother, too. Let me be with you."

Levi remained silent for a while. His facial expression hadn't changed a single time.

 

"I won't let you. Let's talk later."

The answer he gave you broke your heart. Why would he do that? Suddenly you felt your eyes filled. You felt Erwin's gaze on yourself. He was uncomfortable too.

"I can't let you take me away from you, Levi. It's too late for that." You said.

 

Then you slowly came out of the car.

~~~~~

It's been a month since Farlan said goodbye to life. Time was passing so quickly. Time was called the cure for everything, but the time needed to work harder to heal it. Life didn't wait for you, so you were trying to move on. You had a little time with Isabel and Farlan, but as soon as they were your family. Not just because of Levi, you really loved them. Your life became a cycle. You were going to school, you were coming home and you were going to work. You didn't have any complaints, though. Your only complaint was that you couldn't see Levi anymore. Levi took a week off from school after he got back from the funeral, so he didn't go to school. You went to his house every day to check if he was okay. It was as if he was getting weaker every time you saw him, so you were cooking him to make sure he ate well. Although Levi seemed uncomfortable about it, and he wasn't talking to you, he was still trying not to break your heart. You were so upset that you couldn't touch him. If he knew, how much you missed him, and you wanted to hug him hard. You wanted to give him all your warmth and heat him up.

According to Erwin, Levi wasn't talking to him either. It's like he's pretending everything's normal. He's avoiding serious issues. Kenny's still not found, so it bothers Levi. Levi was very concerned about the safety of Isabel, so he spent most of his time with her. However, Isabel and Levi weren't good. When Levi went to see him, they were fighting all the time. That's why Levi still couldn't recover himself.

Erwin and Hange were always trying to give you comfort. They said that everything would be fine and Levi only needed a little solitude, that's all. You were afraid you weren't a child. It was clear that Levi didn't want to see you. Levi felt guilty about leaving Farlan alone that night, and your face reminded him of that. As much as you tried to tell him, how he was wrong, you were hitting an invisible wall every time. Everything was worse when Levi started school and work.  
He always so tired and he was avoiding you using it as an excuse. He spends all his time at school and at work, trying to escape from himself like this. As a result of Erwin's insistence, at least when you were not meet face to face, he agreed to call you. When you heard his voice, you were still as excited as a child, but you couldn't say the same thing about Levi. It was upsetting to you. If he agreed to talk to you about it once, you'd be able to solve everything. You missed the old Levi. You wanted to touch his hair, to feel the warmth of his lips but, God, it was like he trapped himself in a high tower, and you weren't up to it.

 

While you were worried about Levi, you were also busy with your own lessons. You had a thesis to finish this year, and you had to pass the exams. As you planned before, when school was finished, you wanted to attend the master's program. You were able to work hard and kept your grades high. You had a dream to study abroad before you met Levi. You wanted to see new places, meet new people, listen to different people's story. Also, you were a successful student at the school, and he was good at your classes so if you wanted to study abroad, you could go easily. In fact, you didn't postpone this dream because of Levi, but there was always something else in front of you, and this dream remained in the background. You've never even talked to Levi before. Nevertheless, the universities here were very good, so you weren't having any trouble. And you were happy to be with your loved ones a little more. Or you were really saying that to comfort yourself. Maybe it scared you to get out of your safe life. Maybe you didn't want to get away from Levi because you fell in love with him. But when your days passed so pathetic, suddenly the opportunities you never expected would have knocked on your door. That day, your teacher, who you worked with for your thesis, gave you a suggestion that you never expected and filled you with a lot of thoughts that gnawing at you.

 

You've been thinking about the suggestion your teacher gave you for days. You were thinking, but you couldn't come to a conclusion. You felt guilty for no reason. So you decided to go and talk to Hange about it. After you left the café, you came home without wasting time. Because the sooner you solve this problem, you'll feel more comfortable.

"I cooked. Come on, wash your hands." Hange said to you.

You were standing at the kitchen door staring at Hange. You were thinking about how to start your speech.

"Hange, there's something I need to talk to you about."

Hange raised his head and looked at you with prying eyes.

"A few days ago, something strange happened. You know, after school, I was thinking of applying for a graduate program to one of the schools here. But the teacher I work for my thesis has offered me an interesting suggestion. He told me that he was impressed with my diligence, so he offered me a program to apply to the master's program abroad. He also said he would help me too. He said all I have to do is not drop my grades and make a good score on the language test." 

Hange suddenly has jumped in the excitement.

"This is the perfect news (Y/N)! You always wanted to study abroad. This is a great opportunity for you." 

That's not the answer you were expecting. When Hange saw your face, her smile just disappeared.

"How is that a good opportunity, Hange? This suggestion left me in the middle. How can I leave Levi alone at a time like this? He's everything to me. I can't leave him. Never!"

Hange looked at you for a long time, and then he started talking.

"Firstly (Y/N), please don't misunderstand what I'm about to tell you. I'll tell you this for your own good. You know that Levi's not well. I don't know exactly what he's thinking, but it seems like if you went abroad, it is going to make him happy. Don't be mad at me, but he's got a weird attitude right now. The kind of behaviour that doesn't suit him and I never approve of him. I gave these to the horrible event he was in, but now it's out of the picture. I'm not going to stand here and watch this while you're breaking yourself into pieces to be a little bit closer to him every day. If he cared a bit about you, he had to try to get over it. But as you can see, he's just dragging himself deeper. You can't miss this opportunity (Y/N). You know you'll find a job easier if you go abroad. Don't ruin your future for someone who can't be with you anymore." 

What Hange said was real, and it was hurting you. Everything was so easy when Levi was holding your hands. It was so easy when we counted the stars in the sky together. You wanted a future with him. Now that wasn't possible because he didn't want to do any of this anymore. 

"Hange, how could you say that? He's in love with me. I know that. How can I leave the man I love in a difficult time?" You asked her.

" I know he loves you, (Y/N) but the fact that it doesn't change anything. I wish it would change, then I'd say don't go. This is a big deal for him. I don't know why, but he's thinking the solution is get away from you. He doesn't want your help, (Y/N). I'm sorry, but that's the situation."

 

Your eyes were full. You already knew all this. You were still looking for an answer. It was ridiculous to end like this. You thought Levi would never give up on you once again.

"I'm sorry, (Y/N). Maybe I'm too clear, but I don't want you to be upset anymore."

"It's all right, Hange. I guess sometimes someone has to show me the truth with this way. I don't know what to do. I love him so much."

"Look, don't turn down the teacher's offer. It's not clear whether you're going to be accepted. So just apply for the program and wait. If the positive answer comes back, then we'll reconsider again. Is that okay with you?" 

You nodded and you started to cry more. When you sound lost in the sobs, you hugged Hange tighter.

~~~~~~

After weeks, your first exams were over, and you didn't even see Levi once. He just disappeared from her life. You were just asking him about Erwin because he stopped calling you too. This crazy situation was driving you crazy. Every breath you took without seeing him was painful for you, so you couldn't help yourself, and you decided to visit where he worked at the school. Maybe he'd be happy to see you this time. Maybe you took him out to dinner. When you came to in front of the lab with these hopes, you couldn't see him in there. You decided to ask your friend Connie about Levi.

"Uh, Levi quit his job here last week, (Y/N)."

Connie was surprised you didn't know that, but you were more surprised than him. You thanked him and left there. You were about to cry. It was too much for you. What was this guy trying to do? Why did he just come to you without saying anything? You were so angry and upset, so you decided to not get into the class this afternoon. You went to Levi's school instead. You didn't know how to find him on this huge campus, but if you had to, you'd ask everyone and look everywhere.

At the end of the long endeavour, you learned that Levi was in class right now and waited in front of the lecture hall. He had to give you an answer no matter what happened today. After a while, the students began to walk out the door.  
When the crowd was low, it wasn't hard to pick your familiar figure. You approached him from the crowd because he didn't notice you, and you grabbed his hand. You haven't touched him in days. First, he gave you his deadly stare, but when he realized it was you, he was taken unawares. His eyes became softer only for a moment. Did he miss you, too? Then he straightened himself and made his gaze became serious again.

"What the hell are you doing here?" He asked you.

"I came to talk to you, Levi." 

Your gaze was harsh. He didn't leave your hand and came out of school and brought you to a quiet corner of the garden. You realized you missed his touch. Then he started to staring at you and waiting for you to talk. 

"You left your job at the lab, Levi. Why didn't you tell me? I felt so bad when I heard that from someone else."

"There was no longer a situation where I needed to work there. I didn't know I had to tell you." 

He was hurting you with the sentences that he set up with ignoring you. You felt your eyes burning.

"I don't understand why you behave like this. Levi, you want to finish it again?"

He didn't expect that question. He opened his eyes with astonishment. He didn't answer for a while because he probably didn't know the answer too.

"I won't tell you it's over again, (Y/N). This is your decision to make. I guess you know I don't want to be with you anymore."

Those words pierced your heart.

"I don't understand, Levi! You don't give me any explanations. Why don't you talk to me once? You don't love me anymore? There's no interest in Farlan's death and our relationship. Can't you understand that?"

"Every moment you're with me, I make you suffer. This has nothing to do with love. I can't make you happy anymore so I can't take responsibility for this. I don't want to be together anymore, this is my final decision."

You couldn't hold your tears again because of what you heard.

"But I love you."

"I am sorry, (Y/N). I'm a disgusting man. Forgive me."

He said then he left you there.

You sat alone in that garden for a long time. You loved him so much, and suddenly as if he was never in your life. He said these words so easily again. He did the same thing again. He ran away without making any effort. Your heart was hurting. You were alone again, and you hated that feeling. You gathered yourself and stood up and left there. You had to accept that now because he made his final decision. He had chosen to take you out of his life.

That's why you went with your teacher a few days later. You accepted his suggestion and you applied for that program abroad.


	21. I love to keep you close to me

~~~~~ Levi's Pov

When someone touched my hand from the crowd, I got angry first, but then I realized that this person is the girl I want most to touch me. (Y/N) was the one who came. The first thing that came to mind when I saw her was how much I missed her. For a moment, I felt as if Farlan had never died and that all these things never happened. I've been avoiding her for months. Because if I see her face, if I hear her voice and let her help me, I'll give up the decision that I made.

My mind has been full of thoughts since the funeral. Why did Kenny do this? Where was the hell he hiding now? When was he going to show up himself? How was I supposed to make him pay for this? What would be the Isabel and (Y/N)? The questions followed me everywhere I went, and it stopped me from going to sleep.

The things that Isabel said at the funeral really hurt me. When I thought I was strong, I realized I wasn't strong with the people I loved. Isabel wasn't serious about what she said, I knew it. Everyone wanted their brother to be happy, no one wants their brother dead. If Isabel was going to break my heart at that moment, she'd feel better, so I just let her. She started crying in my chest because she told Farlan, he'd never have a girlfriend.

When I thought about it again, I realized that everything that Isabel said that day was true. I was the only one who knew Kenny best among them. I was able to know Kenny was serious when he threatened the Isabel and Farlan. I was foolish enough to think that he would stay in prison forever and that we would all have a happy life now. It wasn't a fucking fairy tale, it was real life. The first time I got my walls down, he grabbed me and gave me a punishment I'll never forget.

I thought my life might be normal and I could close my past. Because (Y/N) made me feel that way. When I looked at her, I was in heaven, in my own heaven. When she slept in my arms, I run away from all evil. In fact, I'm so far out of it, I forgot who I was and where I came from. That was my fault, and I paid dearly for this mistake. I couldn't just make the same mistake and let Kenny take the Isabel from me too.

When I got home from the funeral, I took a week off from school. So I could get over the shock of the incident, and I could be with Isabel for more. Every time I was home, the walls were coming at me, and it was getting harder to breathe. I wanted to hurt Kenny, but I couldn't help it. I was on my way to her every day to make sure that Isabel was okay. Isabel was worse than me, though because she lost the first person she saw when she opened her eyes. I felt helpless about Isabel. We were strangers like we weren't together all these years. She was looking for someone she could share her pain with, but she had no one but me, so we were fighting a lot. If Farlan were here, he probably handled it better than me. As long as she lived, I could fight her as much as she wanted. Still, I was determined to protect my sister until my last breath. 

(Y/N) came to me every night for a week. That wasn't enough, she made me dinner to make sure I ate well. God, she was so patient. She was tearing himself apart just to see a little warmth from me. I just watched her because she was going to help me if I contacted him and it meant being with her again. It would mean feeling like I could be happy again. So I did everything I could to get her away. I didn't talk to her, I didn't tell her about what I am feeling, I excluded her but all she wanted to do was support the man she loved. I couldn't lie, I was watching her and I was listening to everything she said, but I didn't want her to know. If she knew that, she'd never leave me as she said before. What was best for her was that she was leaving me because I was going to pull her into the swamp with me. However, I couldn't tell the woman I loved that it was over again. That's why she should have left me. That was my final decision.

Things got worse when I started school. I was still working in the lab while I was studying for my classes. I was about to collapse in both the body and the physical. Erwin was making a great effort not to immerse me in the flow. I wish I could be more open with him and accept his help, but I was too tired and reckless to do it. Fortunately, Erwin could see me without telling me. Erwin told me a little about (Y/N) from time to time. I was fascinated by the way Erwin turned me back into reality. Well, if I'm too busy to face (Y/N), at least he told me to call her. I didn't feel guilty this time because Erwin told me to do this. Like I was starving to hear her voice. I called her every night. This has reduced the pain in my heart a little but this pain should not be diminished because nothing could be the same anymore. When the exams started, I stopped calling for her because of the busy time. Or I just gave myself a silly excuse.

The first time I saw her months later, she grabbed my hand and looked at me with harsh eyes. Also, eyes looking for answers. She couldn't understand what I was doing, like me. I already wore that stupid serious face that was my mask. I'm sure that even that was upsetting her. I missed touching her. I kept holding her hand because I knew it was the last time. I took her out to the garden to find a quiet place where we could talk to each other. It was nice to hold her hand and walk around the school, but unfortunately, it wouldn't have happened again.

" You left your job at the lab, Levi. Why didn't you tell me? I felt so bad when I heard that from someone else." She said to me.

She was still holding herself and chose to hurt herself instead of me. I wonder how long she could keep this up anymore. Plus, Yes, it was sad for her to hear it from someone else, but that's not what she was really upset about. My job in the lab turned out to be something I did to get closer to her. That's where we lived our first excitements. Even when we had a fight because of Eren, I didn't quit the job. I was happy to see her all of a sudden where I worked but I quit my job last week knowing that I was going to hurt her so bad. I was so tired and I was waiting to see her without realizing it. That way, I could spend more time with Isabel.

"There was no longer a situation where I needed to work there. I didn't know I had to tell you." I answered her.

Come on, Levi! You really didn't find anything to say and told her this stupid sentence. She is your girlfriend, oh man, of course, YOU HAVE TO TELL HER. I broke her heart because I ignored her from my life. Firstly she leaned over her head and waited for a while.

" I don't understand why you behave like this, Levi. You want to finish it again?" 

Even though I've been preparing myself for this question for months, it's really different to hear from her mouth. It was like someone was drilling my heart. Did I really want to finish it, I didn't know the answer. I wished for time to stop now so I could stay with her forever. As I was burning up, my mouth was freezing.

"I won't tell you it's over again, (Y/N). This is your decision to make. I guess you know I don't want to be with you anymore."

Stop, you shit. How these words came out my lips? What the hell was I saying? I was yelling from my inside, "Please don't believe me, it was all lie."

" I don't understand, Levi! You didn't give me any explanations. Why don't you talk to me once? You don't love me anymore? There's no interest in Farlan's death and our relationship. Can"t you understand that?"

She was asking me "don't you love me anymore?" But the answer was already clear. I was dying of her love, so that's why she had to go.

"Every moment you're with me, I make you suffer. This has nothing to do with love. I can't make you happy anymore so I can't take responsibility for this. I don't want to be together anymore, this is my final decision."

When I said all these horrible things, I was surprised that my voice was so callous and calm. Even though I was about to puke right now, my voice didn't trill once. I didn't even say to her " No, I love you.".When she heard my words, she couldn't help herself anymore. I made her cry again. I was a disgusting man.

"But I love you."

She sounded like a scrawny bird. Please don't say that anymore. Let me go. 

" I'm sorry,(Y/N). I'm a disgusting man. Forgive me."

After I said these things, I walked away without looking back. I kept repeating she was going to be better off without me. I had lost someone that valuable in my life too. When I stepped up my steps, I realized I couldn't get used to Farlan was far away from me that I couldn't touch, nor close enough to touch (Y/N), but still away from me. I took her out of my life just as I wanted. Let's see if this could solve my problems.

~~~~~

" Hey, Levi. Are you listening to me?" Isabel asked me.

I answered without removing my head from the newspaper I read.

"No." 

" Pft. You fink!"

I didn't like the summer holidays, but I liked being alone more. During the summer holidays, Erwin usually went to his parents ' house and came here occasionally. Now that Isabel had no place to go so she was going to stay with me for this summer holiday. I came to help her to pick up her things today, but she kept babbling about things that didn't concern me.

"Look at here, I noticed that we haven't seen each other with (Y/N) in a long time. How is she?"

I lifted my head and looked at her. We haven't seen each other since I broke up with her. 

"After what you said at the funeral, I thought you hated her, too."

"Don't be silly, Levi! I..."

She hesitated a bit.

"I'm sorry, okay? I couldn't apologize to you before. It's something I shouldn't have said. I was immature. I'm sorry I broke your heart."

" We broke up, Isabel."

Isabel sounded like a scream.

"What are you talking about? Why?"

"I thought it was more accurate."

We remained quiet for a while.

"You're a stupid coward. You feel guilty, don't you?"

I didn't give her an answer.

"He's playing games with us. He took our brother from us. He took our memories, our lives and you're letting him take away your happiness too."

"Enough, Isabel!" I shouted at her.

My voice was really scary.

"Now if you're ready, let's go home," I said her and headed for the door to get out.

Even if we tried to go home without a distraction, if Isabel was with me, it was impossible. When we walked in the door, a familiar voice called me.

"Here comes the gentleman." 

The crazy woman was in the house. It's been a long time since I've seen Hange. I missed her because she reminded me of when I was happy. I put the suitcases aside without answering. Behind my back, Isabel went in too.

"Hello everyone!" Isabel greeted Hange and Erwin.

Hange missed Isabel so she hugged her tightly. I wanted to escape to my room the shortest way. I hoped Hange didn't come here to talk about (Y/N). There's still enough unresolved solutions in my life.

"You know, Isabel, who's missing here right now? Ah, of course (Y/N). She wants to see you before she goes."

I'm surprised at what Hange said. I turned my face towards her, and I started looking at her with the interrogating eyes.

"What are you talking about? Where is she going?"

Hange put his hands on his chest like she won a victory.

"You have no idea you left her behind, of course."

"Cut it short, Hange! Just say it." I shouted at her.

Hange was suddenly startled by my voice.

"Guys, do we have to talk about this right now?" Erwin tried to relax us.

" Wait, Erwin. I want my answers now! I don't think you deserve to know that because you told (Y/N) to you didn't love her anymore. I can't help a guy who cried my friend for days."

As Hange talked, I was getting angrier. I didn't want to say things I couldn't get back to her, so I turned around and headed for my room.

" You look angry, Levi. People get restless when things don't work out the way you want them to, right? Believe me, I gave your behaviours to Farlan first, but no. I don't think so anymore. I was trying to keep myself out of it, but that's enough now. (Y/N) doesn't have to be abandoned by you all the time. You're moving on, but she can't. Because of you. We were all prepared to help you. If you love us or her a little, why would you do that?"

The more I stayed silent, the more ugly she was saying. Erwin and Isabel were standing there like ice. I couldn't be mad at Hange. She was right to ask. I was grateful to her for protecting (Y/N) from me. But nothing she said was true, so I couldn't keep quiet anymore.

"None of you could see. You think I'm so strong, that I can keep my head on everything. I can't fight my God damn fears! That's why I keep avoiding everything. But I can't get away from what happened to Farlan, I can't forget. This is very different. I don't have a map that shows where I should go. I lost my way. When I'm like this, it's unfair to the woman I love to be with me. I lost two people I cared about in my life at the same time. Please let me live in the pain of this until I die. I'm sorry but I don't feel anything anymore." 

I think that answer was enough for her now. When I saw the faces of the people who didn't know what to say, I understood the conversation was over then I slowly entered my room.

~~~~~

"You're wondering (Y/N), aren't you?"

Erwin asked me from behind my door about an hour later. I didn't want to talk to anyone right now, but he was right. I was wondering about (Y/N). I was wondering what he'd say to me if Farlan was here right now. He probably said I was a big idiot. Just like we talked about that night. 

"You're a big idiot, but you love her. Please don't ruin it again." He could say to me. 

I could remember clearly.

"Come in." 

The tall man slowly walked in and sat in my chair. He turned his big blue eyes at me.

"Where, when, and why?" I asked him.

"(Y/N) 's teacher worked together, encouraged her to enrol in a graduate program in Poland. After breaking up with you, she didn't turn it down. She recently received her acceptance letter so she decided to go early to get used to some atmosphere. Her plane's on Saturday at 14:00 pm. This is a two-year program, Levi. We've been thinking about how we're going to tell you this for a long time." 

It was unnecessary to ask more. She was doing the right thing. She was the only one who struggled to save our relationship between me and her. She did everything she could and now she was able to go there and thought of his own life. Not me.

" What are you gonna do, Levi?" 

" Nothing," I answered him.

Erwin suddenly frowned.

"Are you all right? How can you not do anything? Snap out of it, Levi! (Y/N) may never come back here. She can set his life there apart from you, do you know this?"

I took a deep breath.

"What should I do, Erwin? Should I tell him to stay with me and be unhappy every day for someone like me? Of course, she should go and start another life there."

Erwin approached me.

"Did you ever ask her? You're saying that if she did this, it better for her. Did you ask her what she really wanted, what is really good for her? How do you decide about her yourself? Levi, this is my last warning for you. Of course, she must do whatever it takes to make her career, but in the end, she should come back to you. Do you understand? Be there on Saturday and show that girl you love her. I'm not giving you a choice this time, I'm ordering this time." 

He said then he left my room quickly.

It's 14:00 pm on Saturday...

~~~~~

Friday night, I didn't even sleep a little. My body was tired also I felt like a zombie. It wasn't insomnia that was the most tired of me, though, it was always the questions of my brain. I didn't know what to do. If I didn't go to the airport, everything was simple because everything is going to end up irreversibly. However, if I went to the airport, I would have given (Y/N) hope again. Even though I thought until morning, I still couldn't find an answer. I was tired of thinking and making plans all the time. Because real life didn't fit in. At least once I freed myself, and I just started getting ready without thinking about it. I set up an hour to catch them at the airport door, and I left the house. When I was leaving Erwin was not at home, he probably went to (Y/N) and Hange's house for help. 

When I saw Erwin, Hange, and (Y/N) at the airport door, I was waiting there for about two hours. I tried to get myself to talk to her, but apparently, I failed. She's usually excited about trying new things, but she's not excited right now. She was tired, like me, beaten. I couldn't take my eyes off her. We should have been in this together. I didn't feel comfortable leaving her like this. I'm sorry, Farlan. I guess I was a big fool again. 

I wanted to go back home right now before she ever saw me but at that exact moment, my eyes met with her eyes. That stupid hope in me was starting to flourish again. I slowly approached them. Erwin was happy to see me, but Hange was cautious on the other hand I could say (Y/N) never expected to see me. I went straight to her without talking and got one of her bags. It's like a normal thing that I did, everyone adapted to the situation, and we just moved ahead of the area where only the plane passengers could enter. Sometimes I felt (Y/N)' gaze on me but I kept the walking anyway.

I felt so nervous because it was time to say goodbye. Hange hugged (Y/N) for a long time.

"You'll call every day, understand? If you don't call, I'll panic. If anything happens, don't hide it. Deal?"

Hange warned her, but she already started crying.

"I'm going to miss you so much my shitty glasses. When I'm done there, I'll never wait for the promise. Take care of yourself, okay?"

They hugged each other tighter. Now they're both crying. They've been staying in the same house for so long, and now being away was being able to be upsetting them. Still, I didn't think they could stop talking even for a day. Then she wiped her tears and turned to Erwin. They hugged each other.

"You're the best boyfriend on the Earth, you know that? Thank you for everything. Please take care of each other when I'm not here." 

It didn't help her wipe her tears because she was crying again when she said these.

"Please come back soon. I'm going to miss you so much, my little sister. Call me time to time, okay?" 

She nodded like a little child. Now it's my turn. I wish she'd gone without looking at my face, but she stood right in front of me. We waited for a while without talking but I couldn't take it anymore.

" (Y/N), I love you." I said quietly.

She opened her eyes in surprise. Why was she so surprised? Didn't I say that before? I continued to talk.

"I want you to leave, (Y/N). I want you to have a happy business life in your career. If we were together right now, I'd want you to go too. I'm not good at this time so I can't think healthy. It wasn't a good idea to ignore you from my life but that was my solution. I apologize for not being worthy of your love."

I touched her cheeks with my hands.

"I know you're mad at me for running away every time, but I didn't have the strength to stay and fight. If anything happens to you because of me, believe me, I will die on that day. I want you to be happy with me or without me. Being away won't stop me from loving you, falling in love with you, (Y/N)." 

She was staring at me with wet eyes then she grabbed my hands.

"Levi, I don't want to go."

I pulled her towards me and I pressed her on my chest.

" Please, listen. I love keeping you close, but I can't tell you not to go also I can't tell you to wait for me too. Don't expect from me to do this. I love you more than anyone, I can only say that, baby. "

"Will you be here when I get back?" She sniffed.

I leaned towards her and started kissing her lips. She hugged me tighter. When we were like this, Hange and Erwin hugged us too. I know I was going to miss her so much but at least now there was an aim in front of me. I was going to solve my problems until she came back. Especially Kenny.

When it was time to go, I realized I didn't want to watch her leave, so I turned to came back home. I felt something that hadn't been inside of me for a long time. That was a claim for the fight. I was going to fight for all the people I cared about, for my dead brother. I was going to make Kenny pay for everything he did. 

At the first opportunity.

~~~~~ 2 Years Later 

"They're going to go to the table too," Hange said to me.

"The food you do alone doesn't look like anything." 

I took what she showed and I answered her.

"Shut your mouth. I made these for you. We're barely seeing each other." 

"Tch."

I took the plate and put it on the table in the living room. Erwin was busy with decorating the Christmas tree.

"I think you're upset that the Isabel is spending this Christmas with his friends." 

I didn't answer him because it just makes me nervous that Isabel has new friends. I've done better than I expected in the last year to put my life in order. Things were going well with Isabel and Mikasa. The school was over the last year, and now we're working at the same hospital with Erwin as an assistant doctor. Hange, Erwin and I were often seeing each other like old times, I wasn't running away from them anymore. Naturally, when everything wasn't the same for me, time solved a lot of things. I also found myself a new hobby. I was a barista in my spare time. Yes, it sounds funny, but I was interested in brewing coffee and tea also at least that kept me busy.

The only point that bothered me was that Kenny was still not found. It was like he was in the ground. I didn't want him to easily get his collar off this thing he did. I wasn't going to give up the chance to catch him. One day he was going to make a mistake somewhere, anywhere.

Also (Y/N) was gone about two years ago. God, I've missed her so much, but I've been seeing her only if Hange and Erwin call her because I didn't want to distract her attention. She was happy there. She made new friends, and she was learning new things. I was happy too because she was happy. Even if I denied it, I was waiting for her to come back. I wanted to prove to her that I was finally fixed myself. 

"When is (Y/N) going to call?" I asked Erwin.

"I think you're impatient." He laughed at me.

" She said she'd call about 23:00. She even works today. Come on, the table's ready." 

I didn't tell Hange that, but in time, she developed herself about cooking. We were talking and having fun like every Christmas. I really loved being a part of this family. I liked to joke with Erwin, to argue with Hange, but we all felt the lack of (Y/N) at every moment .  
When the meal was over, Hange and Erwin began to look at each other in a tense way. Even though I felt something strange at first, I didn't say anything, but it was clear that something was happening now..

"Levi, we need to tell you something." Erwin started to talk.

"Let's see what's in your mouth." I took the napkin from the table and I wiped my mouth.

They waited for a while then Erwin started talking again. Hange was holding a rhythm to the table with her fingers.

"We decided to marry, Levi." 

Okay, I was absolutely shocked. I was expecting everything, but that was the last thing I expected. I mean, they were together for a long time, but I didn't know they wanted to be married. I looked at them both, and when I found out they were serious, my eyes opened with astonishment.

"You're serious. You donkeys, this is great news!" 

I couldn't hold my joy under my cold looking and I stood up and hugged them.

"Please, don't get divorced. Okay?"

We laughed together at what I said. I put one hand on Erwin's shoulder.

" It's funny, you know. If I hadn't made fools, we'd probably have a double wedding." 

I laughed a little bit more, but suddenly Hange and Erwin got serious.

"Maybe it's still not too late, Levi?" Hange asked me with a low voice.

I lifted my head and looked at her. 

"What do you mean by that ?" I asked her.

She showed me the number of someone I didn't know from her phone and put it in front of me.

"I want to see my best friend at my wedding. Go get her," she said to me.


	22. You’re like a shadow

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello guys!  
> I am so sorry for if anyone who waiting for this fiction.I am really late for a new chapter but I promise you I will finish this fiction. I hope you like the new chapter.

When you go up to stairs, you waited for a second to look a scenery outside the big window of the hallway. You got closer to a window and put your hand onto it. These small breaks of life made you happy all the time because you sometimes didn’t realize the life that flows fast. The place that you have stayed for two years, near the large park that has lots of tall trees and sounds of little children that played with their families also it has a big pool for ducks and other species. You and your friends usually spent time the coffee shop in the park or you prefer walking alone time to time but for today, you were looking from the window there, to decrease your stress level. Okay, you were pretty busy at that moment. You are writing a project also you were finishing your master degree, further to that you just have learned that your best friend Hange decided to married with Erwin. 

It was strange, right? Because you had to be happy in this situation. Your best friend finally found the happiness that you never taste it. Actually, no one could say that you were not happy for them. When you heard the first time, you just start to cry because of happiness. For you, these two of them are people who deserve the most happiness on earth. However that wasn’t the point that you made stress about, the point was Hange clearly told you that she wanted you to come to her wedding. 

God damn devil Hange, of course, knew when your school was finishing and she already has started to making sneaky plans. On the other hand, you didn’t think about what you lived before. Yes, you heard right, you didn’t think about Levi even one more time because if you started to think about him, you were sure you couldn’t deal with your new life in here and came back to him. Nevertheless, you were decisive about to build a new life, become a strong woman. So Could you forget him, or where did you go your love? The answer was: nowhere. He was just like the tall trees that you were watching right now. He had strong roots in your heart, you could run away but you couldn’t escape. 

You stepped back from the windows to go to your room. The Christmas celebrations had been over for several days, but the ornaments that remained at the doors of some rooms still attracted your attention. Every time you think of something about Christmas, the warm feelings grab your heart. But this year you celebrated the special day with strangers you just met. You guessed it was a little unfair to say they were strangers. You didn't have a lot of friends when you got here, though you've never had a lot of friends, you always had a few but strong friendships and that was enough for you. You firstly met with Rico. You realized that your movie tastes kind of same when you talked in a cafe where you were sitting as a group of new students. She was always kind to other people, if you didn’t know her very-well you could fall the trick but she was the most enjoyable person you knew. When there were two of you, you were always doing things that would make you laugh. As you talked over time, you got closer with her and then you met with Hitch. You could think she was a cold person firstly but when you started to know her better, you saw how friendly she is. But in a weird way, Hitch didn't like to be called by her name, and she prefers to call her with surname Dreyse. In the Christmas night, you were planning to stay at dorm and study but Dreyse didn’t allow to get depressed that night. She offered to go outside with their boyfriends and a few other friends together. Rico was already ready for it anyway so you joined them too. 

You were all in a little pub together. Normally you didn’t hang out in such places because there is too much noise and you do not like the crowds, but the inside was not too crowded and there was a more intimate atmosphere. You met Dreyse's boyfriend, Marlo, and Rico's current boyfriend, Nanaba that night. While Marlo was more friendly and talkative, Nanaba preferred to stay outside of the conversation and listen. Also, there was a friend of Marlo that name was Moblit. The music was good, the booze was good. As time progressed, the environment was warming. Moblit was an interesting kid, he was studying computer engineering, and he gave you some information about some of the games you were interested in. The most important feature you earned from studying abroad was that you could easily be friends with everyone. 

As guys were talking to each other and continue to chilling, you looked your clock and it was almost 11 o'clock. You got up silently then went out of the pub. You promised to Hange that you would call them to celebrate their new year. You found a quieter place and looked at your phone for a while. You remembered your celebrations together two years ago and this memory gives you a small smile. You and Levi didn’t call each other but you could see each other on special days like this. Furthermore, you can’t help but you feel strange excitement in your inside. You made a video call for them. 

When you saw your friend Hange with thick-border glasses and Erwin that hug with one arm to Hange, you felt that a long time since you saw them. You felt so bitter that you weren't there for them at the time, but you were still so happy. When Hange was finished discussing whether you could see them clearly, you laughed and waved at them. 

“ Okay, Hange I can see you, please don’t put your hands on screen.” You were still laughing. 

“ Shut up, you are looking dark little bit, how are you! Are you busy nowadays, it’s been a long time we met? Hey, are you outside?” 

“Hange, ask one by one. Hey (Y/N) happy new years !” said Erwin. 

“ Hey, Erwin! Happy new years guys, I really miss you. You know Hange, I am really busy but when I came back I promise, I’m going to make up for this. Ye,s, we are outside now with friends you know, I just wanted to see you guys.” 

“I've seen that you're good, enough for me. There's not much left now, you know.” Hange winked you. 

Hange started talking again while you were just going to take a deep sigh and answer. 

“ Also there is somebody that wants to hello to you.” And she turned the camera. 

Before you even answer and prepare yourself, you've faced the face on the screen as astonished as you are. When you examined the face that you saw on the screen, he raised his hand and shyly waved at you. You didn’t want to see him, you didn’t plan this. You could feel that you miss him so much in your every cell but you didn’t want to feel that way. You thought you became strong now, on the other hand, every time you met him you stayed defenceless. 

He didn’t change a little bit, he was still god damn handsome man you ever knew. His cold steel eyes that under the frowned eyebrows wanted to answer from you but you forgot to talk, that was what he did to you. A few words have been poured out of your mouth. 

“Hey good to see you. Happy new year.” 

“Thank you, a happy new year for you too. Uhm… It's late, isn't it?” 

Hange turned on the camera before you understood exactly what he was saying. You didn't think too much of it because probably you were both talking nonsense about the weirdness of the situation. 

“We just wanted to hello to you and you seem okay, hah! Please have a lot of fun, secret but here is so boring. Get back your friends come on.” Said Hange and gave you a smile. 

“ Erwin please be creative anymore we are boring now. Anyway guys thanks for the call, I kiss you all.” 

When the screen turned off, you were embarrassed to think about how wrong you were last said. But what's really interesting was that it didn't seem weird to you when you said it. You were struggling about confessing to yourself but a part of you still wanted everything to be the same. Though it was the same as the definition of the impossible. 

You had no idea why that night was so completely up to your mind suddenly but you found yourself outside the door of the room. Someone from the inside sounded in a heated speech. It should have been Dreyse. You opened the door slowly and walked in. 

“Hey, I came.” You said slowly. She looked at you with worrying eyes. 

“Okay look I gotta go now, I’ll call you later.” Then she turned off the phone. 

You didn’t want to interfere with your friends ' affairs. That's why you didn't ask about the phone, and you started a daily conversation. 

“Where is Rico, a deadline for projects are so close.” 

Dreyse sighed, “I can’t follow her anymore, you know the fight with Nanaba. She is probably in the shopping mall right now.” 

I didn't like the answer of Dreyse. Rico's going to try to fit everything into the last minute, and she was going to be sad about it again. Also, Dreyse didn't look good too. I couldn't stop thinking if the reason was the phone call. 

“Hey, are you all right?” you asked her with curiosity. 

She turned to you and gave you an insincere smile. 

“Ye-yes, of course. Why shouldn't I be good?” 

You thought it wasn't something she wanted to tell you, and you shrugged. Then you made yourself a coffee and sat on the chair to start the study. The days were passing so fast. On the one hand, you were always reading new things for your research and trying to write your thesis with what you learned from there. Sadly days were passing between school and where you were staying. You were probably spending your busiest time here the whole time you came here. Sometimes you couldn't find time to cook and you lost a lot of weight but you didn't complain about it. You loved what you did, and you were happy to work on something really important. You were developing yourself every day, and you were getting closer to achieving your goals. However, the girls were working on some things you didn't understand. They were just as busy as you, but it was like there was something going on between you that you didn't know. Your days became a little more bearable when you delivered your project. Now you can only focus on your own thesis. You gave yourself a holiday today while you felt happy. You decided to go and ask the girls to get a coffee from the café in the park and propose a little chat so you could finally learn what they've been struggling for days. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

They looked at each other with hesitant eyes. You didn't think this was such a difficult question. Why were they so worried? That was a little annoying. 

“Come on guys! What the hell is going on? Can someone please explain to me? You've been weird for days.” you couldn't stand it anymore, and you wanted to clarify this ridiculous situation. 

Both your friends stood in front of you and they weren't saying a word. It just makes you more nervous. 

“Well, I guess everyone forgot to talk. I'm going alone, then.” then someone grabbed you from your arm while you were just going to turn around. 

“Are you sure you want to drink coffee, so maybe we shouldn't go there anymore?” said Dreyse. 

This situation was really so absurd and you really didn't understand anything. 

“ Of course I am sure Why shouldn’t be? Guys come on! I know you were in so stressed for days. Fresh air and good coffee is going to be good for us.” you grabbed them from their arms and started dragging them. 

Rico yelled at you like something new came to her mind. “Maybe we should go for a drink! “ she said. 

“At this hour?” Hitch asked her with giving up. 

We were in a constant discussion until we reached the café in the park. Rico said she had a work to do and tried to escape repeatedly, and Dreyse told she'd felt sick and said she wanted to go to the hospital but you knew all this was a lie so you didn’t listen to them. You couldn't understand what they behaved this way, but you still missed talking to them anyway. 

“You've chosen a really nice way to make me buy for you the coffees.” you pushed the door with laughing and walked in. You know what the girls usually drink so you approached the vault to give the orders right away. After you decide what to order, you put your eyes down the menu on the wall and point it at the employee waiting for your order. 

I wish you'd never looked that way. I wish you'd go to the girls ' offer and drink at this hour. It's as if your body was fixed to where it was, what you couldn't walk out of, or say a word. Now the body was reacting like in a shock. But what were you so happy about? 

“I think we've changed the roles this time,” he said to you. 

You didn't think you could hold your tears any longer.


	23. Does everything have to be complicated?

You had no idea how long you stood there and just cried. When your tears were covering your eyes, you were just looking at the silhouette that you missed so much. By the way, Levi should be surprised at what he's going to do. He was alive and right in front of you with messy hair. He tied a dark green apron his waist and he was wearing a black shirt that left open first two buttons. It's weird that you're even into these little details right now but you didn't know what he was thinking when he was coming here. He didn’t call you even one more time so you thought he was trying to forget you. This thought has killed you hundreds of times every day. As much as you know the absurdity of this thought, you've begun to believe it more as time passes. That's why you were always mad at yourself because you couldn't do the same yourself. 

Maybe you were just dreaming, maybe you had to slap yourself but already other customers in the cafe looking at you with curious eyes. 

While Levi was extending his hand to you with a sudden reflex, you heard Dreyse's voice behind you and she touched your arm calmly. 

“Let’s go sit somewhere else, okay?” she threw a small glance towards Levi. 

You wiped your tears off with your hands and you didn’t want to look Levi one more time, not now. You didn’t know what you should think or feel right now. The situation that you both took part in so complicated. You didn’t leave each other in a bad way, in fact, you were sure that you kept love him and turned back to him when the time came. On the other hand, you were just afraid. Everything happened so sudden, you thought you were ready for this because you knew eventually you had to talk to him but there were all lies to tell yourself. Time had to fix all of the things, it had to sweep away all the bad memories but apparently, only one thing that it did, made your life harder. 

You and girls sat park bench near the big pool. When you were watching ducks that swimming and fluttering, you didn’t think anything. Thousands of voices in your head were talking at the same time but there was a strange silence too. After the long silence, Rico began with an explanation. 

“Look, we know you want some explanations and we didn’t know how to explain to you. Actually, I joined this afterwards. Please get over this bad mood and listen to us.” 

You breathed deeply, Rico was right. There was something you have to learn, you had things to do. It would seem that Levi got in contact with Rico and Dreyse and they helped him to find you. Suddenly a sharp pain got in your head and you held your head between your two hands. 

“Look, guys, please take at the beginning. I want to listen to every detail.” your voice was heard barely. 

Dreyse houghed. 

“ Levi firstly called me. I didn’t know who he is, he explained to me on the phone. Actually, I was really mad for the first time because you even didn’t tell us about him. You know, we knew there was somebody that very important for you and you were broke up for some reason. On the other hand, you didn’t tell details. When he called me he introduce himself first and he told me why he called me… “ 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

“Uhm hello? Who am I speaking to?” The call came from a stranger, so I was stuck between open in or not. 

“Hello, I am sorry for disturbing you. My name is Levi and I am a friend of (Y/N). Uhm I don’t know she talked about me but please don’t turn off the phone because it’s very important.” said the guy on the other end of the phone. 

If the guy who called Levi, was a friend of (Y/N), I didn't understand why he called me also how he found my phone number, but I'd still listen to him. 

“I am listening.” I answered him. 

“I don't know where to start. I got your number from my friend Hange, and I suppose (Y/N) must have given it to her too.” 

“Yes, I know Hange.” I was a little relieved when I heard a familiar name. 

“Actually, Oh, this is going to be really hard. Look, I really need your help because I… I broke (Y/N)’s heart so badly and her best friend is going to marry so she wants to see (Y/N) in her wedding. And I know, (Y/N) is making stress about this. She is irresolute to see me or not see me. Also I really want to fix something about me and her.” he stopped talking for a second. 

“Actually I want to gain her back,” he added. 

I was surprised by what I heard because (Y/N) never told me about his ex-boyfriend before. She only mentioned it once between us, but she closed the subject immediately, and I thought she didn't want to talk. It seems to be more complicated than I thought. All I know is (Y/N) has been alone for a long time, and she didn't think to put anyone in her life. But now that I was thinking again, she wasn't happy. She wasn't happy even the moments when she was supposed to be the happiest. 

“ I know this is so ridiculous, I mean you probably don’t want to make wrong things. You even don’t know me right?” 

Of course, he is right but I trusted this guy for some reason. 

“What do you want from me then?” I asked him. 

“Let me talk to you face to face and convince you to help me.” he offered to me. 

Is it a joke? Now someone I've never met was offering to meet me. While I was thinking about my answer, I heard someone go into the room behind me. I heard (Y/N) sound, fuck! 

“Okay look I gotta go now, I’ll call you later,” I said and hung up the phone without waiting for his answer. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

You lean you back on the bench and tied your arms in front of you. For some reason, during Dreyse told you about what they talked about, you felt like you were there, as if you could hear his voice. You were surprised to have so much longing in you, even though you were surprised to see him here, you were strangely happy because, by this time, you thought everything was over forever. 

“Then I thought about him for all night. I was afraid to do something wrong, but I texted him in the morning anyway. Please don’t mad at me, I felt like you can be happy again, (Y/N). Anyway two days later, we met in this cafe." 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

I took my coffee then sat to one of the tables that looked at the window. I lifted the box on top of my coffee to cool down quickly. Steam of hot coffee hit my face while I was thinking about how to recognize Levi. When I told him where we were going to meet in the message, I asked him this too but he said, "I can recognize you." 

As I was talking to Levi, I was surprised that this guy was (Y/N)’s ex-boyfriend because, you know, his speech was harsh, there was no indication of warmth. I suppose they were totally different personalities. 

I leaned over and took a sip of my coffee in the meantime, my eyes caught the man who walked through the door. The guy had short height and wore black clothes all over, a black-throb sweater, a black leather jacket and black jean and I can swear to God I've never seen a man that black colour looks better on him. He took off his glasses and started examining the inside. It was obvious that he was a foreigner, but with his charisma, he was like the owner of this place. His eyes stopped when they came to the table where I was. I slowly put the coffee on the table. Was it possible that this man was Levi? Because if he is, oh, my girl! 

When the guy approached my desk with calm steps and stood right in front of me, I had no doubt. 

“Hitch? “ he asked me. 

I jumped up as if something had sunk into my butt and handed my hand. 

“ You can call me Dreyse.” 

He pulled the chair and sat on it. It was absurd to look so handsome and have a cold personality at the same time. I really wondered how you Levi and (Y/N) fall in love. So I followed him and sat in my chair. 

“You want some coffee or something?” I asked him and he turned his head to me from the window. I shrugged. 

“Is there any chance she'll come here while we're here?” he asked me with a quiet voice. 

“No way! Don’t worry, she doesn't even have time to scratch his head these days.” The thing I said lead to him to smile lightly. 

“She must be overstressed right now.” he spoke with his eyes on the table. 

When he wasn't looking at me, I stared at him for a while and started examining him. When Levi first walked in, he could pierce my heart with his harsh glance, on the other hand when he was talking about (Y/N), his gaze was soft and his cheeks were blundered a little bit. 

“She didn't tell us anything about you. I need to know everything before I agree to help you.” I said to him. 

He pointed his cold stare at my face and told me how everything started, how they started to be together, how much he broke her heart in the past, and why he left with her. Besides, he always told me how much he loved hee. Besides all these things that he told me, he mentioned how much he loves (Y/N) and regretted his stupid behaviours. 

“When Hange gave me your phone number, I thought too much believe me. After all these things, I didn't want to come back and disrupt her life. I told you I wanted to gain her heart back on the phone but I am not sure if I can do it. I can't force her to do anything, maybe it's all over for her, I don’t know! I made so many mistakes that unforgettable. I just came here without thinking and I want you to help me.” 

This guy wouldn't give me time to digest what I've heard, obviously. 

“I don't know if I should trust you, but what exactly is the help you want from me?” 

“If I were you, I wouldn't trust me.” a little smile appeared on his face. 

“Why are you smiling?” I asked him. If he's unreliable, what's there to laugh about? 

“I will never repeat the mistakes I've made.” He was confident, Levi loved her, and he was sure of his feelings, the answer was clear. I must confess, I loved the way how he loves (Y/N). 

“I need a job here first, and I need to meet her later, and, of course, you need to support me so she doesn't run away from me.” he took his hands off the table and tied his arm in front of his chest. I pointed my eyes at him with suspicion. 

“Don't you think your wishes are a little too much?” 

He put his hands on the table again. 

“Please…” he whispered deeply. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

“Then luckily we found a job in cafe also he had an experience for these type of works…” 

As if something had come to your mind, you suddenly lifted your head you interrupted Dreyse's speech. 

“Wait, he hasn’t any experience about being barista, what are you talking about?” you asked her. 

“ I don’t know (Y/N), actually he couldn’t say lie because he talked with chef also he is really making coffee. They didn't even need to teach the job for him. I saw myself.” 

You were confused because as far as you knew he was thinking about making coffee and tea but he didn’t make this as professional. 

“Then Rico and Levi met because I didn't think I could handle this burden alone.” 

“He was super-handsome, of course, I agreed to help him.” 

You all laughed together that what Rico said. You felt a little bit of heavy air falling apart. 

“You already know the rest. In fact, we were trying to set the right time to get you two to meet, but you were a little hasty.” 

After a brief silence, Rico broke the silence. 

“You know you're going to make the right decision. Just don't hurt yourself anymore and do what your heart wants.” 

You smiled at her. 

“You mean you want to join me for a drink today?” 

“Hell yeah! I’m calling the boys.” Rico said. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

You were leaning against the wall, listening to Rico's exciting way of telling. You didn't drink too much, but you felt so tired, especially mentally. The drops flowing from the cold beer glass fell on your fingers. You were trying to catch them without falling on the table because there was nothing else to take care of. Suddenly Moblit leaned over to your ear and said something. 

“Do you want to get some fresh air?” 

You shook your head in a positive way. It would be good for you to go out and get some fresh air because the place you were sitting in was pretty crowded and suffocating. You took a lot of effort to get out of the human sea, then you sat in a nearby bank. 

You saw Moblit a few more times after New Year's Eve. You didn't know much about him, and you obviously didn't wish to learn it right now, but you were sure he was a good friend and apparently, he was bored with the crowd too. 

You were leaning against a bank, enjoying a little silence. From afar, the sound of music was rising from the place you just left. You were not comfortable with Moblit sitting quietly, you even hoping he wouldn't try to talk to you. 

When you heard Moblit's voice, you were surprised that the peace lasted this long. 

“Actually, I wanted to tell you something.” 

You weren’t really interested in anything that Moblit would say today also you found it annoying that Moblit would shake his leg in a tense way. 

“Look, Moblit. Uhm why we talk la…” 

“I like you,(Y/N)”. 

Oh, well fuck…


End file.
